Ten-year-old tourist girl wearing pink Crocs: Smoking is bad for you!
Smoking queer: Crocs are for retarded kids who can't tie their own shoes.
–50th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Scott
Ten-year-old tourist girl wearing pink Crocs: Smoking is bad for you!
Smoking queer: Crocs are for retarded kids who can't tie their own shoes.
–50th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Scott
(admiring statues next to the Time Warner Center)
Construction worker #1: I like those statues a lot.
Construction worker #2: Steal 'em!
–58th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Stefan Lawrence
Young thug poser: I gotta go to my cousin's house tomorrow. She's always vomiting.
Friend: Yo, she's pregnant!
Thug: Naw, I already told her to take care of that shit, take that Plan B shit.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Katie
Thug on phone: Yo, man, you know that bitch I rent my room from? Those titties are triple F or some shit, man! (pause) How do I know that? Cause I looked through her drawers, that's how! (pause) Cause whenever I talk to that bitch, those things are in my face! I had to find out!
–17th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: redshikari
Dude: I have barometric boobies!
–Jujutsu Class, 13th & 7th
Overheard by: Ladle
Dude to friend: Dude, sometimes you just have to say no to boobs.
–St. Mark's Chipotle
College student: Those tits in that shirt look awful… I wanna see cleavage, not leverage.
–Columbia University
Suit on cell: You should get paid more because of how big your boobs are!
–74th & 3rd
Overheard by: Joanna L.
20-something girl: I don't let people with toes like that into my bed!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: insizlane
Old man on cell: Just tell her to go to Duane Reade and get that shit that puts your urethra to sleep.
–East Village
Overheard by: doctors are so jaded
Woman: My son has a perfect head, it's not flat on no sides.
–44 Bus, Staten Island
(man comes over and pushes down everyone's safety bar)
Woman: My uterus just came out of my vagina.
–Coney Island Cyclone
Guy on cell: …and it's just not Sunday unless you've had your finger in someone.
–Houston & Macdougal
Overheard by: Lish
Middle-aged white guy to younger black woman: Just leave them a message that's like "I woke up from my coma, don't worry. Not that you were worried anyway."
–Nederlander Theater
Overheard by: julia
Girl to friend: Everything was fine until I found out about the warts.
–Broadway & Waverly
Man to friends: All I know is that I was leaving town the next day, so I told her to take some Pepto-Bismol or Robitussin or whatever because I was gettin' some that night for sure!
–Bodega, 22nd St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Doug Tischler
Teenage black girl, within a group of friends: Them kids with autism, they be havin' mad skills!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: r. faith
Male yuppie: If she comes back with cold sores, I'll know who to go to.
–San Domenico Restaurant, East 26th St
Girl: Rabies is my biggest enemy.
–Bellerose, Queens
Girl eating chocolate cake to woman in next cubicle: Oh my god, this is so good–I think even you would eat this cake.
Woman in next cubicle: I don't eat nothing coming off of Long Island.
–Random NYU Administration Office
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Old obnoxious wife: Why is this set so dumpy? It's not a real set.
Old obnoxious husband: I think it might be ironic… It says “Look! We're on Broadway with a dumpy set!”
Young obnoxious girl in front of them (obviously a fan of the show): That's kind of the point. It's four chairs and a keyboard. And that's all they need to be successful. If you pay attention to the show, you'll find this out.
Old obnoxious husband: Oh, well… that's… poetic.
Old obnoxious wife: It's still dumpy!
–Lyceum Theatre, W 45th St
Crazy bag lady in Burger King crown: Oh look, you broke your shoe, and you're pregnant.
Hugely pregnant woman: Yes.
Crazy bag lady in Burger King crown: Well bitch, just go to the ATM, get $20, and get a new pair of shoes. White folks got all the money.
Hugely pregnant woman: (silence)
Crazy bag lady in Burger King crown: You know what? God broke your shoe. He broke it cause you hate black people.
Hugely pregnant woman: Umm, this is my stop.
–2 Train
Overheard by: courtney
Latina: I don't care what a guy says, I'm not gonna let him piss on me.
–Vesey Street & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam
Giggling four-year-old boy: Yeah, and there was a sign and it said, "Caution: someone peed here!"
–Waverly & W 11th
Bimbo: And he was like, "Sarah, you pissed the bed" and I was like, "Whaaaaat?" and he was like, "Sarah, get up, you pissed the fucking bed!"
–Theater District
Overheard by: Paul
Girl on cell: Alright, fine, but if you pee on me again, we're done!
–C Train
Overheard by: Laura
Guy, in disbelief: You mean you've never been pissed on before?!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh
Girl: Would it be considered indecent exposure if I peed in the sink?
–Lyceum Theatre
Girl to friend: Her?! She totally splashes her urine.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Ellen
