Thug #1, about classes taken in juvenile detention: I took nutrition. It was good, because I want to be in nursing, and it's like…wellness.
Thug #2: Yeah, well, I took culinary. It was sweet, cuz we like, made lemonade and shit.
–Penn Station
Thug #1, about classes taken in juvenile detention: I took nutrition. It was good, because I want to be in nursing, and it's like…wellness.
Thug #2: Yeah, well, I took culinary. It was sweet, cuz we like, made lemonade and shit.
–Penn Station
Teen girl on cell: What?! His name was "food stamps?"
–Outside W 4th St Train Station
Woman waiting in line for a free iced coffee at Dunkin' Donuts: Daaaayum… It's crowded in here, like at the welfare office!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Matt
Thug (seeing the line for Dark Knight: Yo, this is longer than the welfare line!
–42nd St AMC Theaters
Overheard by: Angel
Drunk hobo in seriously bright yellow jump suit: Will you marry me? I got food stamps.
–Broadway, Astoria
Guy on cell: What? Yeahhh, her momma's been on welfare so long her food stamps bounced.
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: nycpuhlease
20-year-old girl on cell: Yeah, I got the dress, it was like $100. I tried on matching pumas and I'm gonna go back to get those tomorrow. Hold on, I have another call.
(pause) Hello? Let me call you back, I'm on my way to pick up my welfare check.
–M2 Bus
Thug: Hello ladies–give me some money, come on, show me what your workin' with!
Girls: Sorry.
Thug: If I had money I'd buy a box of frosted flakes, organic milk and you two on the side. Yeehaaa!
–Keyfoods, 5th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Elspeth Tremblay
Thug: Yo, man! What color are my nipples? What color are my nipples?!
–LaGuardia High School
Teen to friend: Calm yo black nipples! Calm yo black nipples!
–Union Square
Overheard by: hairy pink nipples
Girl to friends: The idea of some machine sucking on my nipples just terrifies me!
–Bathroom, NYU
Overheard by: Trying to pee in peace
Random girl: Yeah, I have like four nipples.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Nameless
Tall beautiful 30-year-old curvaceous brunette in stockings and pumps on cell: I was like: "you're preaching about non-violence and you're touching my nipple!"
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Janusz
Thug: What kinda shoes are those?
Chick in black feather skirt with 5-inch red and white heels: Miu Mius.
Thug: They're pretty.
–Bryant Park Tents
Overheard by: stephie
Thugette #1: Yo, it was mad cold yesterday, son!
Thugette #2: Yeah! The wind chill factor was like 80 degrees, man!
Thugette #1: Yo, it's like global warming, son! Think of what our kids'll be goin' through!
Thugette #2: Yo, if my kid dies, my kid dies.
Thugette #1: You're going to be a terrible mother.
–Stuyvesant High School
Pregnant Latina: So I've been really thinking about what I want, and I want a ranch.
Thug: A ranch? What for?! When you have a ranch you gotta have animals, nigga. It's a whole different kind of struggle.
Pregnant Latina: I just want a ranch.
Thug: Well you better make it a gun ranch.
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: Jenni
Thug on cell: Yo, hearse rent a car? Yo man, I need to rent a hearse. Yeah, I'll hold. (pause) Y'all don't rent no hearses? Why y'all call yoselfs hearse rent a car? (pause) Word? Well, I need to move a body, maybe you got a van or something? (pause) I don't care, I just need to move his dead ass. (pause) Cargo van? Whatever. Yeah.
Thug's friend: Ask if they got am'blances.
–Grand Concourse, 158 St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Angry suit chick on phone: No, I am your second bitch, but I still love you!
–41st St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: That guy has his hands full
Cute activist girl, after extended conversation about Kwame Kilpatrick: I mean, you can't just kill a bitch and expect no one to notice!
–LaGuardia Airport
NYU sudent: She's like one of those fabulous bitches though, you know?
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Me too Honey
Guy on cell: A dog show, like where you pick up bitches!
–23rd Ave, Queens
Overheard by: Xavier
College student to friend: I really want to bump into him. Condescending comes across so much better in person. (pause) And I can't wait to be a sarcastic bitch!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Pola
Ex-con to group of friends: I don't mean shit to a bitch! (looks over at a terrified hipstergirl next to him. He takes off his hat) I mean. I have very little value to most ladies.
–C Train
Overheard by: Tim Roth
Seven-year-old son of thug: I'm gonna be America's Next Top Model!
Thug dad: You kiddin' me?! You a baby. You America's next top baby.
–147th & Fredrick Douglas Blvd
Overheard by: Trixie
