Wednesday One-liners Have Some “Interesting” Beliefs

Old woman: I don’t care what the fuck he says, I was a pirate in my last life, and I was on eight pirate ships!

–Williamsburg

Hobo: She was a…Mormon, no, not a Mormon. A Mormon! No, not a Mormon. What’s that religion that’s against violence? Not a Mormon, not a Mormon…a Quaker! That’s right, you know, a Mormon. It’s a circle of friends so I could just go in there and say, “Hey, I’m a Jew. I am against violence.” And they would wanna be my friends, the Mormons.

–Union Square

Sailor: I can’t believe that stripper stole your book.

–44th & 8th

Overheard by: Doug Singer

Girl: I would have been complimented if he’d been fine…but I believe he was homeless.

–21st & 7th

Overheard by: The Radford

Posted on February 3, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Hobos, Old People, Religion, Union Square and East Village, Williamsburg

That, and I’m a Sociopath

Thugette #1: I can’t believe she said that shit! That shit will get you killed!
Thugette #2: I know, that’s why I’m laughing!

–Union Square

Posted on February 3, 2015
Ghetto Chicks, Talking/Convos, Union Square and East Village

It’s One Of Those Package Tours

Tourist man: And then we can go in there and get raped.
Tourist woman: Yeah. Let’s go get murdered in Central Park.

–5th Ave & 19th St

Posted on February 1, 2015
Murder, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Violence

So You Should Probably Stop Making Out with Her

Hipster girl: You know Mabel’s dead, right?
Hipster boy: [Snickers.]

–9th St & Ave B

Overheard by: Rebecca Katherine Hirsch

Headline by: troy

Runners-Up:

· “And hen I heard about 9/11 I laughed so hard the milk came out my nose” – David Reitmeyer

· “If I Knew You Were Going To Take That Attitude, I’d Never Have Named The Fetus” – ED

· “Stan never thought about the awkward exchange AFTER you put your girlfriend’s cat in the microwave” – alexcalibur

· “There are people named mabel who are still ALIVE?!” – mimi marquez

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on February 1, 2015
Abortion, Body Parts, Death, Food, Gadgets, Headline Contest Winners, Hipsters, Hook Ups, Kink, Manhattan, Names, Terrorism, Union Square and East Village

And I Always Get Stuck with the Bill

Frustrated looking suit: Okay, well, how about the duck? It looks good.
Vapid looking hottie: I told you! I do not eat seafood!

–Gramercy Tavern, Union Square

Posted on February 1, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Birds, Default, Food, Girls, Idiots, Offers and requests, Questions, Stupidity, Suits, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Are What She Said

Conductor: Please stop holding my doors open in the back! (pause, no change) Stop pushing open my doors in the back! (pause, no change) Hey, I don't want no more people squeezing through my openings in the back, okay?

–Q Train

Overexcited tourist dad to little girls: Alright, Jade*, blow the bubbles towards Leah*. Yes, towards her, like facing each other, so I can take a picture… When I tell you, okay? Perfect. Okay, now blow each other.

–Liberty Park

Suit: Well, it's not very large by adult standards, but it's big for what it is.

–Queens

Male office worker: My drawers are getting tight already.

–Broadway

Old woman: Would you like to give a donation to help feed our pussies?

–PETCO, Union Square

Overheard by: Lex

Posted on January 30, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Clerks, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Dads, Height, Kids, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Pictures, Public Transportation, Queens, Sex, Store, Street, Stupidity, Suits, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Afterwards, I'm Heading for the Gay and Lesbian Section

Girl, on escalator: Oh! I'm definitely getting a brownie.
Guy, on escalator: Really?
Girl: Yep, it's going to be full-fat and wonderful!
Guy: You'll eat a brownie, but you won't touch my nuts?

–Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Overheard by: Diane

Posted on January 30, 2015
Balls, Food, Girls, Guys, Questions, Store, Union Square and East Village

I’m More into Authenticity Than Quality Anyway

Suit: Hey, who has the best pizza, you or the guy down the block?
Pizzeria owner: Fuck you!
Suit: I’ll have two slices, please.

–Near Orchard & Houston

Posted on January 30, 2015
Pizza, Suits, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday Sung Liners

Metalhead, playing guitar and singing: Buy some fuckin' poptarts /buy some fuckin' weed/ buy some fuckin' cigarettes/buy everything you need!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: j

Singing hobo pushing cart: I am wiiiise. I am wise!

–Union Square Station

Overly flamboyant gay guy, singing: I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit. (swishes hips while walking)

–11th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Mal Sullivan

Singing gay guy to another, clapping hands in rhythm: You look like a cunt, you act like a cunt, you smell like a cunt, you feel like a cunt…

–2 Train

Overheard by: drew

Hobo, getting into train and taking out electric guitar and amp: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! This song is for the white lady with the orange pocketbook. She reminds me of Martha Stewart…when she got out of jail. (starts singing) 3 train white lady is my girl, my girl, my girl!

–Downtown 3 Train

Overheard by: Jingles

Little girl in stroller, singing happily: Doe, a deer, a hee-hale deer. Ray, a drop of golden pee-pee…

–E Train

Posted on January 27, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Hobos, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Music, Musicians, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Pee, Physical appearance, Prison, Queer guys, Race, Shopping, Singing, Smoking, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Words

The Best Chance Of Getting a Job in This Economy

Girl: It's so good to see you, it's been like two years. What have you been up to?
Guy: Well, I've been playing a lot of Guitar Hero.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Kristin

Posted on January 27, 2015
Girls, Guys, Questions, Time, Union Square and East Village, Video Games

Union Square and East Village