Train conductor: Mr Raymond Johnson, if you're looking for your wife, she's in car #6604.
Random guy: With me!
–2 Train
Train conductor: Mr Raymond Johnson, if you're looking for your wife, she's in car #6604.
Random guy: With me!
–2 Train
Dude #1: Hey, you want a hot dog?
Dude #2: No, I’m good.
Dude #1, about absent vendor: The guy isn’t there. I was gonna take the whole thing.
–Yankee Stadium
Guy: I guess I’d rather be bulimic than anorexic.
Girl: Oh, why?
Guy: Well, I guess it’s the more satisfying eating disorder, cause you can taste yourself getting skinnier every time you vomit!
–40th & Park
Overheard by: Mal
Heavyset guy: You should be out there with a camera, I'll be streaking.
Disgusted girl: I hope they withhold your degree.
–Whitehead Hall, Brooklyn College
Young man with wife: Excuse me, miss, do you mind moving over one so we can sit together?
Angry black woman: No, no, no, no. I paid to be here, I can sit wherever I damn well please!
Man overhearing conversation: What is your problem, lady?
Angry black woman: Shut up! I can do whatever I want! I paid to be here!
Young man: I curse you, lady!
Angry black woman: What? You curse me? You can't curse me! You ain't god! You ain't nothin'! Well guess what, I reverse the curse on you, fool!
–Loews Theatre, 42nd St
Girl: He has a really amazing skull.
–Bakery, Cortelyou Road
Guy to friend: Why is that girls can get away with picking their noses?
–170th St & Broadway
Loud girl on cell in line at deli: You know I have bladder issues whenever I have sex!
–Broadway & Ooper
Lady suit, screaming into cell: Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! I need a goddamn colon cleanse!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Colin
Guy: You’re married, right?
Woman: Yes.
Guy: I’m too black and ugly for you anyways, right?
–Park Avenue
Overheard by: Skid
Hobo: Hey look, I almost forgot my umbrella!…I came all the way back from the liquor store to get it. Hey look, a quarter!
Dude: Your day keeps getting better, doesn’t it?
–Citibank, 56th & Broadway
Overheard by: Katherine
Girl: If they all died, he wouldn't have any problems.
Guy: Not everyone, just my grandmother.
–9th St & 2nd Ave
Middle aged dude #1: My son has a black roommate, by choice. French black, but black just the same.
Middle aged dude #2: (silence)
Middle aged dude #1: He says the Asians are the funniest. He's in a band with some Chinese guys.
–Starbucks, Union Square
Overheard by: Tall Skim Latte
