Young Urban Professional Wednesday One-Liners

Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y'know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it's a buddy picture between the little me and the big me.

–14th & 8th

Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? "I have a smack habit, give me money"!

–St. Mark's Place

Yuppie man: If I hear "breast milk cupcakes" one more time…

–Outside Gotham Bar and Grill

Yuppie, thoughtfully: It's not the mustard, it's what the mustard represents!

–Food Emporium, 2nd Ave

Posted on November 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Food, Girls, Grocery Stores, Height, Kids, Men, Money & Class, One-liners, Philosophy, Pictures, Psychology, Questions, Rack, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words, Yuppies

Who Needs a Television When You Have New York?

Deranged woman singing “Greatest Love of All”: “They can't take away my diiiiiiiiignity…”
Passenger: She doing a stripper dance on that pole! Looks like they took her dignity!
Deranged woman: Mommase, mommasa, momma makosa.
Passenger: She bilingual! But she got her dignity back!

–2 Train

Overheard by: never touch the pole

Posted on November 6, 2015
Crazies, Languages, On the Subway, Passengers, Singing, Strippers, Weirdness

There's No Pill for What Wednesday One-Liners Have

Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema…

–50th & 8th

Overheard by: chris

Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal!

–1st Ave & St. Mark's

Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Lola Black

Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.

–W 4th St

20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria.

–Café

Posted on November 1, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Cancer, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Friendship, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Illness, Insults, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Parks, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

How to Get Banned from the Vatican, in One Easy Step.

College bro #1, walking quickly: And then we can cum on the floor!
College bro #2: Yeah, dude! Cum on the floor!

–University Place

Overheard by: Wondering Whose Floor

Posted on October 27, 2015
Cum, Frat Boys, The Village, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners: “Toga! Toga! Toga!”

60-something white woman: They put on a good show. Those Jesuits really know how to party!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jeff

Gay man to others, about parties: Yeah, I thought about going to the black party, but I'm not that gay!

–7th Ave & 6th St

Overheard by: NottRob

Young woman: I'm twenty-seven. I've never been to a party, a sexy party, where I don't remember who I've slept with.

–21st St & Lexington

Overheard by: Jonas

Chick on cell: I can't. It's my cousin's chihuahua's birthday party.

–28th St & Lexington

Overheard by: sounds like a rager

Posted on October 18, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Birthdays, Celebrations/Parties, Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Man's Best Friend, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Orgy, Penn Station, Promiscuity, Queer guys, Sexuality, The Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Women

Isn't Learning About Other Cultures Fun?

(little Asian girl giggles and makes snorting noise)
Park Slope mom to daughter: She's making a pig noise, Charlotte! Can you show her your pig noise?
(little Asian girl snorts again)
Park Slope mom: I think she's going to hock something up.

–F Train

Overheard by: Russ Wall

Posted on October 14, 2015
Animals & Nature, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Default, Moms, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Are Always PC

Young teen girl: I've done cybersex so often I forgot how to type with two hands.

–A Train

Suit on cell: I have nothing to blog about. I have nothing to video blog about. Man, yesterday I had to force myself to tweet!

–Uptown 4 Train

Overheard by: cowgirly

Girl selling peaches to another: Yeah, my dad was so unsympathetic when I told him my computer crashed that I went straight to the Apple store and charged a new hard drive to his credit card. I was really proud of myself.

–Fort Greene Farmers Market

Overheard by: Morning Glory

Teenage girl to friend: I don't see why we're even here. We could see all this stuff on the internet for free.

–Metropolitan Museum

Overheard by: Derek

Posted on October 10, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Computer, Free stuff!, Friends, Girls, Internet, Masturbation, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Sex, Shopping, Suits, Teens, The Met, Visual Art, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Of Wednesday One-Liner!

Dude in full garb on Halloween, clearly losing the argument to his friends: But it's not a foreign object to a pirate!

–East Village

Overheard by: chris k

Girl wearing duct tape cat ears on the fountain in Columbus Circle: I have been crowned the pirate queen!

–Columbus Circle

Guy in business casual to woman in business casual: Yeah, that's the thing about parrots. If they smell smoke and you open their cage, they are outta there. Screw that pirate.

–Uptown 3 Train

Young woman on cell: Those pirates are soooo thin.

–9th Ave & 47th St