Teenage dude #1: It's hot in here.
Teenage dude #2: That's 'cuz you don't shut up. You usin' up all the oxygen!
–Subway Elevator
Overheard by: Purple Hat Lady
Teenage dude #1: It's hot in here.
Teenage dude #2: That's 'cuz you don't shut up. You usin' up all the oxygen!
–Subway Elevator
Overheard by: Purple Hat Lady
Teen girl #1: He called me a stupid, illiterate bitch!
Teen girl #2: You're not stupid!
Teen girl #1: I know! Wait… what?
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: Sha
Teenage boy, explaining why he joined the Air Force: We've been around since World War II. We fought against the Germans and sank several submarines. We also killed a whale, but that's not the point.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
20-something dude to friend: Ma-fucking-rines! The Marines! Man, I'ma join up, be a Marine, and go all over the world, fuck, and have babies. I'ma get laid and have a baby in every country: Spain, France… even Pakistan!
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: camillia*
Little boy in army fatigues hiding behind fallen tree: Pow! Pow! Look, mommy! It's the Battle of the Bulge!
–St. Mark's
Lady with Russian accent to salesperson in outerwear section: I don't like the style, it's not feminine. It's like for soldiers, or Chinese people.
–Lord & Taylor, 39th St
Overheard by: mira
Off-duty MTA worker to another: Britain? Whatever man, we beat they ass with… muskets and shit!
–6 Train
30-something blonde in office attire on cell: You need to tell Vanessa that she can't be on the show because she's not overweight enough, and s not unattractive enough.
–Whole Foods Market, Chelsea
Syracuse University girl, going up escalator: I feel like I'm in Star Trek! (begins humming Indiana Jones theme)
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Mickey
20-something gaysian: Yeah, he watches Hannah Montana so I don't get why he makes fun of me for watching iCarly!
–Washington Square Park
Teen: I watched I Love Lucy last night. She's funny; she's like the Jim Carrey of the 1920s or something.
–UA School of Music and Art
20-something preppy kid to mother: You know, they really should have a reality show about Midtown.
–54th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Pedro
Teenybopper #1, giggling and running barefoot: We look like such crack whores!
Teenybopper #2: Yes, that's exactly the look I'm going for.
–Park Slope
Teen #1: If I had rollerblades on, or something, I would totally push that and run.
Teen #2: What?
Teen #1: Her butt.
–E. 116th & 2nd
Overheard by: Her
Teenage boy: We should go hang out in Park Slope.
Teenage girl: No, we shouldn't. The yuppies will run us over with their strollers.
–Long Island City
Overheard by: Sunny
Teeny tiny gay guy: I used to be so skinny in high school.
–Staten Island
Teenage girl to another: I mean, why bother to eat anything if you're just gonna shit it all out?
–L Train
Woman carrying baby to friend: Also, I burn an extra 500 calories a day just by breastfeeding!
–5th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: Tracy
20-something guy, about Sour Patch Kids gummy candy: They're fat-free, so they're good for you!
–4 Train
Six-year-old girl, eating bagel: All of the fat from this is going to go straight to my ass!
–A Train
Overheard by: that's just great
Mousy teen girl: You know, a lot of people say I look like Paris Hilton. They say it's my facial features.
Trendy teen girl: Yeah… You know, even though Paris is really skinny and has big boobs, and that's exactly what guys want, her face is disgusting.
Mousy teen girl, looking down awkwardly: Yeah.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Miss Rach
Teenage tourist boy to friend, gesturing at a gay couple: They're holding hands!
Passing art lover: There's no one holding your hand, sweetheart.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Richard Nixon
