Fat queer to lady with baby in carrier: Oooh! That’s the kind of job I want. Get carried around all day and sleep whenever you want!
Baby daddy: Yeah! And suck on boobies all day!
Fat queer: Ewww!
–York St station
Fat queer to lady with baby in carrier: Oooh! That’s the kind of job I want. Get carried around all day and sleep whenever you want!
Baby daddy: Yeah! And suck on boobies all day!
Fat queer: Ewww!
–York St station
Frat guy #1: So how do you think you did on your history exam?
Sorostitute: I don’t want to talk about it.
Frat guy #1: Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.
Frat guy #2: She thought World War II happened in the 1970s.
–NYU
Overheard by: Seriously.
Woman: Have you ever been to Chelsea piers?
Man: No, I can’t say I have.
Woman: Oh. It’s wonderful. It has a great view of New Jersey.
Man: (sounding disgusted) Oh. (feigning interest) New Jersey, huh?
–Elevator, 25th & 8th
Guy: How was the weekend? Were the kids well-behaved?
Woman: It was fine, they were great.
Guy: How was Max at night? He sometimes gets lonely and starts crying.
Woman: Hmm, I don’t know. I locked them out of my room.
Guy, yelling: You what?!? How could you? You know how they are at night!
[pause.]Woman, unruffled: They are pets. Not kids. Pets. And I don’t sleep with dogs that weigh more than I do.
–Starbucks, 20th St & 6th Ave
HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.
–E train
Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.
–Small diner, Chinatown
Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.
–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Gigi
Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.
–Rue 57, 57th & 6th
Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!
–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?
Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?
Trench coat guy on cell: Are they arresting you?
–72nd & West End
Overheard by: orlum
Woman rushing inside: Oh my god! I was almost an eyewitness to something!
–Viacom building, 44th & Broadway
Overheard by: bonster
Man on cell: I’m sorry to bother you, but I really don’t wanna go to jail…
–S 2nd & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Are All Criminals So Polite?
Guy: That’s so true! He’ll willingly go to jail just for the free sex!
–Union Square Park
Chick toting a baby: Yeah, but I ain’t qualify fo’ that ’cause of all them felonies I got.
–Ridgewood, Queens
Overheard by: Grytsayo
Little boy: I love Manhattan! I love Tic-Tacs!
–Brooklyn Heights
Wife to husband: No wonder your eyebrows are making love!
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: anon
Biotech to texting friend: Now we’ll see how much he cares about you. I love testing people!
–23rd Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: sara n.
Gleeful hobo rubbing stubble beard: I love my beard! Mmmm, I love you.
–93rd & Broadway
Overheard by: punkee
Queer on cell: I don’t want love handles on love day!
–Lafayette & Astor
Woman on cell: Happy Valentine’s Day… Do you still love me, or do you hate me now?
–Hudson St
Overheard by: lilli
Old man wearing suspenders #1: That's a great pair of suspenders.
Old man wearing suspenders #2: Thanks. I had a heckuva time getting them.
Library security guard: Sir, please lower your voice.
–New York Public Library, 34th & Madison
Nine-year-old to friend: Yo, how many white people we got here?
Friend: One, two, too many.
–Fort Greene Park
(excited dog jumps onto lady)
Lady: Oh, why are you so frisky?
Dog walker: He's a puppy.
Lady: Oh, so he's new to New York? Soon he'll be just as jaded and angry as the rest of us.
–32nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Tacomeat
