14-year-old girl: I'm gonna kick her ass so hard her lip will be on his placenta.
Teenager group of friends, shouting: Yeah, kill that bitch.
–Times Square
14-year-old girl: I'm gonna kick her ass so hard her lip will be on his placenta.
Teenager group of friends, shouting: Yeah, kill that bitch.
–Times Square
Dude: Can you stick out your freakishly long tongue again?
Chick: Only if you promise not to put a macaroon on it.
–Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: it really was freakishly long
Skinny pale male hippie with hair in top knot, to friend, calmly: I'm going to lose my brain. A piece of my brain.
–E.11th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Liz
Man on cell: Yeah, he crossed the line. Then, when he started talking about my wife's anatomy I was just disgusted.
–31st Parking Garage
Thug, about his baby son: So, I'm lookin' at this kid. I be lookin' at him real hard. He got everything I got! Square head, the shoulders, the flat feet, everything! Straight down to the penis!
–Staten Island Ferry
Out of towner to friend: I just want to let you know your armpit is making my wrist very warm right now.
–3 Train
Overheard by: there are worse places you could put that, I guess…
Man to friends: He empties his mind into your face.
–5th Ave & 11th St
Flea: I eat four boxes of blueberries a day; it makes my cock big.
–Randall’s Island
Overheard by: AJIN
Punk #1: I knew this guy once, he had the fetus of his identical twin attached to his shoulder.
Punk #2: I'd cut it off and make a yo-yo out of that shit.
–Rivington & Essex
Guy #1 peeing in urinal moans loudly.
Guy #2 peeing in urinal: You ok, man?
Guy #1 peeing in urinal: God, I should have used a condom!
–28th & 10th, Crobar
Guy #1: The girl with the tattoo on her breast.
Guy #2: Oh yeah, yeah. She got a huge booty. That shit be a jigglypuff.
Guy #1: Yeah, for real. I just wanna grab that shit.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she got hairy legs.
Guy #1: You seen ’em?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, she showed me.
Guy #1: But, you know, it’s winter. Girls be gettin’ sloppy in wintertime.
Guy #2: I don’t care, man. That shit’s atrocious.
–4 train
Girl #1: You never wear earrings.
Girl #2: You’re very observant.
Girl #1: But that’s why we have ears, to get them pierced.
Girl #2: No, we have ears so we can hear.
Girl #1: Wait, you make no sense.
–E 16th & Ave U, Sheepshead Bay
Girl: Damn, when my grandmother see me in this, she gone have a strizzoke!
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
Teen boy #1: Heather got raped.
Teen boy #2: What?
Teen boy #1: She got drunk and he took advantage of her. She told me. She got curvy lips, though.
–Brooklyn Public Library
Overheard by: caitlin
