Husband to wife: Maybe we should go tanning today.
Wife: Why? Are we going somewhere?
Husband: No, it's just for you. You look fishy.
–W 4th & Thompson
Husband to wife: Maybe we should go tanning today.
Wife: Why? Are we going somewhere?
Husband: No, it's just for you. You look fishy.
–W 4th & Thompson
Suit: Yeah, that new Brown guy is on my team.
Black woman suit: Umm…
Suit: Brown, the school…not skin color.
Black woman suit (turning into fabulous ghetto black women): Ohh, okay. Good thing–there was about to be a whole lotta ugly up in here.
–Times Square
Teen hipster on cell: You know, light pink is the navy blue of India. It's true! Don't ask me how I know this but I do.
–6th & 51st
Overheard by: simon
Flamboyant nasal-voiced man on cell: I'm feeling blue…like, royal blue…a little lighter…no, not baby blue…like, American flag blue…like…yeah.
–Jamaica LIRR Station
Aussie on cell: There were all these dudes wearing pink shirts…and they weren't even gay!
–55th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: wearing a pink shirt and gay
Girl to friend: So he made carrot salad and I said "Your poop is gonna be orange!"
–The Frying Pan, Chelsea
Latina: Well, she said "It wasn't white! It was yellow!" So I was like, "Well, was it at least shaped like a penis?"
–4th Ave & 40th, Brooklyn
Old woman #1: Oh, the Brown lady…
(old woman #2 stares, horrified)
Old woman #1: Her husband is Brown. (long pause) The surname.
Old woman #2: Ohhhh…
–10th & 3rd
Guy walking to rehearsal: I mean, he's really cute in that way that makes you want to hit him with a desk.
–Steinhardt Building, NYU
Middle school girl (about poster for condoms): Ewwww, at least they could've put cute gay guys!
–Q train
Overheard by: Robert
Vapid high school chick: Oh my god, I just found out that he's actually dating a freshman. And not even one of the cute ones either…she's like, brown.
–Central Park
Obviously gay boy screaming into cell: Jeremy, why the fuck didn't you tell me the massage therapist you sent me to does erotic massage? All I wanted was a place to relax! (pause) Yeah, halfway through he started jacking me off! (pause) Seriously? He never did that to you? (pause) Don't be offended. You're cute. He just could probably tell I have a big dick and couldn't keep his hands off it.
–Broadway & 20th St
Dude to friends: Did I tell you guys about the girl that I hooked up with the other night? She totally looked like a beaver… (awkward silence) …but I mean a really cute beaver.
–Ace Bar, 5th St b/w Ave A & Ave B
Overheard by: Santa's Boy Toy
Girl on cell: Tim's cute, I just wish he didn't love Jesus so much.
–N Train
Black dude: Hey, I like your tie!
White kid: Thanks.
Black dude: Cause it's black, like my cock!
–21st St
Crazy guy with black Labrador (angrily): Why didn't you say anything? I thought you were my friend.
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Sizzle
Middle aged Rastafari to Labrador: This isn't a chew toy, motherfucker!
–Central Park West
Overheard by: Sarah
Man to small puppy: You're so round and furry, aren't you Oscar? You're like a Mexican!
–Fordham Road
Old lady with tiny dog: Sparky, I really don't want to be in here.
–PETCO, Union Square
Overheard by: Ave
Woman to dog: Oh, rolling onto your back again, are you? Just like the slutty girl at prom…
–Extra Virgin Restaurant, The Village
Overheard by: wink
(crazy hobo walks up to little girl's dog and picks it up)
Crazy homeless man (shouting in the dog's face): I would name you snowball, but you're brown!
–Tompkins Square Park
Father: …and a sugar cookie.
Barista: Which color?
Father (to son): Which color do you want? (to barista) Purple.
Seven-year-old son: No, pink!
Father: Okay.
Seven-year-old son: But that doesn't mean I'm gay.
–Starbucks, 23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Blue-haired hipster: Dude, could you spare some change? I just need a dollar to get somethin' off the dollar menu at McDonald's.
Yuppie: Dude, fuck you! You're not hungry! If you were hungry you wouldn't be dying your hair blue.
–St. Marks & 3rd
Creep (yelling out of window): Oh, sexy! Look at you in that red shirt! I love girls in colors!
Girl #1 (yelling and running): I'm married!
Girl #2: Shit, don't say that. You look like you're 12, no one will believe you're married.
Girl #1: Yeah, I should have said I was a lesbian.
Girl #2: He'll just think it's hot!
Girl #1: I did always think that was so weird about guys.
Girl #2: It's not just guys. A lot of girls think lesbians are hot, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, like, especially lesbians.
–6th Ave
