“Starving Children in Ethiopia Don't Even Have Wednesday One-Liners!”

NYU student to another: Spinach is like sex: if you were forced to have it as a child, you wouldn't enjoy it as an adult.

–University Place & 12th St

Hobo, pointing to deli sign: They want you to toss your own salad for $8.95.

–23rd and 3rd

Overheard by: Nicole Shipman

Suit shouting into cell: Eggplant! Eggplant! Jesus Christ, what is so fucking hard about eggplant?!

–Greenwich Village

Overheard by: Sunny

Subway preacher: I like vegetables! You gotta eat them so you can live. I like to put vegetables in my mouth. I like the way they taste!

–N Train

Guy to another: Take the pickle, because by god if someone else does and you don't get it, well, you'll be pickle-less and that's not ideal.

–125th St

Overheard by: Brian K.

Posted on October 13, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Delis, Education, Food, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Kids, Money & Class, On the Subway, Preachers, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Street, Students, Suits, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Vegetarian & Vegan, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

The Critics Are Raving About Wednesday One-Liners!

30-something man to girlfriend: I liked it. I mean, it really made me think: if twenty years from now I went in a hot tub and was transported back to today, what would I tell myself to do with my life?

–23rd St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: drose

Dad to teenage children: I wouldn't see Twilight if my life depended on it. If I had to choose, I would choose to die.

–Times Square

Acting professor: Did you see how Brando picked up her glove? He wanted her to stay. Do you ever do that? Take someone's things just so you know they'll come back? (dead silence) Guess you kids just aren't devious like me…

–Tisch School of the Arts

Older man to ticket salesman: Are Precious and The Rocky Horror Picture Show a double feature?

–Clearview Cinema, Chelsea

Posted on October 6, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, College, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Dads, Death, Education, Film, Movie Theaters, Movies, Old People, Questions, Street, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Time, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

…Since You Said Eat Pray Love Was Too Advanced for Us.

Bored student, avoiding reading The Canterbury Tales: Is this going to teach us life lessons that we already know?
English teacher: Yes.
Bored student: Couldn't we read Chicken Soup for the Soul instead?

–Beacon St

Posted on October 4, 2010
Books & Writing, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Education, Students, Teachers/Professors

I Thought Deltoid Was an Airline

Climber girl, pointing at friend's shoulder: I can't do that. Look at those biceps…
Friend: Those aren't biceps. Those are deltoids. Aren't you going to nursing school?

–Brooklyn Boulders

Posted on September 23, 2010
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Comebacks, Education, Friends, Girls

I Already Have Rich Kids That Think I'm a Dork

Tween to mom: But mooooooommmmmmm, I don't want to go to that school.
Mom to tween: Chris Rock's kids go there.

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: Cathy Borck

Posted on August 23, 2010
About Celebrities, Education, Moms, Parents, School and studying, Tweens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

I've Seen You Handle a Banana

Teenage girl #1: What are you doing this summer? Want to have an adventure?
Teenage girl #2: Such as?
Teenage girl #1: Teaching monkeys in Africa how to eat bananas.
Teenage girl #2: I think you can handle that one yourself.
Teenage girl #1: Why are you so mean?

–Central Park

Posted on August 13, 2010
Animals & Nature, Central Park, Education, Fruit, Parks, Questions, Teens, Wishes & desires

Wednesdays Have Defense Wounds on Their One-Liners

College girl on cell: He told me he got in a knife fight with his dad, and I was like (sarcastic) "Yeah, okay! You got in a knife fight with your dad." (pause) But he probably did get in a knife fight with his dad…

–Columbia University

Girl to friend: Trinity is the school for kids from Choate who stabbed their roommate.

–Clover Club

Overheard by: Emily

Girl to friend: I will cut you in your face with a knife before I put my hands on you. You feel me?

–E 161st St, The Bronx

Hamptons club girl: You mean I cut him with a razor blade and I don't even recognize him?

–Outside East Village Club

Overheard by: DJ

20-something girl, on cell: Oh my god! Who the hell gets stabbed in the back of the head at a flower shop?

–Starbucks

Posted on August 11, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Education, Family Ties, Friends, Girls, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Shopping, Sorority Girls, Stab, Starbucks, The Bronx, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

The Non-Standard Usage Of Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: There's a lot bruacracy in public social work…

–Eastern Parkway & New York Ave

Overheard by: jeff

Woman on phone: Her mother is a bird. Her whole family is a flock of birds. I cannot even say how ghetto she is. She said, "columinate." I said, what? You mean "a-coom-a-late?

–1 Train

Preppy on cell: What's your next class? Professional rioting?

–Fordham

Girl: This class is skewered. There are only three guys and like twenty girls. Damn!

–Brooklyn College

Overheard by: Phil

Guy to girl on train: She's just like "huh, brutha." It's like, embedded in them. They were breaded that way.

–7 Train

Posted on August 11, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Brooklyn College, Education, Family Ties, Fordham, Girls, Government, Gripes, Guys, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Passengers, Politics, Preppies, Questions, School and studying, Sexuality, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Women, Words

They're Not Bullshit

Hot female student #1: I'm sending out goooood vibes for my calc exam.
Hot female student #2: Dude, the universe totally doesn't care about your calc exam.
Hot female student #1: What?
Hot female student #2: It cares about kittens! The universe cares about kittens! Jesus!

–Bedford Ave & Campus Ave

Posted on July 31, 2010
Brooklyn, Education, Gay Man's Best Friend, Jesus, School and studying, Students

Some Countries Blame the Juice for Everything

Tall, gay, black guy: Girl, I learned a lot watching that movie. There's a lot of sexism in Sweden.
White female friend: Who knew? You'd think they'd be more advanced.
Tall, gay, black guy: And apparently, they have a lot of anti-semenism too.

–Film Forum

Overheard by: Peter K.

Posted on July 25, 2010
Black People, Cum, Education, Fag Hags, Film, Gender issues, Movie Theaters, Queer guys, Sexuality, Stupidity, The Village, White People

Education