Woman in deli #1: You know who else slept with Micheal Jackson? Corey Feldman.
Woman in deli #2: Who?
Woman in deli #1: You ever see Lost Boys?
Woman in deli #2: Oh right, Corey Feldman…
Woman in deli #2: Wait, which one? There's two Corey Feldmans.
–Delancey & Essex
Woman #1, in clown makeup and garb, being filmed: Do you ever feel you're turning into a fairy?
Woman #2, in similar makeup and trapeze garb: Uh… No, not really. (acts intently interested)
Woman #1: I don't know, I guess… It's like that myth, where the man with the mask… He wears it so often, it becomes his face. (pause) That's me, with my character.
Woman #2: You don't have more than one character?
–Ferryboat, Staten Island
Overheard by: eliza ahern
Woman: So what do you want to do?
Man: Well, we could go to my house, your house, or we could just get it over with and visit Becker at the big house.
–Prince & Mercer
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to take this time to remind you all that there are four doors on this subway. Four doors. So when you’re waiting to board or exit the train and everyone is crowded around one door, just remember that there are four doors. Say it with me now… One… Two… Three… Four… Very good. The magic number for today is four.
–E train
Conductor, to guy trying to hold the doors open at the station: Sir, this is not your train. I repeat, this is not your train.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Firestarter
Conductor: People, this is not an "I think I can" moment! Please stand clear of the closing doors!
–1 train
Overheard by: anna
Female conductor on 3 train, when doors don’t close: In the rear, whatever you have hanging out, pull it in!
–3 Train
Overheard by: J-Mo
Train conductor, to someone blocking the doors: Sure, whenever you’re ready, we’ll move this train out of the station.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Murtwah
Conductor: Please stand clear the closing doors. [beep, doors close. Then they open again]. Please stand clear the closing doors. [beep again, doors close. Then they open again]. Please stand clear the closing doors. [beep again, doors close. Then they open again.] Get yo’ foot out a de do’ foo’!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Nick
Middle-aged woman on her cell: Where are you? Don’t get the pizza, it’s too many calories. Just get a salad or something. Well, I only say that because I had a nightmare last night where you got big. It was awful. Oh, honey, come on I love you, stop.
I’m just saying, if you had a dream that a building was collapsing and a guy was about to walk into it, wouldn’t you say “stop”? Well, then we agree.
–Pax Wholesome Foods, 6th & 40th
Woman #1: I’ve been with him for five years.
Woman #2: Wow. That’s the longest you’ve been with anyone, isn’t it?
Woman #1: Yes…unless you count my two marriages.
–Midtown elevator
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Teen cashier: I’ll need to see some ID.
Female shopper: Ok, here you go.
Teen cashier: [Looks at woman’s driver’s license.] Oh wow, so you’re an organ donor?
Female shopper: Yes.
Teen cashier: Oh my god! Which organ did you donate?
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: rko
Guy: My wife doesn’t like my tattoos.
Woman next to him: I’ve always thought that marriage should be like a driver’s license. You can either renew it after five years… or not.
–F Train
Woman #1: Whose urine is this in the kitchen?
Woman #2: What urine?
Woman #1: The urine in front of the microwave.
Woman #2: That’s not where the urine goes.
–Office, UES
Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.
–Bedford & S 3rd
Overheard by: Rocky
Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?
–Broadway
Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.
–Q Train
Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!
–Ave C & 7th St
Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.
–Rockefeller Center
30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Tom Guest
