Younger girl to cougar on dance floor: Excuse me, but you need to be younger to sing this song.
Cougar: Well, you need to be prettier to wear a dress like that.
–Bar
Younger girl to cougar on dance floor: Excuse me, but you need to be younger to sing this song.
Cougar: Well, you need to be prettier to wear a dress like that.
–Bar
Guy to friend: I'm sorry. When I see tight shorts I don't think 80s hair metal.
–23rd St
Conductor: This station is Murray Hill. If you look outside your window and don't see a platform, then you can't get off. Sorry. Please walk towards the front of the train.
–LIRR
Overheard by: PW rider
NJ transit conductor: Folks, this is the 5:50 Midtown direct. We are leaving two minutes late because some of your fellow commuters would not board the train. Some people don't understand you can walk on the train. Sorry for that.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Overheard by: Katherine
Extremely Brooklynese conductor: Okay, we're being held up by another f and…uh…another d. Oh, jeez! Sorry, people, it's not my fault, blame the fuckin' dispatcher! (to person in the conducting booth) What?
–F Train
Overheard by: Jasper johnson
Conductor on loudspeaker: Now arriving at Penn Station. Please exit the train promptly. And to those sitting in the first two cars, sorry about the lack of lights and air conditioner. (loudspeaker turns off, after a pause back on). Actually, we're sorry about everything.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Overheard by: brutal commuter
Blonde girl: I can't believe he pulled his dick out. Except not really. Except kind of. Except I kind of had to put it back in.
–W 34th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Crazy hobo, to himself: Geritol. Yup, that's what she needs. That woman just likes some dick. And there ain't nothin wrong with that. Nothin wrong with a woman likin a long hard dick. Women like dick. Ain't nothing wrong with that. She's gonna get some Geritol all right. Cause see, you got to get it up in the crevices. Work it in with a little Bengay.
–Men's Bathroom, Penn Station
Overheard by: Phil
Salvadoran guy, discussing use of the word "faggot": They can take a dick up their ass, they can take a fucking joke.
–Lawton St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Eric Frazier
Black guy: Man, I can't wear tight pants because I have a big dick! My dick needs to breathe! (holds himself)
–Penn Station
Female Central Park crossing guard: Das cuz da dick was great!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Robert H
Very happy male suit wearing slippers, shuffling down to the subway: If you can wear slippers in New York, you can wear slippers anywhere.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Lara
Suit on cell: I'm so glad to be in New York, where everyone is so mellow and everyone talks American.
–DiFara Pizzeria
Guy to date: That's what I love about New York–people wear different outfits.
–Outside Deluxe, 113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Dad to preteen daughter: See, I really don't have issues with citizens not from New York city.
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: depends on citizens
Woman on cell: I'm in New York, where Sesame Street lives.
–52nd & 7th
Overheard by: AEVRed
Southern lady on cell: I have to say I'm disappointed. I thought the Wal-Mart in New York would be amazing. Ya'll don't even have a Wal-Mart.
–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th
Street vendor #1: Socks! Socks!
Street vendor #2: Your kids and my kids are down in the underworld together.
–Court & Livingston, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sean McGurr
Chick #1: What’s going on with these shopping carts?
Chick #2: It’s the race where people get drunk and dress up in stupid costumes.
Chick #1: Costumes?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Oh! I saw five guys dressed up as apostles down on Bedford earlier today! I thought they were just being ironic.
–Franklin Ave, Brooklyn
Girl #1: Oh, I like your sweater!
Girl #2: Oh, thanks, my mom gave it to me. You know it's funny, she gave it to me a few months ago because she said New York winters are cold and I have nothing that's wool. I was like, “Mom, you cannot seriously expect me to wear this for real.” Last week I wore it as a joke, but then everyone was like “That sweater is so cool!” so now this time I'm wearing it for real.
Girl #2: Good decision.
–Classroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand
Girl: And to think I wasn’t sure what was going on with him! Then last night I was like why would someone care so much about my underwear if they didn’t want to get into it?
Guy: That’s a great question.
Girl: Isn’t it?
Guy: That should be on OverheardInNewYork.
–Perry Street
Girl #1: It's really warm, and I really want to take these pants off.
Girl #2: That shirt's long enough to cover your butt, and you're wearing tights under it, right?
Girl #1: Yeah, but still. I'm not white.
–Stuyvesant High School
Suit: Hey, Tom! Tom!
Tom: Hey there.
Suit: Nice to see you fully clothed for a change. (winks)
Tom (looks around, sees bystanders eavesdropping): Yeah, uh, (raises voice) See you at the gym, Dan. (turns around abruptly, hurries into building)
–53rd & 5th
Overheard by: YeahRightSuretheGym
