Cashier: Do you want your receipt?
Customer: Yeah, I guess. (pauses to read as she walks to the exit) I love it when my books cost less than my lunch!
–The Strand
Overheard by: Suzanne
Cashier: Do you want your receipt?
Customer: Yeah, I guess. (pauses to read as she walks to the exit) I love it when my books cost less than my lunch!
–The Strand
Overheard by: Suzanne
Mom to kid: You said you wanted a history book, what were you thinking?
Kid to mom: Like, “History.” Back in horse time.
–Bookstore, Greenpoint
Overheard by: eefers
Yuppie lady boasting about son: He graduated summa cum laude from Villanova!
Cashier: Vee-la-no-va? Is that in New York?
Yuppie lady: No, it’s in–
Cashier, interrupting: –Yeah, then I don’t care.
–Clothing store, 54th & 5th
Sales guy: Are you going to Google me?
Queer: I don’t know, are you Google-able?
–Saks Fifth Avenue
College student: This is the best Barnes & Noble I've ever seen!
–Borders, Time Warner Center
Student: So, the author of the Tao Te Ching, Lao-low… Fuck it, we're calling him L-train.
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Harker
Large woman with friends: Oh, girl, I got to tell you about this book I'm reading. It's off the hook! They're sending in this undercover agent, and I think it's his sister, but he's all getting ready to have sex with her!
–White Castle, 36th & 8th
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Woman on phone: I was in Union Square, so I stopped in Barnes & Noble. (pause) Nigga, I can read!
–Union Square
Little British boy: Oh my goodness, dad, look! They have books on dating. How to Date? is probably like, "Don't take her to McDonald's!"
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Laura
Tattooed artsy guy, putting hand on artsy Asian girl's shoulder: I read your book and really liked it… lotta pissing, huh?
–Mott & Prince
Cute JAP talking about all the stuff she gets: I don't need a man, I have my mom.
–Rare View Bar
Overheard by: white guy
Blonde girl to male friend: Listen, John. Fifteen minutes, your mom. Fifteen minutes, your mom.
–R Train
Annoying 40-something new mom: A good mom always has a diaper in her pocket!
–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th
Overheard by: I Am McLovey
Coworker: I got a bootleg mother.
–Midtown
Window-shopping tourist to wife: Look, honey! It's the dress your mother wore when they buried her!
–Union Square
Overheard by: CJ
Guy: I go over to the house for Mother's Day and she yells at me for not calling her for Mother's Day like my brother did. So I go outside and call her from my cell and say "happy Mother's Day!" and she yells at me for being an idiot.
–37th & 7th
Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.
–Union Pool, Brooklyn
Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…
–LIRR
Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.
–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens
Overheard by: Aloof Loner
Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.
–Bloomingdale’s
Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V-neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!
–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square
Overheard by: Zarya
[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Tracy
Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise.
–PATH Train
Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, "What, like Gary Coleman?" and I'm like, "No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!"
–4th & 10th
Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It's totally fine.
–E 11th St
Overheard by: j
Suit on cell: And I was like, "Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera"!
–Bedford & 6th St
Black girl on cell: I told you, we're like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia.
–Borders, Wall St
Overheard by: step
Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can't put this on MySpace. I'm wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri!
–Outside Barrymore Theatre
Overheard by: Pasta…Salad
Technician: It will cost a hundred and fifty dollars to have our technicians look at it.
Girl with computer problem: A hundred and fifty dollars?! No way. I’d rather spend that on alcohol.
–Apple Store Genius Bar
Overheard by: becca
