Train engineer #1, after train comes to a halt: Uh, I think we might have a problem.
Train engineer #2: Aw, not again…
Train engineer #1: Wait…hold on. Oh, there we go.
(train starts running again)
Train engineer #2: Ah! Such magical fingers you have…
–Metro-North Train
Overheard by: Eve
Jesus freak on subway: We are all sinners. We commit sins everyday. We will all burn in hell.
Woman next to him: I don't feel that way.
Jesus freak: Oh yeah? What do you do?
Woman: I am a doctor.
Jesus freak: Hah! You murder people everyday!
–1 Train
Drunk guy, loudly: Let's go! Let's go and drink and play drinking games!
Comparatively sober girlfriend: Shhhh, honey.
Drunk guy, even more loudly: Oh, who's in my mouth? That's my second favorite game. After Rock Band.
–Elevator, 15th & 7th
Overheard by: Whatever Happened to Scrabble?
Black woman: So he wanted to get married, so I can help him out, and I was all for it, cuz I've know him since I was fifteen, and we're cool like that.
Indian woman: Well, do it then.
Black woman: But then he said he wanted more like a real wife…I can't be anyone's wife, I got me two kids and my baby's daddy might not like it.
Indian woman: Uhhh. Well, then know what you're doing.
–M4 Downtown
Overheard by: Amanda
College bro-dude #1: Man, I really fucked up my arm.
College bro-dude #2: Yeah. You need to get an x-ray.
College bro-dude #1: Man, I knew I shouldn't have fucked a fat chick.
–Clark St, Brooklyn
Black girl #1: I'm only tuning in tonight in the hope Obama accepts the oath of office with a “sho nuff,” then crotch walks down Pennsylvania Avenue.
Black girl #2: Girl, you did not just say that.
Black girl #1: I did.
–5th Ave
Boyfriend: Yeah, I fart in front of you all the time.
Girlfriend: Oh my god! Do you really? I never hear it!
Boyfriend: Oh yeah, I fart constantly. I just hold them in in front of you to be respectful.
Girlfriend: Awwww that's so sweet!
Boyfriend: Yeah, it's like a love story.
–Staten Island Ferry
Security guard to another: I know it's habitual to act retarded.
–Time Warner Security Check
Overheard by: spandangle
Security guard: The door's that way, people. I know that when you see a door you want to go through it–it's human nature.
–Crown Plaza Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: GJL
Female security guard: What does my sexual genitalia have to do with it?
–Brooklyn Library
Little boy: Mommy, mommy, look! They've got security guards! Must be a rich people place.
–86th & Brooklyn
Security guard, after metal detector beeps: Ma'am, would you please remove your wooden bracelet and walk back through the metal detector again?
–Liberty Island
Overheard by: heather linford
Crazy security guard: I have so much gas. I'm going to take all my gas and send it to Iraq and end the war. (gets distracted by a girl walking past with an ice cream cone) Hey, you're stomach's gonna freeze!
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Honest Truth
Security guy to suit: Why do you all feel like congratulating me for his win? Just cause I'm black doesn't mean I should be congratulated. Why do you keep doing that? What the fuck did I do?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pop pop
little boy to father: When are the bad people leaving the White House so Obama can be President?
–Grocery Store, 71st & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Rena
FedEx guy to shipping clerk: Obama's gonna go uptown and say, "that's right, niggas, I'z here!"
–W 26th & 6th Ave
Angry black woman on cell: Excuse me! Obama is our President now and I won't be calling you "massa" anymore. You understand?
–Worth & Broadway
Middle-aged black man sitting at bus stop: Not "yo mama," not "Osama," "Obama!" They should paint the White House black. No…that would be irresponsible. Maybe caramel.
–125th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Nicole
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I want to wish you all a dry, cozy, Obama weekend. Now could you please spare some change for a hungry man? (young black man gives him change) Now that is an Obama voter. (looks around at white people) I will also accept change from McCain voters.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Steph
Guy on phone, announcing to the bar: My baby can say "Obama"!
–Lucky Jack's, Orchard St
Overheard by: Karin
Woman to security guard: Excuse me, did you see a man with a really large package? I'm looking for a man with a large package. Did he come by yet?
–51st St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rob
LIRR worker, yelling over tracks to another who is carrying huge bolt fastener: Hey! Nice nuts!
–Woodside Station
Overheard by: Jobee
Lab instructor, showing students how to breathe carbon dioxide by blowing into the test tube through a straw: Don't blow too hard, or else the whole thing will come up all over your face.
–Biology Lab, Hunter College
Overheard by: did anyone else catch that?
Very old woman to decorative hardware salesman: It's become such a problem–I just can't seem to keep my knobs tight anymore!
–Gracious Home, 67th St & Broadway
Mother waiting for kid in the bathroom: Billy, will you stop singing and just come?
–Waiting Room, Grand Central
