Lady looking at cellphone: Oh, it has free nationwide service. That means I can call anywhere in the world for free?
Boyfriend: No. Just in the nation.
Lady: Oh.
–Sprint Store, 42 & 6th
Lady looking at cellphone: Oh, it has free nationwide service. That means I can call anywhere in the world for free?
Boyfriend: No. Just in the nation.
Lady: Oh.
–Sprint Store, 42 & 6th
Crazy dude: Hey, can I have a sample?
Barista: I'm sorry?
Crazy dude: A sample of your coffee.
Manager: Sir! I told you last week not to come in here anymore.
Crazy dude: Huh?
Manager: Don't you remember when you threw a cup of coffee, hot coffee, at one of my baristas?
Crazy dude: No.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Flea
Headline by: drkipper
Runners-Up:
· “I Was Just Venti-ng” – fuvvcckkk
· “In His Defense, No One Else Thinks That It’s Really Coffee Either” – Peter G.
· “Naomi Campbell’s Lesser Known Brother Strikes Again” – Jakal
· “The Sequel to “Memento” Lacks the Narrative Drive Of the First” – Toby
· “You Should See What He Did at the Sex Shop Down the Street” – Charlie
Monster Energy drink rep: Free energy drinks! (hands drink out)
20-something woman: I'll get my cancer elsewhere, thanks.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Queso
Young female at happy hour #1: So getting a free dinner was cool.
Young female at happy hour #2: Yeah, it's not like that roach was on the plate.
–7th Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: Ed
Jewish grad student #1: Are you kosher?
Jewish grad student #2: Yeah, of course! Unless it's free…
–Orchard St
Four-year old to his father, dreamily: Let's go on the u train! The beautiful u train!
–D Line
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy girl to friend: I hope there's an exit at this station.
–96th St Station
Amiable suit, answering cell: Hi, hon. (pause) Well, I can't talk long–I have to drive this train.
–Amtrak, Penn Station
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Little boy: Is this train going to move, or what?
–Transit Museum
Overheard by: Rita
MTA worker in booth, over intercom: Hello everyone. The cost to ride the subway is $2. Only $2. The woman in that blue leather jacket and red hat thinks it's free. If you are standing next to a woman in a blue leather jacket and a red hat, tell her she needs to pay her toll like everyone else.
–6 Train Station
Slightly older and hairier gay: So, just to be clear, you do realize that you are a total twink, right?
Slightly younger and hairless gay: Duh. And I'm gonna ride that train all the way to free-drink town.
–E Train
Woman on cell: That's why I moved to Brooklyn: I hate people!
–Carrol Gardens
Overheard by: Smegma
Man on cell: No, no, no! You go to Brooklyn and suck that sweet white dick for free!
–35th & 8th
Brooklyn guy to date: I would walk all over Brooklyn for you! I would even walk all over Queens for you, you're so sweet!
–Tonio's Restaurant, 7th & 8th, Park Slope
Overheard by: D-Law
Train conductor: Because of a sick passenger at Clark Street, some of us may not be making it to Brooklyn…I'll let you know.
–Downtown 3 Train
Overheard by: D-Law
Conductor: This is York Street, the first stop in beautiful Brooklyn…yay!
–F Train
Dude with headphones on: How the fuck did Britney Spears get on my iPod?
–13th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Alice
Bus driver: Next stop, 47th Street. And to the asshole who has his iPod on too loud, turn it down or I'll throw you the fuck off.
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Turned mine off immediately
White girl: It was like Hanukkah on my iPod yesterday! It said there was no battery left but it lasted for two hours!
–Bayside, Queens
Overheard by: Alexandra
Dad to girl: If you can just get over being a pissy girl, you get a free iPod Touch.
–23rd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Jill Twiss
Really stoned girl, looking at iTunes latest releases: iFart mobile? Do they really have that for sale? iPhone can fart now? (pause) Is there anything an Apple device can't do?
–Bayside, Queens
Man playing electric guitar on subway: I take Mexican money, I take umbrellas. I take whatever you got. I have three kids at home who need iPods.
–2 Train
Overheard by: res
Blonde middle aged woman, singing, to the tune of "Winter Wonderland": Walking in a Weeeeeiner Wonderland…
–Food Store, 57th St
Hobo, rummaging in trash, to tune of "Blue Suede Shoes": One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go, cat, go. Gonna rob this town, rob this town tonight.
–79th & Broadway
Overheard by: thevineyard
am New York guy, singing loudly: Get am New York! Stay dry! Thank god you're aliiiiiiive!
–Union Square Subway Entrance
Hobo, singing while passing by shopping cart: Push, push in the bush, yeah, push it in the bush!
–16th St & 5th Ave
Gay gentleman, singing in response to another gay gentleman dancing down the street in pouring rain: He's gayer in the rain, he's gayer in the rain!
–W 23rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Jess
Man to Spanish guy singing "La Bamba": Shut the fuck up!
–51st St Station
