Should-be-blonde girl: So this guy was 100% Italian.
Guy: You mean he was born there?
Should-be-blonde girl: No, but he's been there before.
–Luigi's Pizza Parlor
Should-be-blonde girl: So this guy was 100% Italian.
Guy: You mean he was born there?
Should-be-blonde girl: No, but he's been there before.
–Luigi's Pizza Parlor
Horny boy #1: Dude, when a girl asks for an ass massage she's totally asking for sex!
Horny boy #2: I know, man! I'd be pissed, too.
–Bleecker St
Girl: Shopping with you is like shopping with an old man.
Guy: Shopping with you is like shopping with a bitch.
–Modern Foods, The Bronx
Guy wearing a promotional cardboard to another: I think I'm going to treat myself to health insurance next month.
–Broadway & 43rd St
Overheard by: Maria
Woman on phone: My urologist wanted to stick a microscope up my urethra! (pause) No! (pause) Because it's going to hurt!
–Vandam St & 6th Ave
20-something woman on cell: Yeah, the doctor told me not to exfoliate my labia.
–R Train
Overheard by: Note to self….
Bartender: I gotta get sexy for my doctor tomorrow. I'm gonna be like, "doctor, I need you to examine me. I need you to remove my garments." Nah… I'm just playin'. My doctor's cute, though. For real. I'm just gonna show some cleavage or somethin'.
–Jamaica, Queens
Woman on phone: She wants to be a doctor. She likes it when the guts fall out. (pause) No, she wouldn't do that. She's too lazy to be a serial killer.
–Fox Newsroom, 6th & 48th
Overheard by: Newsbunny
20-something woman on cell: So I'm like, "Be a man and go in the ladies' room!"
–19th & 7th
Overheard by: tycho anomaly
40-something suit on cell: Why do I have to be the girl?
–University Place & 14th St
Overheard by: rich
Meathead: To the point where the hottest women in Thailand are men. But I mean, no homo or anything.
–Uptown 5 Train
Overheard by: Can't vouch for this
Woman on cell: So yeah, men and women are different. Anyway…
–High Line Park
Overheard by: hudson williams-eynon
Guy, looking at friend's iPhone: Ugh, I really didn't need to see shemale penis today.
–99 Below Restaurant
Overheard by: Calvin SC
20-something dude with lame Bret Michaels bandana: Come on babe, let me walk you home. Actually, fuck it, come over and watch a movie with me, I got some beer.
Unattractive older blonde: Nah, can't, I've got work in the morning, and I'm already wasted.
20-something dude with lame Bret Michaels bandana: Aw, you know I'll get you up as early as you need to get to work on time. You know I will. Plus, I'm pretty drunk, but I'm your cousin, so you don't even have to worry that I'll try to stick my wiener in you!
Unattractive older blonde: Well, alright.
–Grassroots Tavern, East Village
Cute hipster girl to guy with missing front tooth: Excuse me, is this your needle?
(hands him hypodermic needle he had left on his seat)
Sketchy guy: Oh, yeah, thanks. Diabetic.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rick Bruner
Guy #1: So I literally threw the books at her. And I said, “What's the point anymore? We fight like cats and dogs every time…”
Guy #2: So maybe we should all move in together in one big house! And we could marry each other's wives!
Guy #3: Yeah! Maybe…?
–17th St & 7th Ave
Bag lady to white guy whistling “When the Saints Go Marching In”: Damn, nigger, that's my jam!
Guy: I'm… Ummm… sorry?
Bag lady: Yeah? Fuck you too!
(guy and girl walk away)
Bag lady: Shit, I gotta get outta this town and get my own place!
–L Train
Overheard by: The Music Man
20-something man walking into restaurant: I'd never bring my grandmother here for a date!
–27th & Lexington
Teen: That shit was sick! That shit was sick! I wanna go home and slap my grandmother!
–94th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Slapped her how?
Ghetto dude in fight with girlfriend: Your grandmother is a bitch!
–Murray St & Church St
Guy to friend: My grandma used to chase us around with fly swatters…
–Houston & Allen
