Boy holding food on stick at street fair: Want some, grandpa?
Grandpa: What is it?
Boy: Chocolate covered banana.
Grandpa: No, no, no! A thousand times no!
–64th St & Broadway
Overheard by: hannah g-pa
Boy holding food on stick at street fair: Want some, grandpa?
Grandpa: What is it?
Boy: Chocolate covered banana.
Grandpa: No, no, no! A thousand times no!
–64th St & Broadway
Overheard by: hannah g-pa
Thug selling rap CDs on the corner to nervous Asian boy walking by: Yo, man, you know you want a CD.
Nervous Asian boy: (keeps walking)
Thug, hitting Asian boy on shoulder: You better buy a fucking CD.
Nervous Asian boy: No, thank you. (begins walking faster and turns to friend) You know, I could really see being friends with that guy.
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kay
Girl, drawing: Should her shoes be open-toed or close-toed?
Boy: Close-toed. Like ballet shoes.
Girl, seriously: You mean platform ballet shoes?
Boy: There's no such thing as platform ballet shoes. You can't do ballet in platforms. This is why disco died, Anne. Everybody fell over.
–Midtown
Overheard by: Sunny
Excited mother to son, watching Egypt exhibit: Oh, look, honey, those are esophaguses!
Embarrassed father, whispering: Sarcophaguses.
–The Met
Overheard by: KeaKea
Boy at Chinese restaurant, looking at food: Is that a crab?
Girl at other table: That's what she said!
–Canal Street, Chinatown
Overheard by: eric
Man on cell: My identity has totally shifted, and so have my bowel movements.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Mickey Smith
Girl to another: I took a shit in Starbucks… did you take a shit in Starbucks?
–Outside Starbucks
Woman to friend: There were no feces for (pause) two days.
–Canal and W Broadway
Overheard by: LizzieD
Girl in toilet stall, repeatedly: Someone pooped on the floor! This is so gross! Medieval freaks! And it's shaped like a dragon! Come here and look at it!
–New York Renaissance Fair
British woman to man she's walking with, as they look at a pigeon: Of course he doesn't have to sit down to poo, he's a bird!
–Washington Square South
Enraged crazy old lady feeding pigeons, to punk kid chasing pigeons: Eat the caca! Eat the caca!
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: ShaghouseGirls
Ghetto fabulous sister to another, walking out of bar: You gotta be a classy ho! Bitch!
–Fulton & Lafayette, Brooklyn
Woman on cell: No! He wants a fight and I'm going to fuck her up! I'm going to snap that bitch in half! (pause) I will snap that bitch in half! (pause) Okay, I love you too. (hangs up) Oh, she messed with the wrong bitch!
–27th St, between 6th and 7th
Overheard by: Hungry
Blonde yelling on cell: I was not being a bitch or picking a fight! I was saying "I love you, and these are my concerns"!
–27th St b/w Park Ave & Lexington
Overheard by: V
Girl to another: That's when I knew I was a bitch. My homegirl got kicked in the head by a ho… and I laughed!
–Coney Island Ave & Newkirk
30-something suit: I just need a bitch with an accent!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: CourtSnort
Mom to son, after looking through his phone: Who is in your phone as b-i-t-c-h?
–M60 Bus
Overheard by: Jingles
Young boy: Papa, did you kill grandfather?
Dad: No, I did not kill your grandfather.
–63rd Drive, Rego Park
Overheard by: Beatrice
Boy with mother, petting stranger's dog: What kind of dog is this?
Mom: A very expensive dog, honey. It's a Rhodesian Ridgeback.
–16th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Lolo
