Wednesday One-Liners Built the Tower of Babel

Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?

–14th & University

Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.

–Walker & Lafayette

Overheard by: Wolf

Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.

–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: nosy cinephile

Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.

–13th & University

Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?

–Office, W 36th St

Overheard by: Evan

Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.

–Tea Lounge, Park Slope

Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!

–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport

White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?

–Walgreens, Union Square

Overheard by: Goldie

Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.

–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St

Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!

–Tompkins Square Park

Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.

–Century 21

Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!

–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th

Overheard by: Shaina

Posted on August 9, 2006
Africans, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Asians, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Brooklyn, Cashiers, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinatown, Death, Fashion, Foreigners, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, History & Geography, Hobos, Japanese, JFK Airport, Kids, Latinos, Manhattan, Men, Mexicans, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, Parents, Park Slope, People, Places, Pop Culture, Private Parts, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Students, Suits, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Venues, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People, Women

If All Goes Well, You

Transparent guy: That’s why gay guys are the best.
The straight man: How so?
Transparent guy: Gay guys are just bags of hormones. If they want sex, they just ask for it. Girls are like, “Let’s all play coy and innocent!”
The straight man: I never thought of it like that.
Transparent guy: Gay guys are like, “Put your balls into my butt” kinda thing.
The straight man, laughing: Yeah, if I was gay I’d probably have sex all the time.
Transparent guy: Me too…Like just go out…find some gay dude… and touch his balls.
The straight man: Dude, what are you on?

–Tribeca

Overheard by: Nozomi

Posted on August 6, 2006
Backdoor, Body Parts, Drugs, Gays and Lesbians, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Spare the Rod and Spoil the Wednesday One-Liners

Little boy, waiting in line to see “Bodies” exhibit: Are there gonna be rides?

–South Street Seaport

Little girl, playing with her inattentive mother’s cell: Nine… One…

–Atlantic Center, Brooklyn

Overheard by: wee e

Little girl, humming to herself: Cat cat dog, I am a tree! Eeeee! Minute Maid Coke, I am a poodle! Eeeee!

–Brooklyn bound Q train

Little boy: Eddie, I like that torture a lot!

–Dizzy’s, 9th St & 8th Ave, Park Slope

Little girl: Mom, I am highly disappointed in the construction.

–71st Rd, Forest Hills

3-year-old girl: Daddy, does this helmet make me look crazy?

–13th & University

Little boy: Simon says reach into everybody’s pants!

–Waiting room, Mt. Sinai Hospital

Overheard by: Jobee

Posted on August 2, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Hospitals, Kids, Lower Manhattan, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Queens, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Upper East Side, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

It Was a Little Hard to See in Your Mouth, Cynthia

Girl #1: I noticed his abs.
Girl #2: I noticed his ripped shirt.
Girl #3: Wait, so neither of you noticed his huge erection?

–F train

Overheard by: Michelle

Posted on July 30, 2006
Body Parts, Girls, On the Subway, Penis

Nah, I Prefer the Old-Fashioned Amputee Ones

Teen girl: You know, they should have wet t-shirt contests but with legs.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Katwoman

Posted on July 21, 2006
Bimbettes, Body Parts, Bryant Park, Clothing

Wednesday One-Liners Don’t Have a Leg to Stand on

Mom, to two small children: I think it is better to be born with no legs than to be born with two and have them taken away.

–11th St & 8th Ave

Laundromat owner: She think she know everything! If he love her so much, why’d he go get that other girl pregnant two months after she lost her leg?! He should be giving her a baby!

–Laundromat, Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: Suparna