Little girl: My birthday is next week.
Woman: Oh? What sign are you?
Little girl: I’m Italian and Jewish.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Chris D.
Little girl: My birthday is next week.
Woman: Oh? What sign are you?
Little girl: I’m Italian and Jewish.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Chris D.
Little kid: Grandma, I want a dollar.
Ghetto grandma: Nigga, we had to work to get money, sometimes we would get beat.
Little kid: Can I get my dollar now?
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Julio Pena
Black kid to father: Dad, were you ever a slave?
Father: No, son.
Black kid: Was I ever a slave?
Father: No.
Black kid, sighing: Good.
–Doctor's Office, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Mike F.
Girl: Shut the fuck up, Josh!
Boy: You told me to be a fuckin’ quiet monkey, and I’m being a fuckin’ quiet monkey, and you tell me to shut the fuck up? I am a fucking quiet monkey!
–16th & 1st
Overheard by: Caroline
Girl: He’s like, "Why so cold?" and I’m like, "You licked my ear! You licked my ear! You licked my ear! I cannot emphasize enough that you licked my ear."
–43rd & 9th
Girl on cell: So if he licked my pussy, would it ruin our friendship?
–W 4th Street
Eight-year old boy: Can I please lick your eyeball, mom?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: thankfully, not the mom
20-something woman talking to friends: So, having some guy really close to your ear with his tongue out is the most horrifying thing ever… Some guy just licked me on the subway. He emptied, like, an entire tube of toothpaste on my hair and back and then proceeded to lick it off me…I got to work and went to the bathroom. I washed my hair, and scrubbed my back raw, but I didn’t feel clean until I got home and took a shower.
–Gift Shop, The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Lauren Weiss
Girl to friend: And then she bent over and he licked her ass.
–Astor Place Subway Station
Overheard by: Shane and Sammy
Pretentious redhead: So I said, "Please don’t lick me. I’m just trying to do my job."
–Uptown E Train
Overheard by: wondering where she works
10-year-old tourist kid: Mom, is Brooklyn famous for its graffiti?
–Coney Island-bound D train
Overheard by: BB
White guy, pointing: Over there in Brooklyn three-year-olds just, like, walk around!
–Delancey & Essex
Overheard by: Red Hair
Guy walking through bar: What’s with Brooklyn and beards?
–Union Hall, Park Slope
Overheard by: jasonjason
Guy: Brooklyn is the middle borough in terms of goodness.
–Kosher Delight
Thugette to double decker tour bus: Brooklyn! Brooklyn! You’re taking a tour of Brooklyn! I just got out of jail!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Staying on the bus….
Black lady #1: I’m still waiting for that African guy to get back.
Black lady #2: You mean the guy with the crazy kids running all around? Those kids were wild.
Black lady #1: Well you know those people, they aren’t used to being indoors.
Black lady #2: Yeah they used to running all around in the jungle.
–Central Post Office, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Baby Bee
Volunteer: So, what do you want to be for Halloween?
Seven-year-old-boy: I was thinkin I'd be a gangsta…or Peter Pan.
–Shelter, the Bronx
Female shopper to Bloomingdale's cologne sprayer: Don't you dare spray your $30 over my $150.
–Perfume Aisle, Bloomingdale's
Old lady on cell: I mean, it's just five million…
–Madison & 77th St
Very rich mom to new nanny, about baby in stroller: Okay, well, she loves sushi, and…
–Upper East Side
Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, "we're in a recession, let's go to Dolce."
–42nd St
Overheard by: I want a m6
Label-whore eating grapes and cheese, to friend: Oh my god, I feel so rich when I eat this stuff… Oh, wait, I am.
–Paul's Cafe
Five-year-old boy: I have nipples! Look! I have nipples!
Mother: Yes, you do.
Five-year-old boy: I have breasts!
Mother: No, boys don't have breasts.
Five-year-old boy: Neither do you!
–Old Navy, Chelsea
