Small boy, waving to man entering subway: Bye, daddy! See you tonight!
Mother: You will never see that man again.
–Broadway & Rector
Overheard by: neoteny4now
Small boy, waving to man entering subway: Bye, daddy! See you tonight!
Mother: You will never see that man again.
–Broadway & Rector
Overheard by: neoteny4now
Guy on cell: It's not like I take my ear wax, put it on my penis, and use it as lube.
–Queens
Overheard by: Jess
Friends on stoop: Bro, did you see that ass? I would lick the fart out that ass!
–19th & 6th
Middle-aged yuppie, about club in Las Vegas: And I said "here's our check, and if another pubic hair falls in our drink, you're in trouble!"
–Times Square
Overheard by: Scott
Boy in car to mom: Hey mom, what about anal leakage?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Brenna
Guy to friend: She said she was stressed out studying for finals, I didn't realize that meant she hadn't been showering. As soon as I got there we started "hitting it". It was too late when I realized how dirty she was. Dude, I literally licked a layer of crust off her.
–3rd St b/w Ave A & B
Overheard by: saffrosun
Guy on cell: We get a little crazy wearing real pants. If we go to the store or something, we'll find ourselves bickering because we're wearing real pants.
–Washington Square Park
Traffic cop, motioning people to move quicker to clear the intersection: C'mon, people! They're real cars, they hit real hard!
–Broadway & Houston
Incredulous 30-something to tourist parents, during intermission of The Lion King: Well, I'm just really disappointed. I thought there were going to be real lions.
–Minskoff Theater
Overheard by: Not at the Circus
Lady in glasses on cell: Being naked is being real.
–West Broadway & Thomas St
Overheard by: Alex S.
Small girl dressed as pink fairy to woman next to her dressed in brown dress with a pentacle necklace: Hi. I like your costume.
Woman: Thank you, but it's not a costume.
(long pause)
Girl: What are you supposed to be, anyway?
Woman: A witch.
Girl: But you're not really a witch, right?
Woman: Yes, I am.
Girl: No, you're not!
Woman: Yes, I am.
Girl: You can't be a witch, you don't even have a wand!
(woman proceeds to pull wand out of her bookbag)
Girl: Eeee! Moooooooommy! She's going to turn me into a frooooog!
–A Train
Metro-north conductor: This train has five cars open.
Drunk teenage girl: Your mom has five cars open! Your mom's fellatio lips are open too!
(trio sits in row in front of girl and friend)
Drunk girl: I hate you, don't sit here. We're all going to throw up on you. Why are you still here? No one likes you.
Girl's friend: Why are you so drunk?
Drunk girl: That's something we'll never know.
–Metro-North
Man to son: Ya like that cheesecake?
Son: Uh-huh, it's good.
Man: Go to school, get good grades, get a good job, you can have cheesecake like that whenever you want.
–Dinner near Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: taylor Morgan
Man: I got beat up a lot in high school. It made me a better person.
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Incredibly Amused
Little boy: You best lay the smackdown on that hoe!
–Times Square
Student: I don't get why everyone is making such a big deal about Chris Brown hitting Rihanna, it's not like he's the first man to ever hit a girl. Get over it, world!
–Manhattan College, Riverdale, The Bronx
Overheard by: Stephen
Girl on cell outside beauty salon: If I didn't have things to do tonight, I would totally just slap the crap out of that girl. Seriously.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: maybe tomorrow, then?
Woman on cell: I went through this with my daughter this morning. (pause) Yeah, okay, you can hit me, but you can't hit anybody else.
–Cookshop Restaurant
Mother: I'm very angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: You don't love me!
Mother: No, I can love you, but still be angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: That does not make sense.
–18th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Not gay in chelsea
Little boy, looking at a replica of Michelangelo's David: Mommy, is that person naked?
Mother: Yes.
Little boy: Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?
–Arthur Ave, The Bronx
Girl to pregnant friend: You're only three months along? Man, you think it's twins?
Pregnant girl: I hope so. And hey, if it is twins, I'll finally have two kids by the same dad.
–Uptown E train
