Grey’s Wednesday One-Liners

Girl talking to another girl: I like rectal physiology.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: no need to take her to a movie

Fireman, mocking drunk voice and crazy walking: Where are my kneecaps? Has anyone seen my kneecaps? Where the hell did my kneecaps go?

–Times Square

Overheard by: jacki

Man on street talking seriously to friend: And then the lady’s head fell into the toilet bowl.

–White St & W. Broadway

Overheard by: I would have loved to hear the ending of this story..

Guy: It would be better if we could see our own bodies cut up, all laid out on front of us like this!

–Entering the Bodies Exhibition, South Street Seaport

Girl in train: It’s so cold that my ears are freezing their asses off!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Not High, Kumar

Woman at next table: Well, I only get cold sores on my nose.

–The Mermaid Inn, 2nd Ave & 5th

Posted on May 30, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Firemen, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Men, On the Subway, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Science, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weather, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

And If Not, Ask Your Father, If You’ve Got the Balls

Young boy: Mom, what are those two things?
Mom, reading display: That’s your scrotum, right there…
Young boy: What’s a scrotum?
Mom: It’s your… That thing… Oh, you know what it is!

–Bodies Exhibit

Overheard by: Marty

Posted on May 28, 2015
Balls, Kids, Moms, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

That One Guest Seems to Live in the Mirror

Suit #1: So where are you going on vacation?
Suit #2: St. Bart’s.
Suit #1: Are you staying in a house or at a hotel?
Suit #2: A house. God, I hate hotels. Inevitably there will be one guest that irritates me; I’ll see him around at lunch or something. Then I’ll obsess about it, all vacation long.
Suit #1: Yeah.

–Landmark Gourmet, Pearl Street

Overheard by: freshie

Posted on May 27, 2015
Anger Management, Delis, Gripes, Hotels, Suits, Travel, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wednesday One-Liners Are Shameless Pecker Checkers

Suit on cell: I said to him, "If I had my dick out on the bar, you think she wouldn't look at it?" and he kept telling me I owed her an apology, so I said, "Sweetheart, sorry I looked at your pussy." Listen, I gotta get off the train now. I'll call you back.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Pasty

Guy standing at lowered urinal to guy standing at regular height urinal: The low urinal is for the guys with big dicks, so they don't bottom out.

–Roc Restaurant

Guy to group of friends (boisterously): I only date chicks with small hands…makes my dick look huge!

–St. Andrews Bar

Overheard by: allimax

Woman (screaming into phone): Suck my dick, bitch!

–Near Manhattan Mall

Guy shouting into cell: We got a cab. And you can eat a dick.

–Hanover & Water

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are being delayed because some dick is holding the door. We will be moving when the dick takes his arm out the door.

–4 Train

Overheard by: jessie

Posted on May 26, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Bars & Clubs, BJs, Dating, Guys, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, Penis, Public Transportation, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stall Spies, Subway conductors, Suits, Trains Not Subway, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Women

Especially After the Mandatory Sex With Strangers

Tourist choir dude: You'll have to smoke.
Tourist choir chick: No, I won't.
Tourist choir dude: Yes, you have to smoke if you live here.

–Broadway & Wall St

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Posted on May 25, 2015
Default, Girls, Guys, Musicians, Offers and requests, Only in New York, Smoking, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Social Construct

Angry construction worker to befuddled construction worker: Don't look at me like that! Don't say that to me! Go home and fuck my wife, asshole!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jumana

Construction working to another: Man, I need to get me a bi girlfriend. She'd be lovin' me, and I'd be lovin' her friends.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Rich R.

Construction worker, singing: If there's a skeeter on your Peter/whack it off! (claps twice)

–Waverly Place & 5th Ave

Overheard by: steph

Tough construction worker, unloading van: Yo, I was up til like 2 am watchin' Scooby Doo Where Are You!

–Humboldt & Withers

Overheard by: francesca

Construction worker, staring up at construction skyscraper: It's all twisted. It's going to come down.

–Williams St

Overheard by: Sonya

Posted on May 23, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Brooklyn, Construction Guys, Coworkers, Gays and Lesbians, Infidelity, Insults, Masturbation, One-liners, Penis, Penn Station, Promiscuity, Relationships, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Sexuality, Singing, Street, The Village, TV, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners

The Prelude to This Season's Greatest Love Story

Guy to girl singing softly with her iPod: You are the worst singer ever!
Girl: You are the worst faggot ever!

–Starbucks, Wall St & Broadway

Posted on May 21, 2015
Girls, Guys, Insults, Music, Starbucks, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Does a Threesome With Twins Break the Wednesday One-Liner Taboo?

Suit to another: He was just lucky not to be fucking someone in his family!

–Trump Building

Overheard by: Guess I'm lucky too

Gamer on headset: Dude, you are not listening to me. You can't hear me. You know why? Because you have no ears. You're the product of two retarded cousins fucking each other.

–Queens

Girl: He looks like my uncle… the one I'm really attracted to.

–Governors Island ferry

Overheard by: boring

Male passerby: I wouldn't fuck my family, but…

–4th Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: Jessica

British professor wearing bow tie: It's fascinating just how exciting incest is!

–Silver Center, NYU

Posted on May 16, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brits, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Ferry, Girls, Handicaps, Incest, Men, Nerds, NYU, One-liners, Physical appearance, Queens, Questions, Retardation, Sex, Street, Suits, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Whatever Happened to the Simple Days Of Throwing Keys Into a Hat?

Old man: I went to a party the other night–it was a girlfriend-swapping party!
Cook: Oh, yeah?
Old man: I hadda throw in cash!

–Greasy Spoon, Church St

Overheard by: missal

Posted on May 15, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Celebrations/Parties, Money & Class, Old People, Promiscuity, Restaurants & Cafes, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Multitasking, the Next Level

Guy in line to pay, on cell: Hi. I’m calling to say I want a divorce. I keep calling and calling, and leaving messages, and sending you texts, but you never get back to me. So I guess this is it. I’m going to have papers drawn up unless you call me back. Okay, bye.

–J&R Computer Store, Park Row

Overheard by: Just trying to buy a PSP case

Posted on May 14, 2015
Manhattan, Marriage, On Cell, Relationships, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport