Sorority girl #1: Maybe Italy is, like, the city of love…
Sorority girl #2: No. That's Virginia.
–Wagner College
Sorority girl #1: Maybe Italy is, like, the city of love…
Sorority girl #2: No. That's Virginia.
–Wagner College
Man: So I was making out with my ex girlfriend on the bridge and out of nowhere this dog runs over and starts humping my leg…
–Uptown 1 Train
Dude outside bar: All dogs are gay.
–7th Avenue, Park Slope
Overheard by: The Katie
Black man arguing with kiosk man: Yo, he ain't my son, he's my dog!
–6th Street
Middle-aged woman walking her dog to passersby: I'm a dog! I don't know why none of you believe me! I talk to my dog. Humans don't talk to animals, animals talk to animals! I'm not human! And until you people realize that, you're going to keep having problems with me!
–9th St & University Place
Overheard by: Katie
Drunk guy to girls walking puppy: Hey giiirl. Watch yo dawg. Giiirl! Watch yo dog… Cuz I might bite!
–Staten Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Izzy
(teacher's cell rings)
Teacher: I have a feeling I have to answer this. It's very important. It's about my puppy.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: student
20-something girl: I don't let people with toes like that into my bed!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: insizlane
Old man on cell: Just tell her to go to Duane Reade and get that shit that puts your urethra to sleep.
–East Village
Overheard by: doctors are so jaded
Woman: My son has a perfect head, it's not flat on no sides.
–44 Bus, Staten Island
(man comes over and pushes down everyone's safety bar)
Woman: My uterus just came out of my vagina.
–Coney Island Cyclone
Guy on cell: …and it's just not Sunday unless you've had your finger in someone.
–Houston & Macdougal
Overheard by: Lish
Frat boy: That is the last time I am *ever* jacking off to gay porn.
–Gristedes, 42nd St
Overheard by: …while sober or drunk?
Frat boy to another frat boy staring intently at a young woman dressed as a Hogwarts student: I am really drunk!
–14th St & University Place
Midwest frat dude: The ugliest girls in New York City are like the hottest girls I've ever seen!
–St.Marks & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: slohmie
Frat boy: Dude, I'm not hating -I love gay guys. All I'm saying is -they buy a lot of Kosher wine.
–23rd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Dina
Frat boy: We've had sex everywhere… In cars, in public places…I've seen her vagina more times than I've seen my mother's!
–Wagner College
Girl on cell passing by: That sounds great, honey, but there is no possible reason you'd need to shove an entire lime in the garbage disposal.
–Lafayette & Houston
(tourist lady eats banana)
Ferry bag lady: Why are you eating that banana? You know it's not healthy for you. They say you need potassium but you don't need no potassium. You don't want no banana, it's nasty and mushy. Throw it out. Throw out that banana. You don't want no nasty mushy banana.
(bug-eyed tourist lady continues to eat banana)
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Five-year-old girl, sitting in the grocery cart next to her twin sister, as their mother pushes them around the store: You're squishing me like a pineapple! You're squishing me like a pineapple, I said!
–9th St Market
Overheard by: Elle Woods (Chelsea Huckabay)
Old man with Boston accent to prepubescent boy: Squirt that in your nose and it's like you have a blueberry bush.
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Anniemal
20-year-old bakery chick: I was in Brooklyn yesterday on 18th Ave. There were three Mexicans on bikes. One was dressed like a banana. So then I walked up to him and I was like: "Dude, you're dressed like a banana and you're on a bike, that's awesome. Can I take a picture of you?"
–Bakery, Staten Island
Overheard by: Traci Cuccurullo
Loud girl: I never wash my fruit! I eat things that have fallen on the floor! And that's why I don't have allergies!
–375 Hudson St.
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
(teenage lovers on city bus)
Teenage girl: Was that an eggplant sandwich I saw you eating?
Teenage boy: Yes, it was actually eggplant Parmesan.
Teenage girl: But, you don’t even like eggs.
–SI City Bus
Bus driver: Next stop… Moheegan Sun–I mean 5th Avenue.
–Crosstown 86th Bus
Chinatown bus driver: Does anyone know how to get to Chinatown?
–Chinatown Bus
Bus driver: Utopia, transfer to the… Hmmm, the Q, the Q, the Q tres y uno. For all you Americans that’s the Q31.
–Q46 Bus
Bus driver as bus approaches 7th Ave: Next stop is 8th ave… or Broadway… or whatever street this is.
–M27 Bus
Overheard by: JoBell
Bus driver: Can you people please move back? It’s really crowded on here, you might find your future wife or something.
–48 Bus, Staten Island
Overheard by: Patricia!
Cranky bus driver on extremely crowded bus: This is Central Park West, get off. I mean, have a nice day!
–M86 Bus
Overheard by: Cori
Woman in stall #1: I hate it when this happens!
Woman in stall #2: What?
Woman in stall #1: These pants! They looked so nice but they flatten my ass. My ass is flat now. I look like pancake ass!
–Fitting Room, Staten Island
Guy #1: Yeah–it was great! They gave me all this stuff, three pairs of shoes and some shorts, just for showing up.
Guy #2: That’s great! When did you get out of the psych ward?
Guy #1: Just today!
–Stuyvesant Place, Staten Island
Male passerby, to guy wrapped in blue cellophane: Dude, what are you doing?
Female passerby: Why are you wearing blue cellophane?
Guy wrapped in blue cellophane: It’s not blue cellophane!
–Wagner College