Male barista: Sorry, we're closed.
20-something girl: Can I get a tea bag to go?
–Café, Washington Square Park
Male barista: Sorry, we're closed.
20-something girl: Can I get a tea bag to go?
–Café, Washington Square Park
Tourist mom with mullet, trying to take a picture of cute five-year old boy: Stand by the testicles, honey. Stand by the balls!
–Wall Street Bull
Overheard by: oh tourists
Suit to street vendor: You spend the money and get blue balls…
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Colin
Guy on cell: Fucking shit! What the fuck? This fucking shit is fucking messed up! (pause) Whatever, mommy… just get me a large, it'll give me more room for my balls.
–97th St & Madison Ave
Big guy in chair on sidewalk to friend: So, I ate a pair of balls last night. Lamb balls. Hot and spicy.
–Heath St & 231st St
Overheard by: Km
Ghetto man to Dunkin' Donuts cashier: Yo, how much is da balls?
–W 148th & Broadway
Big guy on phone: … All I’m sayin’ is that’s wrong, man — you hit an ol’ woman, and you’re a boxer!
–151st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Thin walls
Guy on cell: So, wait — you punched her or slapped her? In the face?! Oh. Ow… Yeah, that’s still not appropriate.
–N 6th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: j
Angry guy on cell: This guy laid a fucking warrant on me for beating up crackheads!
–168th & Fort Washington Ave
Overheard by: RR
Five-year-old girl to seven-year-old brother: I’ll punch your Adam’s apple straight down your throat!
–Graham Ave bus station
Black girl on rising escalator, to friend: If he says anything to me, I’m gonna kick him in the ding-ding and then run!
–Broadway East station
Overheard by: Subwaysurfer
Preppy girl: I really loved that movie. I thought it was titillating… And not just because there was cock and balls. I don’t care about that.
–Third Avenue
Guy to self: Brokeback mountain… Starring Hillary Clinton!
–Herald Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Worst Movie Ever
Doofette: I mean like I know it got the Oscar and all, but I thought "No Country for Old Men" was pretty boring. I have to admit though the choreography was amazing.
–SoHo
Thug, peddling pile of DVDs: Ghetto Blockbuster! I am your ghetto Blockbuster! I got movies, CDs, porno. [Another group of customers walks in.] I got that action, comedy, romance and I got that pussy! I am your friendly neighborhood ghetto Blockbuster.
–24 Hour McDonalds, Water & Moore
Overheard by: BigKahuna&BigRed
Creepy hipster: You’d think you can’t have sex to "Silence of the Lambs"…
–Huron St, Greenpoint
Overheard by: sweetchuck
Dude on cell: If you like murder, you’re gonna love this movie!
–48 Bus
Man #1: That's tough…
Man #2: Yeah. It's like asking your girl to lick your balls. There's no nice way to do that.
–Steinway St
Overheard by: Jake Blaxwell
Thug #1: I got pain in my legs and arthritis in my balls.
Thug #2: Damn, you fucked, nigga!
Thug #1: That’s some category 10 pain!
–White Castle, 36th St & 8th
Overheard by: Only in category three pain
Girl: What kind of fur can we use that is only shaved and doesn't hurt the animals, like shearling, and not skinned?
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Anonymous
Man to ladies: So, I walk in the room and I see one guy shaving the other guy's balls.
–Forest Hills, Queens
Overheard by: CandyPerfume
Guy to girl: I just shaved my balls and now I'm itching all over.
–Houston St
Overheard by: pubey-free
Guido #1: Yo, your team hasn't won a playoff in ten years. Maybe not this year, but the Jets are going all the way to the Super Bowl.
Guido #2: Yeah, and if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle. (pause) If my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.
–1 Train
Overheard by: DZB
Guy: Do you have any Irish Spring soap?
Cashier: No, I don't know what that is.
Guy: Irish Spring soap! To wash your balls with! Don't you wash your balls?
–Grocery, Flatbush Ave
Overheard by: Diana
Middle-aged woman to another: Oh! Look at those nuts, Theresa!
–Holiday Market, Union Square
Four-year-old girl, holding giant lollipop: Daddy, look! It's so big I can't get my mouth around it!
–Gristedes, University Place
Overheard by: M
Girl to friend bending down to pick something up: You are now the official bender in this relationship.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman reading menu outside: I love fish tacos!
–Chavela's, Prospect Heights
Overheard by: zack g.
Girl on cell: Well, my mouth is really small, you know? So I needed something really wide to hold it open.
–1st Ave & 5th St
Overheard by: Asaywhat
