Wednesday One-Liners? Kinky!

300-pound girl on phone: Girl, you showed your whole booty crack? I know, he's into that kinky downtown shit.

–14th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: bastardo

Loud upstate girl: I think…doin' any kinda research inta furries? You're in trouble.

–Hudson & Houston

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Hoochie: I mean, you gonna handcuff me, then handcuff me. But, you know, when I gotta go do my shit, I gotta go.

–1st St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: stephie

Curly-haired girl on cell: I've totally got a cold too! But I've also got bondage tape. And a cell phone activated vibrator.

–Ouidad salon

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Suit to another, while having lunch on bench: You put duct tape on her mouth and you do it from behind.

–Central Park

Guy at table: You know, she's a quality girl, even when I was in handcuffs, I could tell that she was a quality girl.

–Carnegie Deli

Overheard by: Spazz

Posted on March 27, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Body Parts, Cell Phone, Central Park, Delis, Dildos and Vibrators, Fat People, Girls, Guys, Hootchies, Illness, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Questions, S&M, Soho, Suits, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Violence, Weirdness

We Can Spot Fake Wednesday One-Liners a Mile Away

Exasperated woman on phone: It's a phone interview! What does it matter what type of boobs I have?

–Office Building, 32nd & 7th

Overheard by: erkala

Girl, after guy accidentally hit her boob: Ow! You should be squeezing them, not hitting them!

–Toys R' Us, Times Square

Overheard by: Lotte

Upper West Side girl to friend: I hate that my boobs are so big! It completely ruins that skirt for me.

–Canal Street

Hobo: But I don't want to love my breasts!

–Ave B

Man on cell: So you're coming to New York? That's good. I called your mother, she said you're staying with some girl with big tits tonight.

–West 4th Street

Guy to another, while at lunch: I don't care if you think I live too fast and I'll be dead at 45. At least I'll die with a tittie in my mouth!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: sal b

Posted on March 26, 2020
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Body Parts, Bryant Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Death, Foreplay, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Height, Hobos, Men, Office, On Cell, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Rack, Sex, Store, Street, Stupidity, Times Square, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires, Women

They’ve Got Their ‘Good Barista / Bad Barista’ Act Down to a Science

Foreigner: Excusa me, sir, I get the milk, yes?
Barista #1 holding steamed milk: No. You ordered a Doppio. You don’t get no milk in a Doppio.
Foreigner, holding drink out to Barista #1: But the milk?
Barista #1, cradling milk: No! You don’t get no fuckin’ milk! Order a fuckin’ latte, and then I’ll give you some of this milk! You can pour yourself some of that stale shit from over there, but you don’t get none of this milk!

Barista #2 grabs cup and pours the customer some milk.

Barista #2 to Barista #1: Shit, this ain’t Valentine’s Day — don’t you get emotional. It’s some other holiday. Hell, it’s Christmas. [To customer] Here you go, sir! Merry Christmas!

–Starbucks, St. Marks & 3rd Ave

Posted on March 5, 2020
Assholes, Baristas, Coffee, Foreigners, Holidays, Insults, Nice People, Starbucks, Talking/Convos, Violence

Feeling My Bitch Up!

Girl, stung by bee: Ahhh! That motherfucker pinched me!
Boy: I’m gonna kill that nigga bee!

–125th & Broadway

Posted on January 24, 2020
Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insects, Kids, Nicknames & name calling, Violence, Words

Adding Sacrilege to Injury

High school girl: I don't understand what you're upset about.
Middle school boy: She hit me with a friggin' Harry Potter book!

–58th St & 4th Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on January 4, 2020
Books & Writing, Boys, Brooklyn, Girls, Students, Violence

You Should Hear What Puerto Ricans Say About Pride

Queer #1: When is the Puerto Rican Day parade?
Queer #2: Omigod, today!
Queer #1: Hmm. Don’t people get gang-raped at those things?
Queer #2: Maybe, I guess? Let’s go!

–West Side Highway & Jane St

Posted on January 3, 2020
Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Parades & Festitivites, Puerto Ricans, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Village, Violence

Where They Make Us Take a Refresher Course on Ethnic Stereotypes Biannually

Muscular mook with sweet tribal tattoo, driving Toyota Tundra, yelling on cell: Someone stole my fucking knapsack! It had my fucking Merrill's. My Sperry's. If I see someone wearing Sperry's, I will fucking crush them.
Tajikistani cab driver: That is the bad kind of Italian. I should know, I live in Bay Ridge.

–53rd & 9th Ave

Posted on November 17, 2019
Cabbies, Compare/Contrast, Idiots, Insults, Meatheads, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Shoes, Thievery, Threats, Violence

Girl Talk Has Even Fewer Girls Than Barenaked Ladies

Middle aged guy: I keep getting injured at concerts.
Friend: You do?
Middle aged guy: Yeah, like when I fell off the stage at Girl Talk… Well, more like I got pushed.

–E Houston & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: BenRC

Posted on October 4, 2019
Accidents, Friends, Guys, Music, Union Square and East Village, Violence

…Technically, I Don't Even Have Balls.

Three-year-old boy, to dad: I'mma deck you in the balls!
Dad: I'ma deck you back!
Three-year-old boy: Well, it won't hurt!

–125th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Joyful

Posted on August 14, 2019
Balls, Dads, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Parents, Threats, Violence

Girl Talk Has Even Fewer Girls Than Barenaked Ladies

Middle aged guy: I keep getting injured at concerts.
Friend: You do?
Middle aged guy: Yeah, like, when I fell off the stage at Girl Talk… Well, more like I got pushed.

–E Houston & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: BenRC

Posted on July 11, 2019
Accidents, Friends, Leisure, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

Violence

Girl Talk Has Even Fewer Girls Than Barenaked Ladies

Girl Talk Has Even Fewer Girls Than Barenaked Ladies