Jewish senior girl #1: My grandpa died. His name was hymen!
Jewish senior girl #2, laughing: Your grandpa's name was hymen! (pause) Wait… my grandpa's name was hymen. My hymen died.
Jewish senior girl #1: (silence)
Jewish senior girl #2: I meant my grandpa.
Sophomore boy: I feel like I just sinned.
–Bx10 Bus
Overheard by: luckily yom kippur was coming up
Hipster boy to friend: I don't know if they're the best band to be playing with, because they're like a gypsy rock n' roll punk band, you know?
Friend, tiredly, knowingly: Oh, yeah.
–F Train
Overheard by: Tricia
Drunk thug, reflecting on his baby-mama's new man: I love motherfuckin' guns, and that's the bottom line, but I don't wanna go to jail.
–Bar, Cortelyou Road
Boy to limping blonde struggling to keep up: Oh my god, if you were a horse I would shoot you.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: The Game
Father to two small children, pulling them away from the register: C'mon, guys. Let's go before mommy shoots herself.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th & Broadway
Loud black girl: It's Manhattan, I don't have to worry about getting shot.
–NYU
Guy on cell: Hey man, aren't you tired of being shot?
–Queens Center Mall
Asian lady to young son: You're so cute!
Son: I know.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: He really was
Girl #1: You called me a cow!
Girl #2: You called me a cow five times!
Boy: Why do girls fight? I mean, like, boys never fight.
–Central Park
Overheard by: boysfight
Girl: So then I said "mother, I am 20 years old and you cannot tell me I can't go to Wet 'n Wild!"
–Central Park
Overheard by: Quella
Weird chick: Eeeeek! That toilet is flooding! My Payless shoes are getting wet! My beautiful Payless shoes! All this water looks like that movie, The Blob! Oh, I hate you, Steve McQueen! I hate you, I hate you!
–Women's Restroom, Port Authority
Overheard by: Amber Star
Drunk girl to drunker friend who spilled beer on her lap: Again with the vaginal wetness?
–LIRR
Guy to a girl in laundromat: Why can't you dry your underwear? Is that because they're so used to being wet when you're wearing them?
–1st. Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: Mike
Girl to boy: So about this whole wet dream thingy…
–C Train
Red-headed boy: I like your nose.
Brunette girl: Okay.
Red-headed boy: It's like “ah! I'm a nose!”
–R Train
Boys in group, walking past novelty shop: Booong! Booong! Booong!
Irate friend: That's not a bong, that's a dildo, dumbass!
–6th Ave & W 4th St
Overheard by: theincredilbong
Preteen emo boy #1: What's “gonorrhea”?
Preteen emo boy #2: An STD.
Preteen emo boy #1: Seriously? I thought it was a species of fish!
–Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum
Boy to girl: Hey, when you die, can I have your body?
Girl: To do what with?
Boy: Um…
–Cafeteria, The Bronx
