Girlfriend: My shoes are killing me.
Boyfriend: If you don't stop I'll have to punch you in the cunt.
Girlfriend: Would you even know where to find it?
–East Village
Overheard by: C
Girlfriend: My shoes are killing me.
Boyfriend: If you don't stop I'll have to punch you in the cunt.
Girlfriend: Would you even know where to find it?
–East Village
Overheard by: C
Girl to friend: I can't believe you broke a nail on your own ass hair!
–Church & Chambers
Three-year-old boy to another: I like you but I don't like your baby because your baby grabbed my hair.
–Central Park, Great Lawn
Girl: Oh, I'm so glad this is all working out. (gets up and sees her reflection) Fuck! Why didn't you tell me my hair looked like a dead beaver?
–Prince St Cafe
Overheard by: It DID
Black woman to infant held by her mother: Where did you get all of that hair? I want some of that hair. (pats her head) This ain't my hair, I could really use yours.
–Harlem Polling Station
Overheard by: Joe
Girl yelling into cell: He's not even hairy!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Well then why do they call him that?
Chick: I thought we were made for each other, but he's too bearded.
–113th St
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I'll take him!
–26th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: your mom
Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.
–D Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Girl on cell: All I'm saying is: don't jump on the first penis that comes along!
–Broadway
Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.
–5th Ave
Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for "penis" in the first scene!
–Junior High School
Overheard by: gabygrillz
Security guard #1: Yes sir, yes sir, I am definitely gonna put my pimp foot forward, yes sir, and then I'm gonna go home and change into my Superman outfit…and drink some coffee. Yes sir!
Security guard #2: Mmhmm!
–116th & Amsterdam, Columbia
Overheard by: camillia*
Boy: Oh man, my foot really hurts.
Mom: Well maybe if you weren’t such a dumbass it would get better.
–Columbus & 5th
Young woman: Do you see this line on my face?
Friend: What line?
Young woman: This line. I must have got it from my internship. (pause) I think it's from… thinking. But I called my plastic surgeon, and he's totally gonna fix it.
–Columbia University
Hobo: Spare some change for the fucking poor? Yeah, that’s right, you fucking chinks. Fucking slanty-eyed flat-assed bitches! Suck my ass!
Asian woman: He said my butt was flat!
–114th & Broadway
Gangster into cell: Hold your hand up like a antenna, and maybe your budget-ass phone would work.
–E 5th & 2nd Ave
Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest!
–MoMA
Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society.
–NYU
Hipster in rainbow moonboots: So I say to this girl as I’m roofie-ing her juice box…
–Union Square
Overheard by: eliza
Hipster chick on cell: Hello? Hey! Guess what? I found my underwear!
–1st Ave
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Hipster: I mean, you can’t just rock a sombrero and think that it’s cool.
–6th & 10th
Overheard by: El
Hipster chick to tourist friends: … And across the street is where Albert Greenberg lived for a while.
–E 2nd St, across street from Allen Ginsberg’s former walkup
Overheard by: midtown_strangler
Hipster chick: I wanna create a website: Nine-Eleven — get over it.
–4 train
Overheard by: Hurtz donit
Man: I need the number for an ear doctor.
Woman: An ENT?
Man: Yeah, an ENT.
Woman: Why? What happened?
Man: In '86, I got hit in the head with brass knuckles.
–6 Train
