Tween girl #1: I don’t understand why anyone would be pro-life.
Tween girl #2: Yeah, I’m gonna get my tubes tied once I’m old enough.
–16th & 2nd
Overheard by: alex duncan
Tween girl #1: I don’t understand why anyone would be pro-life.
Tween girl #2: Yeah, I’m gonna get my tubes tied once I’m old enough.
–16th & 2nd
Overheard by: alex duncan
Girl #1: What’s the plural of “panini”?
Girl #2: It’s just “panini” … Like goose.
–28th & 2nd
Woman on cell: I’m here now, where are you?
Man on cell: Right in front of you.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Metrosexual guy: Oh, there were babies everywhere in there.
JAP #1: I know, babies are so trendy!
JAP #2: I have to get one.
–Outside Anthropology, 5th Ave
Overheard by: population control
Suit #1: So, when are you meeting him downtown?
Suit #2: I don’t know. It depends on when he gets done having sex with Gabrielle.
Suit #1: That doesn’t sound too bad!
–32nd St
Preppy girl: He was nice — really successful, owns his own apartment… I just wasn’t into him. He kept trying to hook up and I just wanted to be left alone. He proceeded to jerk off into his pajama pants. Oh, and by the way, it took about 40 seconds. I didn’t even have enough time to react. He then rolled over and went to sleep in it! The worst part is that he’s still calling me. Hello, buddy — you jerked off into your own pants and slept in your own cum. Yeah, we’re not gonna work.
Guy friend: That’s awesome! Who can I tell next?
–47th & Lex
Little girl, as car alarm goes off when she passes by: What was that?
Older sister: Oh, don't worry, it was probably me.
Little girl: Psh! You're not that hot!
–26th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lara
Blonde on cell: So it was either an ambulance or a taqueria.
–Times Square
Girl on cell: What? What!? Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital! Please. Why? Because when you get stabbed you go to the hospital, you don’t go and lay down.
–Jersey Transit
Thug, in a rush: Look, I don’t give a fuck! I just want Medicaid!
–13th & 3rd
Disgruntled male gynecologist: We’re the bastard stepchildren of the surgery world. General surgeons barely think we’re human. "Oh, don’t get up, it’s just a gynecologist." I could have been a general surgeon, a plastic surgeon, a dentist, a lawyer… I’d be making more money, too. My brother’s cat needed a caesarian section and the vet got paid more than I get paid to do a caesarian section!
–Gynecology Office, 32nd & Madison
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl on cell: I told you I was sick and needed to go to the doctor’s! I can’t even swallow! I tried food, water and liquids!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ross
Chick in scrubs (lighting cigarette) to friend in scrubs: My heart rate won’t go down!
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: McFreaky
College girl #1, about old lady talking angrily behind her: Who do you think she's yelling at? Don't look, I think you should guess. Don't look!
College girl #2: No, I'm going to look. Yeah, she's not talking to anyone. No phone.
College girl #1: Oh.
(they both turn around to stare at her and continue walking)
College girl #1: Well, she's probably Italian.
–27th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Lynne
Loud angsty teen boy: My life is a tragedy and I’m only in act two!
–LaGuardia High School
Overheard by: He’s no Shakespeare…
Actor: I almost woke up dead this morning. But I don’t have an understudy.
–Gallery Players, Park Slope
Overheard by: Emily B.
Guy: …and grimace could play Mary Magdalene.
–Lincoln Center
Shake Shack patron: It was like Menopause: The musical.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Queer on cell: Honey, if you thought Menopause was funny, you are gonna piss yo pants at The Vagina Monologues!
–Walgreens, Union Square
Flyer guy to girl with Rent shirt: Why you gonna go see Rent? Have you seen it yet? The gay guy dies. Woo!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Minerva
Stagehand: Julliard is a school. It’s not like Spamalot.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Emily B.
