Girl #1: Dude, why do all these black guys want to fuck me?!
Girl #2: No, this guy just wants you to pee on him.
–63rd St & West End Ave
Girl #1: Dude, why do all these black guys want to fuck me?!
Girl #2: No, this guy just wants you to pee on him.
–63rd St & West End Ave
Ghetto girl to group of friends: And I was just like "Oh my god! No, she didn't! Not with that nose!"
–C Train
Guy: You could fry an egg on her stomach.
–Union Square Green Market
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Indian cougar: I just like the feeling of a nice hard young male body.
–Bowery St
Overheard by: Dj bj
Woman showing pictures on camera: And this is da one where I'm givin' him da deaf eyes…
–West Village
Overheard by: Cass
Woman on cell: Never once have I opened my legs to anyone… besides you.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Matt Martin
Teen to friend: They said it wouldn't be fair for me to fight her cause she ain't got no fingers.
–Outside Erasmus High School
Old lady to friend: You know who I feel sorry for? Yoko Ono.
–Central Park West
Female suit on cell: I once gave Carrot Top a massage.
–UCB Theater
Overheard by: Robert
Ghetto girl on cell: I know you ain't no Jay Leno and I don't speak Avatar!
–Fort Greene
Sober guy to drunk older guy: You know what you look like?? You look like a fucked-up Bobby Brown.
–3 Train
Woman at outdoor cafe: She's not that bad, she's more Snooki than Fran Drescher.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rick
Older black woman on cell, screaming: There are no leaves on the floor. No! No fucking leaves on the floor. The fucking leaves are green and still in the trees. Did you hear me?
–7th Ave & W 18th
Ghetto Spanish chick on cell: Oh my god, you got your tree? A pink tree!? Say, word… I'ma come by after work to see your pink tree. I never seen a pink tree before! Is it real?
–4 Train
Overheard by: DCBX
Sad 13-year-old to friend, in total seriousness: Right now… Here in social studies… My FarmVille crops are dying!
–Middle school, Coney Island
Blonde hipster to blonder hipster: So I told her, "you can take everything, but at least leave me the front lawn."
–Gramercy
Mom to friend, as baby makes screeching sounds and bounces around in stroller: I swear I didn't do drugs while I was pregnant with her. But I did have quite a few raspberry martinis before I knew I was knocked up.
–Belmont Park Race Track
20-something woman on phone: I need to slap that bitch. I don't care she pregnant, her face ain't pregnant.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Mike
Ghetto baby momma: And it was like I was giving birth on the toilet!
–Belmont Ave & 188th St
Overheard by: Toomuchinformation
Doctor to patient: You're not pregnant, you just have gas.
–W 204th St
Overheard by: JMS
Little girl on cell: Oh my god, I know! And I'm, like, "that's why you're fucking pregnant"!
–Central Park
Ghetto girl #1: Like, at least he's honest about it.
Ghetto girl #2: Yeah, I know. Like I hate it when guys be fronting and saying they can get it up when they can't.
–City as School, Girls' Bathroom
Ghetto-fabulous girl #1: Oh my god! I love this floor. It is so nice. And the people. They are so beautiful, every one of them!
Ghetto-fabulous girl #2: Mmm-hmm! And they dress so good–all professional.
Ghetto-fabulous girl #1: Damn! I bet they've got health insurance and shit!
–41st St & Madison
Ghetto boy: Yeah, you're lucky you even got a skateboard.
Ghetto girl on skateboard: (mumbles something)
Ghetto boy: Yeah, but you're not goin fast… cuz you ain't cute.
–133st & Broadway
Ghetto girl #1: Smut. What is “smut”?
Ghetto girl #2: “Smut”? Sounds like “slut.”
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah. I think it's like “slut,” but for a man.
Ghetto girl #2: Cause it has an “m” for men.
–31st St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Sco108
Young black girl #1: Why ain't you under the umbrella? You black.
Young black girl #2: I don't give a fuck if my hair gets messed up.
Young black girl #1: You black! You so black!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: rpk
