Ghetto girl #1: I just stepped on a piece of dogshit on my way to work. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?
Ghetto girl #2: Spray some perfume on your shoes.
Ghetto girl #1: I already tried that, and Britney's new perfume ain't strong enough!
Ghetto girl #2: Well, then rub it in shit again!
–Broadway b/w Maiden Lane & Liberty
Gluttony
Cashier lady: Damn, thank the Lord it's Friday! I'ma go to the heights and get me some margaritas and some quesadittas and get drunk and fat and happy. Damn!
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Sam
Lust
Woman to male friend: Oh, that sucks! I'm such a whore…
–5th Ave & 12th St
Greed
Teenager on school field trip eating sushi and talking to chaperon: Daddy, can I borrow some money for the gift shop? My credit card is down to its last $200.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art Cafe
Sloth
Hipster, seeing that there was construction on the train: Ugh, what are we–going to have to walk places now?
–L Train
Wrath
Library staff: Group study room people, we know who you are. Because we have your IDs. Please come downstairs and pick them up so we don't have to unleash our wrath on you.
–Brooklyn College Library
Envy
Two woman walking tall dog: I mean… can you believe that I used to carry him in my Givenchy bag and wrap him in cashmere as a puppy? I would be jealous!
–Bleecker & Spring
Pride
Girl, grabbing her ass: Don't you just love my ass? My ass rocks. I love my ass!
–Battery Park
Queer #1: He's just so hot.
Queer #2: Yeah, he's so gorgeous that everyone wants to have sex with him. Men, women, dogs… They all want to have sex with David Beckham.
–Bar 89, SoHo
Overheard by: undercovah sistah
Hot Asian boyfriend: Yeah… Once, I was really wasted and I had to piss so badly. I just pissed in the cab that I was in.
Pretty Asian girlfriend: You mean you pissed in your pants in a cab?
Hot Asian boyfriend: No, stupid! Right before I got out, I whipped it out and just pissed as quietly as I could.
(Pretty Asian girlfriend stops walking and just stares at him)
Hot Asian boyfriend: What?
Pretty Asian girlfriend, looking away: Poor cab driver! Oh, that poor soul… Who am I dating? (shakes head)
Hot Asian boyfriend: What? A man's got a right to mark his territory sometimes. Dogs do it too!
Pretty Asian girlfriend: Did you own that taxi cab?
Hot Asian boyfriend: No.
Pretty Asian girlfriend: Then why the hell did you pee on something that wasn't yours?
–Astor Place
Overheard by: poor cab driver
Girl on cell: I'll adopt it, the state gives you money for retarded kids.
–48th & 6th
Guy to friend, disdainfully: And she's always like, "I work with Down syndrome kids," at… computer camp or some shit.
–4th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Shannon
Girl: I think he is sexually retarded.
–5th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Abdul Marcos
Glitzed up Jersey girl to friends: I look so good right now, it's retarded.
–Ladies Room, Penn Station
Older man on cell: My dog has one of those retard vests, he can get into any restaurant in New York.
–W 23rd St & 6th Ave
Middle aged dad: Reminds me of something I saw around 1968. This hippie had two dogs…
Teenage daughter, interrupting: One was named Shitsy McFuck and the other was named Fucksy McShit.
Middle aged dad: I guess I told you that story before, huh?
Teenage daughter: So many times, I can't believe you're not in a nursing home.
–In Line to see Art Exhibition, W46th St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Thugette: Nigga, don't let your dog bite my kid! If that shit happens, my kid will bite your dog!
Thug with dog, surprised: Your kid will bite my dog?
–7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: D-Law
Drunk girl: (hiccuping)
Friendly gay guy: Oh, are you growing?
Drunk girl: (stares at him blankly)
Friendly gay guy: Oh, my puppy is growing, and whenever she is growing she gets the hiccups.
Drunk girl: I'm not your fucking dog!
–Elevator, Midtown Apartment Building
Overheard by: Meghan Monaco
Lady to dog: Pee! Pee! Pee! Poo on the universe!
–E 9th St
Overheard by: Jen
Well-dressed woman to little dog: Baby, those are cars. Cars are not our friends. You must always stay away from them… Are you listening to me?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Murphy
Woman, shrieking at barking dogs: Stop being crazy!
–Central Park
Overheard by: NB
Woman to Shih Tzu: Yo! I'm walking you, you're not walking me–calm down!
–109 & Manhattan Ave
Dog walker to dog, ranting: Bailey, I am so angry with you! (dog wags tail) Don't you even look at me right now! (yanks dog's leash) I'm taking the television out of your room! No more American Idol for you! (storms across street)
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: allison
Woman to dog sniffing random things: Focus. Fo-cus. Shit.
–Melrose & Wilson
Overheard by: richhorner.com
Old dog lady, smoking: Me, I've already been spayed.
–Dog Adoption Booth, Brooklyn
Overheard by: PrairieSquid
Old woman to another: Darling, I didn't know your husband was still alive!
–Restaurant, Upper East Side
Elderly black woman, yelling to line of cars honking their horns for Puerto Rican Day parade: Get yo punk asses back to 5th Ave!
–Grand & Graham
Elderly woman, complaining to physical therapist: I keep walkin' like I'm drunk (pause) Cause I am drunk.
–12th & University
Overheard by: tbs
Old lady, after being knocked down by man on bike: You know what… Go to hell! (giggles to herself) I haven't said that in a looong time.
–Union Square
Overheard by: letthesunshine
