Woman: Why you using all that Purell?
Man: I don't want no pig AIDS.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Ben Solomon
Woman: Why you using all that Purell?
Man: I don't want no pig AIDS.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Ben Solomon
Drunk woman: You smell like shit!
Sober 20-something: I took a shower after I went to the gym.
Drunk woman: Did you shower in shit?
Sober 20-something: No.
Drunk woman: Oh.
(pause)
Drunk woman: Are you sure?
–Lafayette & Houston
Overheard by: Luke
Small blonde woman, pointing at pink enamel elephant pin for sale: That's cute.
Shopping companion: Yeah, do we know any Republicans with either breast cancer or the DTS?
–Housing Works, Hudson & 10th St
Cop doing random bag checks to young woman rushing through station: Excuse me, ma'm…
Young woman: (glances at cop)
Cop, backing up: Oh, you're in a hurry. (turns around, woman keeps running, bag unchecked)
–F Train
Woman: Open up my pants, and what do you find?
Man: Bing-bong, it's chlamydia!
–E Train
Overheard by: HappyCamper
(lady with 12-15 hula hoops walks onto subway and sits across a sleepy hobo)
Hobo, surprised: Oh! Why you have all those hula hoops?
Hula hoop lady: Oh, well, I'm a professional hula hooper…seriously!
Hobo: Nah, nah, I see it.
Hula hoop lady: I teach a class with hula hoops.
Hobo: Yeah… (very matter-of-fact) I see the physicality of it. (Hobo gets up and does a gyrating hula hooping motion for five seconds)
Hula hoop lady: Yeah, people really get into it.
–L Train
Overheard by: Rock the Red Sock
Woman #1, watching New York City Gay Men's Chorus rehearse Single Ladies: Does anyone know what this is?
Woman #2: This is a New York moment!
–Symphony Space
Boss: Wait, can I ask a city girl question? Do butterflies come from caterpillars??
–Office, 8th Ave
Overheard by: kpan
Tall blond tourist looking at Egyptian artifacts: So, are these, like, all real artifacts, or like, what? Know what I mean?
–The Metropolitan Museum
Girl to station agent: Can I go the other direction from here?
–W 103rd St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Blonde bimbo: Skydiving…is that the one done on water?
–Jerome Avenue Line
Woman, looking around crowded waiting area: I wonder how many people here are waiting for a train?
–Waiting Area, Penn Station
Overheard by: Not from New Jersey
Woman in elevator, after bumping into Al Roker: Wasn't that Tom Brokaw?
–Fisk Building
Lady shouting into cell: Stop screaming in my ear! Stop screaming in my ear! Stop screaming in my ear!
–Flatbush Ave, Prospect Heights
Overheard by: Ja9
Deli cashier with heavy accent to West Indian man with heavy accent: I don't speak Jamaican! I speak English!
–Crown Heights
Overheard by: Holly
Man on crowd: Stop shoving! There are fucking kids here, watch out, asshole!
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Alexis
Man walking with small kid on cell: Ain't no one cursing at yo! Fuck, why you got to be like that?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Heather
Woman on cell: I just hate for people to hear my conversations in public.
–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th
Overheard by: Nicole
20-something girl to two girlfriends: We've been dating for two months. Normally in my relationships, it's "he loves me, and I love me," but now I feel like he knows I like him, and that threatens me.
–Penn Station
8th grade boy to another: Aren't I the woman in this relationship?
–Bell Academy
Woman to friend: He said he wanted to dress me up, take me out, and show me off to the world. Instead we'd go out, he'd make me pay, and tell me how great everyone else looked.
–3rd Ave & 37th th
Cute guy in Yankees hat: I need a wild, destructive relationship for awhile.
–Brother Jimmy's, 81st & Amsterdam
Guy: Yeah, I just got over a long-term relationship. You know, two to three months.
–Starbucks, 67 & Columbus
Guy on cell: I don't know if I already told you this, but I don't have a job or a show. So we could go a date until the end of time.
–MacDougal & 7th St
Steve Guttenberg to way-too-young date: I like you and I would like to see you, just not every day.
–Upper West Side
