Little boy: Mommy, mommy!
Mom: What?
Little boy: Can I please have this? (holds up Transformers toy)
Mom, laughing: Yeah, the tooth fairy's gonna have to come a lot more for you to afford that.
–Target
Little boy: Mommy, mommy!
Mom: What?
Little boy: Can I please have this? (holds up Transformers toy)
Mom, laughing: Yeah, the tooth fairy's gonna have to come a lot more for you to afford that.
–Target
Teeny tiny gay guy: I used to be so skinny in high school.
–Staten Island
Teenage girl to another: I mean, why bother to eat anything if you're just gonna shit it all out?
–L Train
Woman carrying baby to friend: Also, I burn an extra 500 calories a day just by breastfeeding!
–5th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: Tracy
20-something guy, about Sour Patch Kids gummy candy: They're fat-free, so they're good for you!
–4 Train
Six-year-old girl, eating bagel: All of the fat from this is going to go straight to my ass!
–A Train
Overheard by: that's just great
British tourist to misbehaving child: Do you want a smacked bottom now or the other thing when we get home?
–Central Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Mom to kid playing on shopping cart: You'd better stop that, or you're going to fall and crack your head, and I'm going to laugh, cuz I told you so.
–Grocery Store
Father to four-year-old son: Watch out, these people are trying to kill us.
–36th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: benny
Guy to son who is hesitant about seat in theater: If I had been this choosy with your mom, you wouldn't be here!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Mother to daughter: I don't want to hear about your hunger pangs right now. Now turn around and look at the sea lions.
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: kathcom
Tot, slapping storybook shut: No! The end!
Father: Leee-o.
Tot: Pleeease no!
–F Train
Overheard by: Deborah Smith
Kid: Daddy, I want a big car.
Dad: If you want a big car, you have to get a good job.
Kid: I want to be an artist like you.
Dad: Well, I went to college for art and now I don't have a lot of money and I don't have a car.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Child-Averse Art Hater
Very little black kid, anxiously standing in line: Mommy, why can't I get dessert?
Mother: Why don't you get a job, nigga?
–KFC
Drunk man, with fist in air: This is Sparta!
Young boy: I thought it was New York City…
–5th Ave
Mom to little girl punching her in the butt on their way out of the bank: Don't you hit me! What's wrong with you?
Girl, whining: But I want my own money.
Mom: Well, you don't have a checking account now, do you?
–56th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Nikki G
Mom, reading magazine: You heard of Twilight? Is it good?
Kid: Dunno. I don't think you'd like it. It's got kissing. And vampires.
–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca
Overheard by: Quack
Young guy: If I see another blue penis it would be too soon!
–42nd St
Overheard by: alecko
Girl on cell: She just bought a merkin… It was pink, you know, to match her hair. (pause) Would you want to rub toxic dye down there?
–Williamsburg
Girl to another: Just because he is wearing a different colored shirt, he's still the same guy.
–Central Park
Flamboyant guy, shouting to girl in very short orange dress: I have that same orange dress in purple!
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Green Star
Mother to four-year-old wearing pink shirt and shoes: Not *everything* has to be pink, honey.
–Rite Aid, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
