Woman #1: She was as dumb as molasses.
Woman #2: Well, molasses don't have a brain.
Woman #1: Well, she was as dumb as that.
–Macy's
Woman #1: She was as dumb as molasses.
Woman #2: Well, molasses don't have a brain.
Woman #1: Well, she was as dumb as that.
–Macy's
Teen girl: [Mumbles.]Clerk: What?
Teen girl: [Speaks softly.]Clerk: You’re going to have to speak up.
Teen girl: [Leans over counter and mumbles.]Clerk: What? What the fuck are those? [Yells to coworker] Tina*! Do we have any morning after pills? [Teen girl sprints out of store.]
–Crowded CVS
Fat guy: So, you think she’s going to dump you?
Skinny guy: Yeah, she doesn’t seem to like the gonorrhea. It just keeps coming back!
Fat guy: Well, that’s the thing with gonorrhea.
–Walgreens, 18th & 1st
Overheard by: Trying Not To Laugh
Woman on cell, loudly: No, no, my baby's getting fixed that day!
–5th Ave
Yuppie thug in three-piece suit, loudly on cell while riding escalator: So you sayin' it's mines? How you know it's mines? Naw naw, how you know? Bitch, kiss my ass! If they ain't been no muh-fuckin DNA test, then they ain't been no baby sprung up outta my dick! I ain't no adoption agency!
–Borders, Penn Station
Overheard by: IJustWanttoBrowseMadonna'sBrother'sTell-AllinPeace
20-something male on cell: What did I tell you about having sex with people who have babymama problems? That's why I gave up my crush on Bristol Palin.
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Topical
Black lady with stroller: Ohhh, no. All y'all are not fitting into this car. Stop pushin' up on my baby. Y'all need to back that shit up now. (baby starts crying) What do you want? What do you want? Are you having hot flashes? Cause I know I am. Jesus!
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Alie
Black woman: Of all his babymamas, why he alway bothering her? He has all these babymamas and he's always bugging her. She must still be puttin' out.
–34th & Broadway
Very young pregnant woman purchasing cigarettes on: What the hell kind of difference does what you eat have on what kind of baby you have?
–Nostrand & Dean, Crown Heights
Overheard by: Siobhan
An old woman is drumming up contributions for the SPCA.
Young Man: Good luck!
Old Woman: We don’t need luck, we need cooperation. Does Bush say good luck to the soldiers? No, he just sends in more troops! Come on! Don’t be a phony.
–Kinko’s, 20th St. and 6th Ave.
Overheard by: Lucian Piane
Coffee vendor: That iced coffee will be eight dollars, and the straw will cost you fifty cents extra, ha ha.
Cashier: Man, Joe, that coffee's expensive!
Coffee vendor: Why'd you gotta say my name, man? What if my baby mama came up in here looking for child support and youse be sayin' my name?!
–Westside Market
Girl: Is this tequila comparable to Jose?
Old wino: Uhh, ask Leonard, but be careful, he'll go on forever.
Girl: S'okay, I'll fake a seizure.
–Liquor Store, 53rd St & 2nd Ave
Very happy male suit wearing slippers, shuffling down to the subway: If you can wear slippers in New York, you can wear slippers anywhere.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Lara
Suit on cell: I'm so glad to be in New York, where everyone is so mellow and everyone talks American.
–DiFara Pizzeria
Guy to date: That's what I love about New York–people wear different outfits.
–Outside Deluxe, 113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Dad to preteen daughter: See, I really don't have issues with citizens not from New York city.
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: depends on citizens
Woman on cell: I'm in New York, where Sesame Street lives.
–52nd & 7th
Overheard by: AEVRed
Southern lady on cell: I have to say I'm disappointed. I thought the Wal-Mart in New York would be amazing. Ya'll don't even have a Wal-Mart.
–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th
Woman, picking up rubber ball, to employee: Oh, what can you do with this?
–Scholastic Store, Soho
Freshman girl: What do we, like, throw in the recycling bin?
–Leon M. Goldstein High School
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Woman, descending stairs onto train platform: Oh my god! Is that a train?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: curious to know what else she was expecting to see at a train station…
Random tourist to young Asian kid: Do you sell fake bags?
–Canal Street Station
Astute shopper: Do you take Duane Reade cards here?
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: fellow customer
Guy on cell: Bagels with butter? Where am I gonna get that?
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: sarahjane
