Fashionista queer: Excuse me, could I bum a cigarette?
Rocker queer: Sorry, I don't smoke. But you should take that as a sign to quit! It's bad for you!
Fashionista queer: Who cares, I'm skinny!
–Cafeteria, 17th & 7th
Overheard by: Nellee
Fashionista queer: Excuse me, could I bum a cigarette?
Rocker queer: Sorry, I don't smoke. But you should take that as a sign to quit! It's bad for you!
Fashionista queer: Who cares, I'm skinny!
–Cafeteria, 17th & 7th
Overheard by: Nellee
Conductor, over speaker: Excuse me, young lady in the pink shirt. Stop holding the door!
Someone else wearing a pink shirt: But I’m not!
–E train
Woman at bar to her friend: Ok, I know I’m an art dealer, but I’m like, the least bourgeois person I know.
–Smith & Mills (restaurant in Tribeca)
Overheard by: the lerpa
Little boy to friends: There are are four really big, important artists: Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir and… Pistachio.
–Impressionism Room, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: I love Pistachio’s green period
Young girl: These paintings smell nice and fresh!
–The Met
Angry white suburban artist to Jews for Jesus: Stop talking! You are pushing this on me without me asking -that makes you a cult. Go away. We don’t like your kind here -we are all white suburban artists.
–Morgan L Stop on Bogart
Overheard by: not a hipster
Gangsta: Dali? Ain’t he like, Picasso or some shit?
–The Met
Boy: You know what, I don’t know anyone who has such good taste in fashion as me, and I’m only twelve!
Mom: Honey, stop saying those things. People will think you’re arrogant.
Girl: It’s only arrogance if you’re wrong.
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Frustrated looking suit: Okay, well, how about the duck? It looks good.
Vapid looking hottie: I told you! I do not eat seafood!
–Gramercy Tavern, Union Square
Girl, after writing essay: You know how she asked us to write what we thought?
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: I put down that I needed to blow my nose.
–NYU
Punk girl: So he said he really wants to get me really drunk again.
Punk friend: Why?
Punk girl: Because he said I’m as cute as a Care Bear.
Friend: What the hell does that mean?
Girl: Um, who cares? That’s so sweet… and I didn’t even sleep with him for it. Now help me push up my tits.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Ingss
Conductor: Please stop holding my doors open in the back! (pause, no change) Stop pushing open my doors in the back! (pause, no change) Hey, I don't want no more people squeezing through my openings in the back, okay?
–Q Train
Overexcited tourist dad to little girls: Alright, Jade*, blow the bubbles towards Leah*. Yes, towards her, like facing each other, so I can take a picture… When I tell you, okay? Perfect. Okay, now blow each other.
–Liberty Park
Suit: Well, it's not very large by adult standards, but it's big for what it is.
–Queens
Male office worker: My drawers are getting tight already.
–Broadway
Old woman: Would you like to give a donation to help feed our pussies?
–PETCO, Union Square
Overheard by: Lex
Pizza lady: Next.
[No one responds.]Pizza lady in loud, harsh voice: Next!
Loud, black girl at the beginning of the line: Okay!
Random NYU student: Wow, the pizza line is rough today.
–NYU Kimmel Center
Conductor: Welcome to another day on the N train, ladies and gentlemen. If you will look out the window to your right you will see absolutely nothing!
–N train
Conductor on speaker: Kings Highway?! Why’s it gotta be Kings Highway?
–B train, Kings Highway station
Overheard by: I feel his pain
Lady conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, blah blah blah, blah blah blah. If you need to get to 28th Street, 23rd Street, or 18th Street, well, you’re screwed.
–1 train, 34th St
Overheard by: Nettle
Conductor: There’s another train right behind us. There really is. I can see the lights. It could be a bus, but we are in a tunnel underground with tracks running through it, so I’m sure there is another F train behind us.
–F train
Overheard by: I can see the light too
Conductor: Please take small children as you exit the train… Oh… I mean, please take small children by the hand as you leave the train.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Cheerful conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, there is no downtown 2 train, but luckily we’re going uptown, so it doesn’t matter.
–2 train
Overheard by: andy kleiman
Conductor: We’re not the NYPD or the FDNY, New York’s finest and bravest. Above or below ground, we’re the MTA, and we move New York. Ya heard?!
–A train, between 125th & 59th St
