Gays and Lesbians

NYU bimbette #1: I swear, everyone at NYU is gay.
NYU bimbette #2: Oh, I know exactly what you mean.
NYU bimbette #1: No, I mean, like, everybody — like 40 percent.

–Veselka, 9th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Bean

92-year-old mother-in-law: It’s a two girl wedding?
Daughter-in-law, passing by second reception hall: Yes, two women are having a wedding reception, they got married.
Mother in law, as she studies the two women: Well, that one [Points.] isn’t so bad. she could have gotten a man.
Daughter-in-law: She didn’t want a man. she’s attracted to women.
Mother in law: I never had a chance to try that.
[Then proceeds back and forth to the bathroom several times during reception, to check.]

–Wedding Reception, Essex House

Overheard by: bridesmaid

Gay man with a completely serious tone: It is going to take a lot of brownie mix and a lot of sex -but I am committed.

–W 52nd & 9th

Overheard by: I wish I knew what they were speaking about

Queer: Well kids, it’s been great, but I gotta go. I have a meeting in a little bit and I want to masturbate first.

–Wagner College Dinning Hall

Queer: Anyone can just leave. It takes a true queen to make an exit.

–Christopher Street

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Queer: And then I was so glad I miscarried because getting knocked up and being pregnant is like, such a hassle!

–Sarah Lawrence College

Overheard by: bitterfame

Gay guy on cell: So wait, you got kicked out because a couple of bitchy fags sprayed you with alcohol?

–23rd & 7th

Black queer: My pillow is Gucci! Raaaaaah! [He beings to attack people with said Gucci pillow.]

–Pillow Fight, Union Square

Overheard by: Lillian

Old large gay man to group of young gays: It was really great meeting you all. You are such an interesting group of people. [To one boy.] I’d love to see you in a speedo!

–Hollywood Diner, 17th St & 6th Ave

Girl #1: Oh my gosh, this is so cool.
Girl #2: I know. [Smiles.]Girl #1: Thanks for bringing me here, I love you. I am so glad I became a lesbian, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t have met you!
Girl #2: Aww, thanks. Do you want to go to my apartment now?
Girl #1: Yes! Let’s go. Are we going to have fun like we did last night?
Girl #2: Even more, baby.

–M&M Store, Times Square

Hipster Girl #1: So you guys should come. Oh! You should bring your boyfriend, I haven’t met him yet.
Hipster Girl #2: I wish I could but it’s on Wednesday night, right? He’s really into fashion, that’s when he watches Project Runway.
[Hipster Girl #1 stares blankly at Hipster Girl #2 for a few moments.]Hipster Girl #1: Oh.

–Central Park

Overheard by: hobojane

Boyfriend: Don’t be mad.
Girlfriend: Don’t be gay.

–Union Square Park

Guy: So, I saw this video online of a chick who tied her beef curtains in a knot…

–Astor Pl

Chick: Maybe I should scrap my dissertation and just write erotica?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Chick: My favorite porn line, and possibly my favorite movie line ever, is, ‘Suck it, my queen. Suck it.’

–Grand Sichuan, St. Mark’s Pl

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Intern to another: They do too make gay pornography!

–42nd & Madison

Overheard by: Nicolas Agrait

Cube neighbor on phone with friend: So, the first thing she needs to do is throw it out — get rid of all the porn. I mean, she has closets and closets full of it!

–Midtown

20-something woman on cell: I may be too analytical for erotica.

–Outside Century 21

Overheard by: McFreaky

Tourist girl: Oh my god, did you see them? Did you see the lesbians?
Bored guy friend: Yes.
Tourist girl: That was so cool!

–1st & York

Overheard by: Not quite as excited

Straight girl #1: Go find me a cute boy!
Straight girl #2: Ok! I will… But he’s not going to be into you.

–Pride parade route

30-something guy: Don't tell me you have a boyfriend, I know that's not true.
20-something girl: Actually, I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say “I don't do dick.” But cool, have a nice day! (smiles and leaves)

–Grand Central Shuttle