Elderly man with eyes bulging: They fried up the Pope in a side of vinegar!
Girl: Yeah, they do that sometimes.
–Henry St & Pineapple Walk
Elderly man with eyes bulging: They fried up the Pope in a side of vinegar!
Girl: Yeah, they do that sometimes.
–Henry St & Pineapple Walk
Guy #1, in elevator at criminal courthouse: I don't understand. Why is it that every time I get arrested and come to court for something I did, they pull me aside and lock me up for something I didn't do? All I have to do is touch the door of the courthouse and they pull me aside and tell me I robbed the family dollar store! Why would I rob the family dollar?
Guy #2 in elevator: It's a family! Trying to make a dollar!
Guy #1: Exactly!
–Criminal Courthouse, Brooklyn
Overheard by: NYC Kim
HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.
–E train
Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.
–Small diner, Chinatown
Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.
–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Gigi
Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.
–Rue 57, 57th & 6th
Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!
–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?
Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?
Trench coat guy on cell: Are they arresting you?
–72nd & West End
Overheard by: orlum
Woman rushing inside: Oh my god! I was almost an eyewitness to something!
–Viacom building, 44th & Broadway
Overheard by: bonster
Man on cell: I’m sorry to bother you, but I really don’t wanna go to jail…
–S 2nd & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Are All Criminals So Polite?
Guy: That’s so true! He’ll willingly go to jail just for the free sex!
–Union Square Park
Chick toting a baby: Yeah, but I ain’t qualify fo’ that ’cause of all them felonies I got.
–Ridgewood, Queens
Overheard by: Grytsayo
Russian woman to Russian friend: I want to see Notorious because it's about black people.
–Regal Cinema, 13th & Broadway
High school boy: Hey, look–a black kid!
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Black guy: Don't worry, its alright! I'm not that black! I haven't mugged anybody in two weeks, and I love all white people under six feet tall!
–Time Square
Overheard by: Jennie
Middle-aged black woman, to no one in particular: That George W. Bush! He walks like an arrogant black man!
–Queens
Overheard by: BigFatTiger
Nerdy Jewish guy: I don't know what went wrong. I should be a black girl by now!
–Queens College
Mom: I thought you liked hate crimes.
20-something daughter: I do, but not against Latinos!
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Nervous Asian Girl
Little old lady to little old hubby: Fuck you, Dick, I am not crossing against the light! I can’t do it. Fuck you!
–Houston & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Almost peed on myself from laughing
Little tourist to mom: We are jaywalking, yay!
–Outside Sak’s
Overheard by: also jaywalking
Guy on cell: … So it’s fucked up, nights in the city. Everyone jaywalks, and they all wear black… Shit, good point! Blacks! … Yeah, you get a black guy wearing black, jaywalking — that’s a perfect storm of trouble! … I dunno, but I bet it has something to do with why insurance is so high…
–Broadway & Bleecker
Two guys cross street on ‘Don’t walk’ signal as car is coming.
Traffic cop: Hit ’em! Hit ’em!
–35th & 5th
Overheard by: mike
Loud grandma tourist blocking crosswalk: What’s the matter with these people?! Why are they crossing the street? Can’t they see the ‘No crossing’ sign? Where do they think they’re going?
–Times Square
Tourist woman to crowd of pedestrians: No, don’t cross! Here comes the big red hand!
–51st & 5th
Overheard by: Micaela
Guy on cell: …yeah, and then I got arrested. So what’s up with you?
–Brooklyn Heights
Cop: Man, there’s a lot of Grade A ass out here today!
–Ground Zero
Guy: Don’t feel bad, honey. I’d say that one out of every 8 guys is a convicted arsonist.
–Union Square
Cop: Man, I hate going to the bathroom. You gotta take all this stuff off!
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Suit #1: …so he’s got one hand on the car’s aerial, and with the other hand he’s punching a four inch by eight inch dent in the car, while running alongside. At this point it becomes destruction of property.
Suit #2: And that’s when the campus police got involved?
–52nd & 6th
Overheard by: Meredith
Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. (pause) Please stand clear of the closing doors. (pause) Station police officer, please apprehend the man holding the doors in the 6th car. (pause, then doors close) Hahaha, that always works.
–B Train
Overheard by: JustMe
Conductor: The door in car number two is not working, if you are looking at this door not opening I recommend moving, youuuuuuuu might want to move.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Brian Broker
MTA engineer: Please use all exits. For the love of god, people, use all the doors to get out of the train. What the fuck, people, use the doors. Thank you.
–G Train
Overheard by: lolz
Conductor: Please stop holding the doors. (people continue to hold doors). I'm already on the clock, I have nowhere to be.
–A Train
Overheard by: oliviz
Disgruntled subway conductor: Listen up, y'all! This train needs to move! Do not try to hold open the doors! Do not run at closing doors! Do not stick anything in the doors! That includes arms, legs, obnoxiously expensive purses, children, animals, whatever! Let's go!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Sarah
Conductor: Please stand clear of the doors or it will bruise yo face.
–C Train
Overheard by: Chris
