12-year-old boy #1, holding tomato: What should we do with this?
12-year-old-boy #2: It's our tomato. We can do anything we want with it… Except have sex with it.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Avi
12-year-old boy #1, holding tomato: What should we do with this?
12-year-old-boy #2: It's our tomato. We can do anything we want with it… Except have sex with it.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Avi
Girl #1: That looks like your wedding band.
Guy: Yeah, it could be mine.
Girl #2: What?
Guy: Two months after we got married, I threw my wedding band into the ocean.
–Brooklyn Flea Market
Overheard by: Ferris
Man with entourage: So I killed one just before I went to sleep. (entourage laughs) Yeah, and I left it on her ceiling as a warning.
–Bleecker & Broadway
Dude walking down street: And if I kill him, I'm certified to bring him back to life…
–Brooklyn
Old man to another: You know, I don't even give a shit if I die anymore!
–E 84th St
Girl to friend: Why would you put the poison in milk?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michela
20-something guy: Fucking corduroy! I've gotta tell ya, I fucking love corduroy! I swear to god, I'd kill for corduroy!
–J.Crew Men's Store
Overheard by: Pedro
Guy to girlfriend: How can you be really scared for 2012 when you thought it was 2013?
–Franklin & Eastern Parkway
Seven-year-old boy on bike, turning corner into small white dog: Shoooooooooooot son, that dog just scared the black out of me!
–Nostrand Ave & Prospect Pl
Overheard by: melyssalaree
Crazy guy, after screaming unintelligibly in 20-something's face: It's cool, I'm supposed to scare people! I'm the anti-Christ!
–Ave A b/w 5th & 6th St
Girl: I'm really scared I'm gonna be a sex addict. Like, I'm hoping it won't happen, but it probably will.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Man dressed in briefs, on Halloween, to policeman: I want you to arrest me! She didn't listen to me! I want you to arrest me right now!
–W 17th St
Overheard by: The Girl in Vintage Formal
Slightly buzzed 40-something man, in very loud hushed tone: I know your son is in jail! Isn't he?
–Mid-Manhattan Library
Man to another: They let him go because my daughter couldn't identify him. But now she got glasses.
–Ave B & 6th St
Overheard by: Miss V
Agitated man, yelling into cell: I don't love you. I hate you. I did ten years and got seven felonies for you.
–Brooklyn
Girl to another: So I wrote "we're being kidnapped' on a piece of paper and pressed it against the window.
–Famous Famiglia, 111th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Lucy
High school girl: That nigga just got *out* of jail. That reminds me, I need to go to Bushwick.
–Grand St & Bushwick Ave
Overheard by: rpk
Girl, as friends individually dart across street: The drunks go marching one by one, hooray, hooray!
–49th & 2nd
20-something blonde on cell outside bar: Are you drinking tonight? If not, I just want to see where you're at. Yeah, I'm drinking. I told you there's nothing I wouldn't do with you!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: maria
Girl on cell: I really miss being hungover with you. Some of my best moments were spent hungover with you…
–Union Square
Overheard by: winkinthecity
Girl, getting out of car: Man, I can't drink no more, but I tell you, I feel fiiiiiiinnneee. (girl gets back in car, which drives away)
–69th St & Narrows Ave
Overheard by: Domi
Youngish guy to youngish gal: Well, that won't stop her, she can drink through the window!
–6th Ave & 28th St
Overheard by: Eve
20-something guy dressed as Edward Cullen for Halloween: So anyway, I walk in, and they are both sitting there, playing with each other's erections…
–Bedford Ave & Berry St
Overheard by: Marie Miller Barnes
Ginger kid in audience, as photo of awkward Asian teen sticking banana in his mouth is projected on movie screen: I am definitely aroused.
–Tisch School of the Arts
Joggers to another: Raging hard-ons!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Katie
20-something girl to another: How could he not go out with you? I mean, you gave him a boner at Relay For Life!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Becca
Deli worker: Dude, did you just see those girls walk by outside?
Friend: Damn, dude, those girls are walking around like their shit don't stink! And it definitely doesn't.
Deli worker: Yeah, tell me about it!
Friend: Seriously, bro, I'd let both of them fart in my mouth!
–Deli, Greenpoint
Girl leaving apartment: Are you fucking for real? A gas mask!?
Guy, following: What do you mean?
Girl: You think I'm going to have sex with you after that?!
Guy: Huh… I still don't get it?
Girl: If you don't get how a gas mask and sword don't work, I can't help you!
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Smokey
Hipstress to another: At least now if you find a baby on your doorstep, you'll have a dresser drawer to put it in.
–Pete's Candy Store, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mat Freimuth
Gamer on headset, freaking out: Oh my god, why would you move the couch!? Why the hell did you move it, idiot!? When you move a couch, bad things happen! Move the couch… You stupid… Oh my god. Wanna know why we all died after moving the couch? Because we moved the damn couch!
–Glendale
Middle-aged woman backing away from pink, cushioned chair for sale: Only $199? I wonder what it would be like to fuck on that chair!
–Hamilton Heights
Angry wife: No, it's fine, at least I finally know how you truly feel about throw pillows.
–65th St & Broadway
