Wednesday One-Liners Pretend They’ve Read Kerouac

Hipster chick: It costs like $280 to go blonde, which seems expensive but it’s totally worth it because then you’re blonde.

–Hop Scotch

Overheard by: bildita

Hipster: My brother entitled all of his college essays "Heeeey Essaaaaay!"

–Smith Street & President

Overheard by: Michelle C.

(drunk or ill hipster guy lying on stairs moans pitifully and vomits)
Hipster’s friend, looking away and pretending not to know him: Ha! Fag!

–7th Ave

Young hipster: Let’s face it, at some point I’m gonna be homeless.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Conti

Hipster girl: Pickles are so in right now.

–Renegade Arts Festival, Williamsburg

Posted on July 23, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Education, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hair, Hipsters, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Union Square and East Village, Williamsburg, Words

Kathy Griffin Makes Fun Of Wednesday One-Liners

White queer to friend: So I was sitting there at the restaurant with my parents and looked to my left, and who was there? LL Cool J! Ooooh, girl, he is fine. I was all: "Hey, LL, you can park your big Underground Railroad right in my behind!"

–UES

Hipster: You can’t really enjoy Evel Knievel in the traditional sense.

–St. Mark’s Place

Nine-year old boy to another: Ooh, Indiana Jones! Look, Shia LaBeouf! I used to go out with him.

–St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: learned something new about Shia LeBeouf

Proud teen: I had my picture taken with Dennis Rodman’s sister.

–Houston & West Broadway

Worried hipster: And I think Judge Judy would just say that I don’t have a leg to stand on.

–W 19th St

Bus driver: I know what it’s like to miss a flight. You have to ride a Greyhound bus and sit next to a fat guy who eats Cheez-Its and talks about Scott Baio way too much.

–NYAS Shuttle, JFK

Overheard by: innocent bus rider

Posted on July 23, 2008
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Boys, Bus Drivers, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Hipsters, Innuendo, JFK Airport, Kids, Movies, Parents, Pictures, Queer guys, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People

I Keep Eating Cheeseburgers and Sleeping with Women, to No Avail.

Hipster #1: Yeah, my 500-pound lesbian aunt went to Woodstock when she was 16. She still lives there.
Hipster #2: God, I wish I had been at Woodstock when I was 16.
Hipster #3: I wish I was a 500-pound lesbian in Woodstock.

–N 6th St, Williamsburg

Posted on July 22, 2008
Age/Aging, Default, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Hipsters, U.S. Geography, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires

The Girls-Gone-Wild Bar Gets Raised Every Year

Girl #1: So both the girls took off their panties and spread their cheeks for the crowd. And you would not believe it, but the one girl started eating the other one’s ass!
Girl #2: Nothing says “goodnight” like a good ass licking.

–Vespa, Upper East Side

Overheard by: Steve

Posted on July 22, 2008
Clothing, Default, Eating Out, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Nudity, Restaurants & Cafes, Upper East Side, Weirdness

Bone Wednesday-One-Liners-N-Harmony

Gay thug: I better be able to attend the motherfuckin’ flower show or I’m going to hit someone.

–1 Train

Thug: Man, he told us not to add more sugar but we put more sugar in that sauce. Shit was panty-droppin, son.

–Deli, 21st St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Ryn

Thug, in high-pitched voice and flailing arms, while running across the street in front of oncoming UPS truck: Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!

–45th St & 8th Ave

Thug, to friend: That shit done tore my heart!

–N Train

Puerto Rican thug: Au revoir, here is my choo-choo train.

–F Train Platform

Overheard by: Garuda

Posted on July 16, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crazy, Delis, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Languages, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Puerto Ricans, Queer guys, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Threats, Thugs, Wishes & desires, Words

And That Kind Of Fucked-Up I’m Reluctant to Discuss

Little boy looking at photos being sold on street: Why do they call it Gay Street?
Dad: They got all kinds of fucked up names for streets in this city.

–Times Square

Overheard by: R

Posted on July 15, 2008
Boys, Dads, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Kids, Names, NYC Geography, Questions, Times Square, Words

Didn’t You Wonder Why the Entry Exam Has an Interior Design Section?

College girl #1: Jake is the kind of gay where you don’t know he’s gay and when you find out, it makes sense. Nobody can be that hot and that straight. It wouldn’t be fair to every other girl out there if you were dating him. He’s the kind of gay you cry over when you find out.
College girl #2: Every guy is gay here. How did you not know that he was? It’s like, a prerequisite to get in.

–Fordham University Lincoln Center

Posted on July 12, 2008
Beauty, Crying, Dating, Default, Fordham, Gays and Lesbians, Offers and requests, Sorority Girls, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

I Mean, Maybe If It Was Your Birthday or Something

Guy #1: I mean, maybe I would spoon with you if it was really cold or if it was winter and we were in the mountains or something. But I’m really not that interested in spooning with you or anything. That’s the last thing on my mind.
Guy #2: Dude, I wasn’t offering.
Guy #1: I mean, I really don’t want to spoon you at all. Like, at all. That’s not my thing.
Guy #2: I really was not offering at all.

–1 Train