Professor, after student coughs: Yes. Yes. I'm just getting over my cold. You saw me! In the theater, I was a row ahead of you!
Student: Yeah…
Professor, with infinite sadness: I had a coughing fit. I…I just…melted. I melted.
–NYU
Professor, after student coughs: Yes. Yes. I'm just getting over my cold. You saw me! In the theater, I was a row ahead of you!
Student: Yeah…
Professor, with infinite sadness: I had a coughing fit. I…I just…melted. I melted.
–NYU
Radiology nurse: I have been asked out before. But never while giving a barium enema!
–Radiology Medical Office, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Paper
Doctor on cell: I have to get oriented as to the location of those cadavers!
–3rd Ave, Near Cabrini Medical Center
Older doctor to younger doctor in a group: You actually tried to get a dermatology consultant to come in the middle of the night? That was pretty dumb. You know those guys wouldn't get out of their Shea butter body wraps unless the world was ending.
–Kings County Emergency Room
Suit to lady friend: If you really wanted to smoke crack you'd go to the hospital!
–Nassau St & Ann St
Overweight girl to female friend: Wanna play gynecologist?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Hipster girl: I’d rather face the stigma of buying feminine hygiene products than face the stigma of having a stinky hoo-ha.
–13th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: agreed
Girl: Remember Diana? Stinky Diana? She’s back, and she’s getting married.
–West 47th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Peter G
Chick: If I’m going to play beer pong, I need to be fragrant.
–Sammy’s, 11th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: McF
Little boy to dad: I don’t want to go to Africa! I don’t want to smell the camels!
–5th Ave & Park Pl, Park Slope
Voice on intercom: The Children’s Section is closed due to… that smell.
–NY Public Library, East 96th St
Overheard by: Diane
Chick: So, did you smell your toilet paper?
–MoMA cafe
Overheard by: Sweettart
Girlfriend: So, my Christopher is a little feminine sometimes…
Boyfriend: I spent two hours shaving this morning!
Dude: Yeah, but shaving what, is the question.
Girlfriend: Not that.
Boyfriend: No, that was yesterday.
Dude, disgusted: I was talking about your legs, but thanks…
–Hershey’s store, Times Square
Overheard by: equally disgusted
Teenage girl #1: Ew, I have such bad dandruff. I need to like get rid of it because I can never wear black.
Teenage girl #2: Ew I know, me too! Except I have crotch dandruff.
Teenage girl #1: Umm… What’s that?
Teenage girl #2: I don’t know but every time I scratch my crotch it looks like it’s snowing.
–A Train
Overheard by: Does that mean she can’t wear black pants?
Man: We had him circumcised.
Woman: Circumcised?
Man: Yeah, whatever you do with dogs. You know…
Woman: Neutered?
Man: Isn't that the same thing?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Nettle
College girl #1: I mean, if I saw a person seizing in the middle of the street, I probably wouldn't help them.
College girl #2: Yeah, I wouldn't know what to do.
College girl #1: She said that because of her first aid class, she knew to put him in a safety position, but I don't even know what that means! I mean, if a person is having a seizure, I don't think any position is very safe for them…
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Scarlett
Guy to whispering girl: What?
Girl #1: You don't wanna know.
Guy: Yeah, I do.
Girl #2: No, you don't.
Guy: I don't! Why do you whisper? Include me! I wanna know!
Girl #1: Fine. I'll tell you. (loudly) My uterus hurts!
–63rd Drive, Queens
Overheard by: Therese
Guy: …and he had, like, shark teeth! Three fucking rows of them! I swear.
–Fulton & Gold
Southern woman on cell: I could not feel worse than I do right now…You will…Oh my god, they are gonna have to land that airplane so you can vomit.
–66th between CPW and Columbus
Overheard by: Charlie
Dirtbag: Man, I have to get over to Europe. I gotta sell a fucking kidney.
–St. Mark’s Place
Man on cell: Yeah baby, yeah, I’m still in London. Yeah, I’ll be back on Wednesday, baby.
–West 4th & Jane
Conductor: You’re now entering the country of Brooklyn. Please have your passports ready…
–F train
Overheard by: Paul Eng
