Guy on cell: Well, I love you. Hit that little Jewish kid in the back of the head, and I love you.
–St. Mark's
Guy to girl: Yeah, yeah, totally. I love turning nouns into verbs.
–Grahm Ave & Conseleya
Overheard by: Minna
Girlfriend to boyfriend: I love it when you goat me.
–95th St & Broadway
Overheard by: John
Staples manager to coworker: I love these staples!
–Staples Store
Overheard by: venniblue
Guy to girlfriend: Reacharound equals love.
–11th St & 3rd Ave
Doofy man: My stripper friend has a tattoo on her back.
Woman: Oh, really..?
Doofy man: Yeah, and she said you can only understand it if you do me from the back. (laughs)
–Inwood Dog Park
Overheard by: infinite
Woman to man pushing her out of her seat: Excuse me!
Man: I'm sorry, sweetie, where are my manners? Why don't you come back and sit on my lap?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Kristin
Young Jersey gay boy going to pride parade: Oh my god, my thighs are so pasty. And hairy!
Friend: Yeah, it's like someone cut their hair over a bowl of sour cream.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: JBe
Whiny tween: Daddy, I just got hit in the eye.
Yuppie dad: Oh! You did? Who hit you in the eye?
Tween and mom: Mommy did.
–Prospect Heights
Overheard by: Andrea
Teenage boy: You know, if you think about it, violins are basically just giant condoms.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Older man on cell walking two giant dogs: She has a great body… When she sits, it's like a German violinist.
–Thompson Square Park
Mother to young daughter: Even if she was tired and cranky, she still shouldn't have hit you on the shoulder with a violin.
–Ave A & 6th St
Woman on cell: Let's go see the one about the transsexual violinists. (pause, yelling louder) Violinists! The transsexual violin players. Violin! (pause) You didn't say "violin"? Just transsexuals? (pause) Did you say "violence"? (pause) No? (pause) I'm not hungover!
–J Train
Woman #1: Naw, he got a cabbage head like his father.
Woman #2: Like you, too?
Woman #1: Nuh-uhn. I got a turtle head.
–F Train
Overheard by: Doug Brandt
Hipster girl to friend: I told her it was the wrong kind of plaid. Not all flannels are equal.
–Bowery & Bleecker
Overheard by: but lumberjacks are supposed to be burly men!
Hipster to another: And I was like "Do you want some nail polish for that camel toe?"
–2nd Ave
Overheard by: Shan
Hipster guy singing to self in country twang: Whennnn am I gonna get me sommmme Ugg boooooots?
–4th Ave & 13th St
Hipster guy in eyeliner and mascara: I was being facetious… I would not wear leggings.
–Jamba Juice, 13th St & University
Overheard by: helenathegreat
Hipster girl screaming on cell: I want you to want me to want to touch you!
–Columbus Circle
Girl with Obama pin: Oh my god, I can't believe I spent this whole night hanging out with a Republican!
–104th St & Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Emily
Guy to friends: There's only one thing I want him to shove down my throat, and it's not his Republican ideals.
–43rd & 8th
Gov't. Teacher: Sometimes you wanna smack a moderate.
–Curtis High School, Staten Island
Overheard by: jules
Woman: I blame McCain for the snow.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Philip & Richard
Very upset girl to no one in particular: But nobody would ever fuck my eyelashes!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Boy to another: He said he had to go and get a colon autopsy!
–84th & 3rd
Overheard by: Laura
Woman to husband: And I swear, she only has half an eye!
–Times Square
Older dude in sweater vest: It was considered the Rolls Royce of organs.
–111th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Middle aged man walking his dog at night: She had a shamrock on her face and a shamrock on her butt.
–West End & 77th St
Girl to another: Are you going to be upset if he has short arms?
–University Place
