Smoking NYU bro #1: Oh my god, dude! (pointing) Is that a new restaurant called Happy Hanukkah?
Smoking NYU bro #2: No, dude! That's a window with holiday decorations.
Smoking NYU bro #1, looking really sad: Oh.
–13th & 3rd
Overheard by: Charlotte
Smoking NYU bro #1: Oh my god, dude! (pointing) Is that a new restaurant called Happy Hanukkah?
Smoking NYU bro #2: No, dude! That's a window with holiday decorations.
Smoking NYU bro #1, looking really sad: Oh.
–13th & 3rd
Overheard by: Charlotte
Theology professor, after struggling with projection screen: This is Satan doing this to me.
–Lincoln Center, Fordham University
Crazy man with bullhorn: Hanukkah is for God, Christmas is for Satan!
–Fordham Plaza
Conductor: This is an uptown a train making all local stops. Yes, you heard right, all local stops. The e train is out of service today, as it is on a vacation to hell. Stand clear of the closing doors, please!
–A Train
Overheard by: Kirstie
Girl yelling to two friends across train: Jay-Z is like a devil worshipper. No, seriously, he's like a Freemason or whatever. They all are: him, Madonna, Britney…
–J Train
Seven-year-old tourist to mother: Are we going somewhere safe where the devil won't get me?
–34th & 28th
12-year-old boy: Hey guys! We are gonna take a day this summer and just do stuff! Like have sex and stuff!
9-year-old boy: That's all you ever talk about!
–Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn
Overheard by: ahahahahahahahaha
Travel agent: But they do give a wristband to all-inclusive guests and…
Slightly pudgy woman, in exasperated voice: But I don't usually wear anything on holidays!
–Travel Agent, 23rd St
Girl on train #1: Yeah, that was when I was snorting coke out of Maya's fake nails.
Girl on train #2, appalled: Ew! That's so dirty!
Girl on train #1: It was spring break in Mexico, everything was dirty.
Girl on train #2, shrugging: True.
–A Train
Chick on cell: Are you sure this is a sex trip and not a "meet-my-parents" trip?
–14th St
Overheard by: Argopelter
Laughing woman on cell: I'm going to be so busy when I get back! My week of relaxation is just going to be ruined by a hurricane.
–Starbucks, Park Ave South & 29th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy to three hot girls carrying luggage: Oh, hello, ladies. I also travel! What a coincidence! (girls walk away laughing) You can run! I will find you! It's only a matter of time!
–Financial District
Black woman on phone: Ya, man, I just got back from Miami. Shit, I'm still jet lagged!
–Wendy's, Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oh really?
Blonde girl on plane to another: I figured out on this trip that if you pack your lightest clothes on the bottom of your suitcase it will weigh less! Coming in, my suitcase weighed 54 pounds, and going home it only weighed 46! (second blonde nods knowingly)
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Meagan O.
Hobo: Hey girls, could you spare some change? Please? It's for my Hawaii fund! I'm gonna wear a bikini and dance the hula. And fuck it, I'm freezing my butt off!
–University Place & 10th St
Overheard by: queenofscots
Girl #1: Are you going away for spring break?
Girl #2: No. I wish I could.
Guy: I'm not. I'm auditioning for that reality show.
Girl #1: Oh, good luck.
Guy: But I'd better get it…I've been sleeping with all of them.
–NYU Dining Hall
Overheard by: KMW
Teamster #1: Don't you ever take a day off?
Teamster #2: Every day is a day off.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Man, entering subway and noticing religious freak speaking: Hey man! Good to see you! Where have you been all summer? Did you take a day off? Jesus doesn't take a day off!
–1 Train
Overheard by: J-OY-K
Son, coming out of The Plaza hotel: How come we didn't stay here?
Father: Because that would have been our whole vacation.
–The Plaza Hotel, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Rachel
