Teen girl: You know, they should have wet t-shirt contests but with legs.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Katwoman
Teen girl: You know, they should have wet t-shirt contests but with legs.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Katwoman
Mom, to two small children: I think it is better to be born with no legs than to be born with two and have them taken away.
–11th St & 8th Ave
Laundromat owner: She think she know everything! If he love her so much, why’d he go get that other girl pregnant two months after she lost her leg?! He should be giving her a baby!
–Laundromat, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Suparna
Little boy, to passerby: That’s why I ejaculated in your mom’s nose!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Chick: See, I don’t like the idea of drinking semen not directly from the cock.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Father: This is what the brain looks like. It’s the least used part of the human body.
Wide-Eyed daughter: Really?
Father: It sure seems that way sometimes, doesn’t it?
–Bodies Exhibit, South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
South Bronx gangster #1: Yo, damn, look at that Asian girl, son!
South Bronx gangster #2: You ever been with an Asian girl?
Gangster #1: Nah, son, you?
Gangster #2: Nah, yo, but I heard them pussies is sideways!
Gangster #1: What?! Sideways?!
Gangster #2: Yeah, son, sideways. They pussies is siiiideways!
Gangster #1: Shit, I gotta try and get with one now.
–the Bronx
Overheard by: Scullface
Guy: My eye won’t stop twitching.
Girl: Maybe you should have thought of that before you wiped sarin on the counter. Oh, oops, I just realized that the subway is a bad place to talk about work.
–E train
Skateboarder on cell: I was just at the spot and there was no car. Fuck, I know what a car looks like and it wasn’t there. Are you sure it was a white Lexus? Fuck you, it wasn’t there. I got eyes, you know. Well then fuck off and go buy your own damn drugs!
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Girlfriend: Out in LA they’re into that whole fake boobs/Ann Taylor thing.
Boyfriend: I love Ann Taylor.
Girlfriend: Of course you do. That fits into your preppy short girl fetish, which I’m not.
–Brooklyn-bound D train
Girl #1: Ben’s hot, but I think he’s gay.
Girl #2: No way. Why?
Girl #1: He asked me if my carpet matches my drapes.
Girl #2: I don’t think he’s gay.
Girl #1: Oh yeah?
Girl #2: Call him up and tell him he can chew on your carpet!
Girl #1: What?
–Central Park
Girl: I did, I saw Uma Thurman in Les Mis.
Guy: She wasn’t in Les Mis.
Girl: Not on stage, on TV.
Guy: She wasn’t in Les Mis on TV.
Girl: I thought it was her, or someone else with that cross-eyed look.
–42nd & 8th
