Wednesday Out-Liners

Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.

–Bedford & S 3rd

Overheard by: Rocky

Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?

–Broadway

Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.

–Q Train

Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!

–Ave C & 7th St

Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.

–Rockefeller Center

30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Tom Guest

Posted on October 14, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Backdoor, Blue-collar workers, Brooklyn, Central Park, Cops, Coworkers, Dating, Drugs, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Guys, Hipsters, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Nothing Like a Spirited Game Of Who's-the-Crack-Baby

Mom, loudly: Who does mommy love?
Screaming toddler, holding cup in stroller: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Mommy loves the baby! And who's the baby?
Child: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Are you the baby?
(child starts crying)
Mom: Oh, stop that! You're old enough to drink a latte, so quit crying.

–183rd St & Ft. Washington Ave

Overheard by: Anna

Posted on October 14, 2014
Age/Aging, Crying, Kids, Love, Moms, Parents, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Washington Heights and Inwood

Even General Powell?

Big black guy #1: Yo, does anybody know where we get off to go uptown?
White passenger: The next stop.
Big back guy #1: Yo, everyone shut up and listen to the white nigga! He’s givin’ us directions!
Big black guy #2: Ain’t no such thing as a white nigga, fool!

–F Train

Posted on October 12, 2014
Black People, Default, Directions, Guys, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Race, White People

What? I Was at Berkeley in the 70's

Boyfriend: What do they got, babe?
Girlfriend: Um, sandwiches, baked ziti, tossed salad…
Boyfriend: Aaaaw yeeeah. Tooossed saalaad.
Girlfriend: Alex…
Older 50-something: What, what's so funny? What?
Boyfriend: Um…yeah, no. Nothing, I was just being stupid.
(girlfriend giggles)
Older 50-something: What?
(boyfriend whispers in 50-something's ear and she looks confused for a second)
Older aunt: Oh. You mean a rim job.

–Outdoor Cafe, 1st & 7th

Posted on October 11, 2014
Couples, Families, Food, Licking, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, Stupidity, The Village, Women

Aren't You from the South Bronx?

White girl: So, how are you finding Atlanta?
Black girl: There are a lot more black people than I've ever seen.

–Broadway & 56th

Overheard by: marie

Posted on October 10, 2014
Black People, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Race, White People

Like Semen Dialysis?

Guy #1, shocked, and loud: Wow, so it fills your whole body with sperm?!
Guy #2, pondering: You know, I’m not quite sure how it works.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Pt Photo

Posted on October 10, 2014
Cum, Default, Guys, Penn Station, Questions, Weirdness

Though I'm Sure Marlon Brando Is Trying.

Mom, visibly winded and tired : Why are we walking so much?
30-something daughter: To work up an appetite for dinner.
Mom: Dead people don't eat.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Posted on October 10, 2014
Death, Fitness, Food, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Moms, Questions, Street, West Village

Because If It Was the Backs of Your Knees, I'm Intrigued.

Buff guy #1: So she was like “I wanna suck you.”
Buff guy #2: Wait…like your dick, suck you, or something else?

–F Train

Posted on October 9, 2014
BJs, Guys, Licking, On the Subway, Penis, Questions, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liner Is Murder

Black man: I can never watch you eat sausage again. It was the most awkwardly erotic thing I've ever seen. It was the perfect combination of food and female.

–Pratt Coffee Shop, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Maryrose

Boy to friend: And then the teacher said: "and that's the history of ham"!

–Queens

Overheard by: alex

Young woman on cell: Well, I would go to Gray's for hot dogs with you, but I can't. I gave up tubed meat for lent.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Caroline

Cute teen girl: It'd be like a floppy bag of meat… (pause) I'm not talking about dick!

–Starbucks

Woman placing drive-thru order: And two junior bacon cheeseburgers. Actually, I don't want the bacon. I don't want to get the swine flu.

–Wendy's Drivethru, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Oh the Pig-manity!

Upset Orthodox Jew mother to baby in stroller: Bacon!? Who told you about bacon!?

–West End & West 100th St

Posted on October 8, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Black People, Boys, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Food, Friends, Illness, Jewish Moms, Judaism, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Kink, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Queens, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Do They Pay You to Do That?

Southern tourist woman to waitress: You don't take credit cards? Where are we?
Drunk New Yorker at other table: You're at JG Melon!
(table cheers)

–74th & 3rd

Posted on October 7, 2014
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Bartenders, Directions, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Laughter, Money & Class, Questions, Southerners, Stupidity, Tourism, Upper East Side

Questions

Even General Powell?