Stupidity

Manning the Barricades Against Penile Lookism

Guy #1: You know, 82 percent of the world is not cut.
Guy #2: Yeah, I’m not circumcised.
Guy #3: Dude! That’s gross!
Guy #2: No — how so? It’s cool.
Guy #3: Yo, let’s call up some bitch and ask her what’s hotter: a dick with the skin or without it.
Guy #4: You know, the David is not circumcised.
Guy #2: See?! Cut penises are so bare.
Guy #5: How would you know?!
Guy #4: Yeah, but the David’s Jewish… It’s wrong! And how does an uncircumcised penis help you?
Guy #2: It protects dirt from coming in.

–Columbia University

And You’ll Think Boys Are Icky Until You’re 22, and You’ll Always Take Care of Me…

Little girl pointing to ad featuring peanut butter and banana on bread: What is that?
Mother, looking at ad for a moment: It’s sushi.
Little girl: What’s sushi?
Mother: It’s Chinese food… You wouldn’t like it.

–B train

Are You Certain That You Do?

Customer: So, can I have three tacos — two with chicken, and one chorizo?
Waitress: Eh, what was the last one?
Customer: Chorizo taco!
Waitress: Oh, I don’t know… The chef may not understand that. Y’know, he doesn’t really speak English…

–El Sombrero restaurant, LES

My 50 Plus His 75

Girl #1: It’s dangerous to walk and read at the same time, you know!
Girl #2: That’s genius.
Girl #1: It is! I got, like, 125 on an IQ test, you know. I just took it today. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I had someone helping me.

–PATH train

Overheard by: ryan link

Why the Country Voted for Him Twice

Bimbette #1: Like, I’m not okay with not believing him. Like, does that make sense?
Bimbette #2: Totally.

–East Village

He Should Get a New Doctor So He Can Ask the Old Doctor Out

Teen guy #1: When you get a physical, it’s normal to get a thumb up your ass, right?
Teen guy #2: Are you serious?
Teen guy #1: Why?
Teen guy #2: No, dude. That’s fucked.
Teen guy #1: Yeah… Time for a new doctor.

–51st & 2nd

Overheard by: Your mom

Can You?

Store clerk #1: Our manager is a B-I-C-T-C-H.
Store clerk #2: Yeah, because our customers can’t spell or anything…

–H&M, 34th St

We Took the Trail to Get Here

College girl #1: Which way to the Eiffel Tower?
Suit, puzzled, pointing East: That way?
College girl #2: How far is it?
Suit: … About three thousand miles.
College girl #1: No! No! [Makes peak with fingertips of both hands.] The… Eiffel… Tower!
Suit: Yeah, that way about three thousand miles — across the Atlantic Ocean — in Paris.
College girl #2, also making peak with hands: No! No! It’s a… It’s a… The Empire State Building!
Suit, pointing at looming Empire State Building: The Empire State Building is right there.
College girl #2: You have to excuse us — we’re from Oregon.

–45th & 5th

Ultimately, Knowing What Kind of Head It Was Proved to Be of Little Comfort

Girl #1: Ewww! Boar’s Head!
Girl #2: That’s the brand.
Girl #1: Oh.

–Food Emporium, 68th & Broadway

Overheard by: thea

But First Can We Talk about How There Are No Batteries in This Park?

Tourist #1: This artist is just making crap up. He’s painting shit that isn’t even there.
Tourist #2: What?
Tourist #1: See that skyline he’s working on? He’s painted in two skyscrapers that aren’t even there!
Tourist #2: Fuck, he heard you — run!

–Battery Park

Overheard by: kiwibloke

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist