Girlfriend: And ya know what? Just fuck you, okay? If that’s what you think, fuck you!
(Boyfriend sneezes)
Girlfriend: Bless you.
Boyfriend: Thank you.
Girlfriend: Awwwww… that’s the nicest conversation we’ve ever had!
–Central Park
Girlfriend: And ya know what? Just fuck you, okay? If that’s what you think, fuck you!
(Boyfriend sneezes)
Girlfriend: Bless you.
Boyfriend: Thank you.
Girlfriend: Awwwww… that’s the nicest conversation we’ve ever had!
–Central Park
Overweight geeky lunatic protester: The perpetual battery will last longer than any of us! The perpetual battery is the answer to all of our energy problems! It will draw its power from the very vacuum of space!
–Union Square South
Overheard by: Percival
Crazy old guy with beard and hat with lots of buttons: Where is the moon? Where is the moon, where is the galaxy? Have you ever seen Men in Black? It's all about the galaxy. The earth is beneath Columbus Circle. The moon is at 64th and Central Park West. If you had to suspend reality, how would you do it?
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Jingles
Professor: Has anybody ever seen a solar eclipse? Anybody, anybody? (silence) No? Well, maybe we were all inside on Facebook when it happened…
–St. John's University, Staten Island
Overheard by: Andrea
Visiting professor, explaining "word salad": Cream cheese to the moon mother, fuckers!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Molly Moo
Obviously sober guy: I know Vikings eat ham, but what about Saturn?
–Rotating Cube Sculpture, Astor Place
Blonde: You cannot eat in space! It sucks you in.
–Union Square
Crazy bag man with hat full of buttons: Where's the moon, where's the moon? If the globe on Columbus Cirlce is the earth, the moon is on 63rd Street West. That is a test of spatial ree-al-uh-tee. How well did you do?
–Uptown 3 Train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Les Izzmore
Friendly white guy to black couple: Where are you people from?
Black chick: What do you mean ‘you people’?!
–Cafe Habana
Overheard by: Ari
Older sister leading younger brother to sanctuary rail before mass: Now, you kneel down and you pray. Fold your hands like this (demonstrates) and now we pray. (begins murmuring “Our Father”)
Little brother (eyes sister anxiously, begins softly singing): A, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l…
Older sister: Are you praying?
–Jerome Ave & Morris Ave
Girl #1: I am so glad I bought those earrings. I am definitely going to find my baby’s father tomorrow night.
Girl #2: It’s not the kind of place to find your baby’s father. You might find your baby’s daddy, but not your baby’s father.
–Broadway & 4th
Overheard by: angela chase
Little girl: I hate Jews!
Mom: What? Don’t you ever say that!
Little girl: What, Mom? I don’t like cheese!
–Uptown 104 bus
Overheard by: Barry P.
Older woman to friend: Down there where the servants are, you know, where the gardening people and the kitchen is, I don't go there. I just don't go there.
–38th & 5th
Overheard by: garden in manhattan?
Greek Princess shopping for wedding rings: This isn't the more expensive ring I wanted but we just bought an apartment in the 70s.
–Tiffany's Second Floor
Overprivileged teenage girl on cell: The bourgeoisie… The bourgeoisie are like, the common people.
–Union Square
College girl: No, I mean seriously: who, by the age of 25, has not been to Rome or Florence?
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Dan
Six-year-old: Mommy, how do you spell "Forbes"?
–Restaurant, Upper East Side
Overheard by: jess
Thug #1: I got pain in my legs and arthritis in my balls.
Thug #2: Damn, you fucked, nigga!
Thug #1: That’s some category 10 pain!
–White Castle, 36th St & 8th
Overheard by: Only in category three pain
Old Friend #1: I can’t believe how long it’s been!
Old Friend #2: Me either. What do you do now?
Old Friend #1: Workin’ down at the docks.
Old Friend #2: You ever see old so-and-so?
Old Friend #1: Yeah, I used to see him all the time once in a while.
–F Train
Customer: Is that banner going to be permanent?
Cashier: For a little while.
–Forbidden Planet
