Chick: Does she think that looks hot?
Friend: She’s ten.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jax
Chick: Does she think that looks hot?
Friend: She’s ten.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jax
Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing!
–Fordham
A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are.
–Varick Street
Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Slutty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I've been shitting blood for two days.
–Citi Field Stadium
Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.
–St. Mark's
Overheard by: jax
Chick laughing hysterically on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Fresh Man
Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleeding from his eye sockets and shit. (pause) So you wanna meet up later?
–Willoughby & Vanderbilt
Chick to guys loudly singing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ : That song can’t turn you gay!
–Village Halloween Parade
Overheard by: That eavesdropper over there
Girl #1: Want to hear something horrible?
Girl #2: Sure, what?
Girl #1: This morning I went to get a Brazilian but the lady left some wax in my ass and it keeps chafing me…I’m in so much pain!
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Craig B.
Little girl: Daddy, why did that car just honk?
Father: Because they were from Jersey. (pause) People from Jersey are loud for no apparent reason.
–38th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Rosey
Mom: Honey, what's the matter?
Girl: Am I going to turn green for being a bad girl too?
Mom: Honey, I was just kidding about that!
–Gershwin Theater
Overheard by: Rogue
Chick in stall: Would you ever eat cereal out of my mouth?
Friend in next stall: Well, if I had that background music… Yeah, sure.
–Bathroom, Joe’s Pub
Comedy promoter: Come on! Great show — you know you want to come!
Tourist girl: No, thanks, I’m good. C
Comedy promoter: Come on! We have midget strippers!
–Times Square
Guy: Yeah, that date movie was dumb.
Girl: Oh, you saw it?
Guy: No, but I could tell by the font it would be dumb. It was the same font as Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie. I really hated those movies.
Girl: Ahhh, impact.
Guy: What?
Girl: The font. It's called “impact.”
–Staten Island Ferry
