Girl: And I had to buy my own scalpel, too.
Boy: Well, at least you'll have one now.
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: You never know when you'll need to skin a cat.
Girl: Or a person…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: why do i go to school here?
Girl: And I had to buy my own scalpel, too.
Boy: Well, at least you'll have one now.
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: You never know when you'll need to skin a cat.
Girl: Or a person…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: why do i go to school here?
Guy: I had to yell at her and tell her that she couldn’t be pregnant — I mean, dude, that was last week.
–St. Marks & 3rd Ave
Preggers to male friend: And that asshole came up and body-slammed me on the train platform! Of course, everyone was looking at me like I’m the animal. How can you body-slam a woman who’s seven months pregnant and not feel bad?
–D train
Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan
Preggers to lady pushing to get to cupcake table: Lady, I am four months pregnant. Getting between me and those cupcakes is a really, really good way to lose an arm.
–Magnolia Bakery
Snotty actress: Oh my gosh, she is such a good writer for my acting type. Her script is so like, like — pregnant with promise.
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Emilia
Girl on phone: No, I can’t have sex with you. Because then if I got pregnant I’d have to be like, ‘Whose baby is it? Well, let’s see — is it black, white, brown…?’
–Grand Central Station
British mother to young son: Do you know what I had to eat when I was pregnant with you, Bill? Buns! Buns! Buns! Buns! That’s why you’re mad about buns. [To daughter] And that’s why you like brown things.
–Varick & King St
Young woman to friends: And she keeps getting pregnant, and I’m like, ‘Stop it, woman!’
–Columbia campus
Overheard by: Cheney
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
Little kid: Hey, mom, look! You can see the moon!
Ghetto mom: Shut up! You can't see no moon when the sun out. Sit down 'fore I bust yo little ass!
Little kid: But I can see the moon!
Nice older lady to kid: You're right, honey. You can see the moon when the sun is out. The moon is bright because of the sun.
Kid to mom: See, I told you I could see the moon?
Ghetto mom: That bitch lyin'!
–A Train
Overheard by: innocent mta customer
Disgruntled woman: You know, you could take someone's eye out if you're not careful with that umbrella.
Umbrella-wielding man, cheerily: That is perfectly okay!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Lysa
Kid presses call button on commuter hotline phone.
Father: Why did you do that?
Son: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what it was.
Father: If you do that again the police will arrest you.
Son: Really?
Father: Yes, George Bush will come and take you to jail.
Son: What?
Father: He will kill you and put your picture on the Wall of Memories [Ground Zero feature].
–World Trade Center PATH station
Girl #1 in a rush, slamming door and almost hitting other girls: Oh my god, I'm so sorry!
Girl #2: It's okay…
Girl #3, sarcastically: Oh yeah, it's totally okay. Actually, why don't you open the door harder next time?
–Restroom, 54th St & Ave of the Americas
Overheard by: Ilikecandy
Guy: …and he had, like, shark teeth! Three fucking rows of them! I swear.
–Fulton & Gold
Hipster girl: On the train into the city this morning, I sat on a baby and almost crushed it.
Metal guy: There is no internet acronym for how funny that is.
–Union Square
Overheard by: esther
Man: So I’m just standing there, trying to get the guns from his hands–
Woman #1: Are they registered?
Man: Not in New York.
Woman #1: Ooh, you need to be careful. He could get arrested again!
Man: I know, right? So I have one gun in my hand, and he has the other one, and he’s ready to give it to me when Susan starts freaking out.
Woman #2: Ooh…Did you know that they had a threesome with Trista?
Man: What? What the fuck? Why does he get all the threesomes?
–Carmine’s, 91st & broadway
Overheard by: The Waitress
