One-Liners All Have Wednesday DNA

Woman on cell: And then he threw the wig and car keys at him, and to me, that says family!

–West Village

Overheard by: Kate S

20-something on cell: Yeah, I Rickrolled my cousin's Bar Mitzvah last night. No, he didn't get it, the sheltered little Short Hills prick.

–MoMA

Overheard by: Trevor

Young guy in deli to friend: So getting support from my parents is like dealing with a record label. You have to create a buzz, make it seem like you're doing something, or they don't want to be involved with you.

–Frank's Deli

Drunk girl: That's my brother! But we're both only children.

–Pieces Bar, Christopher St

30-something man to 30-something woman: When are we ever going to find a time when both of our parents aren't home?

–7th & 1st

Posted on November 18, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Cars and Driving, Celebrations/Parties, Compare/Contrast, Delis, Drunks, Family Ties, Friends, Girls, Guys, Internet, Kids, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, MoMA, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Rumor Has It, Street, The Village, Time, Wednesday One-Liners, West Village, Wishes & desires, Women

For Perfectly Good American Reasons

Man about to cross street to cabbie wearing turban: You terrorist! Get out of my country!
Cabbie, yelling: I'll fucking kill you!

–University Place & 14th St

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on November 13, 2009
Cabbies, KKK, Men, Murder, Stupidity, Terrorism, The Village, Threats

Mr. Trump Is Just Mean

Fat chick to friends: And then he said I reminded him of Rosie O'Donnell! (starts hysterically crying)
Friend #1: How? Like because you're funny?
Fat chick: No! Because I'm fat! (continues crying)
(man walking by bursts out laughing)
Friend #2: It's not funny!
Man walking away: Yes it is!

–7th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Jesse H.

Posted on November 9, 2009
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Crying, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Laughter, Men, Physical appearance, Strangers, TV, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Were Pretty Hot, Back in the Day

20-something man walking into restaurant: I'd never bring my grandmother here for a date!

–27th & Lexington

Teen: That shit was sick! That shit was sick! I wanna go home and slap my grandmother!

–94th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Slapped her how?

Ghetto dude in fight with girlfriend: Your grandmother is a bitch!

–Murray St & Church St

Guy to friend: My grandma used to chase us around with fly swatters…

–Houston & Allen

Posted on November 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bitch-slap, Boyfriends, Dating, Family Ties, Friends, Girlfriends, Guys, Insects, Insults, Lower East Side, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, One-liners, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Some Lengthy Wednesday One-Liners

Man on cell walking dog: What? But doesn't she know how big my Johnson is?

–Mott Street

Overheard by: Erica

20-something male, while passing sculpture of male nude: I don't get it. If you're going to make it with a dick, why make it so small?

–Time Warner Center

Overheard by: sd

Short Indian man, loudly into phone: All I wanna do is make love to you tonight… with my 11-inch cock!

–7th Ave & 35th St

Overheard by: Jenn B

Drunk guy, after fighting with girlfriend: How she gon' be mad at me 'cause I got a big dick?

–F Train

Posted on November 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Chinatown, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Height, India Indians, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Sex, Street, Visual Art, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

Wednesday's More Fun Than a Barrel Of One-Liners

20-something hipster to another, admiring long-legged blonde: How can you say you believe in evolution?! There is no way that that evolved from a monkey!

–1st Ave & 14th

Overheard by: Evolutionary

Little boy to brother: If I were a monkey, I'd take a crap on you.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Rebecca

Man on cell: Then Tim-Jim jerked him off with his feet. Only a monkey can do that!

–Bedford & Metropolitan

Overheard by: theeatenpath

Middle aged man pushing daughter's stroller: I can't believe she got Curious George's autograph!

–16th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Maquaid

Posted on November 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Beauty, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Brothers, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dads, Hand-Jobs, Hipsters, Kids, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Poop, Questions, Science, Street, Stupidity, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liner Can Be Made Of Ivory, Glass, Rubber and Sometimes Wood

Loud girl to friend: How the hell do you lose your vibrator?

–4th St & 2nd Ave

Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm just waiting in line at Whole Foods. Still want me to bring the dildo over?

–Whole Foods

Gay man to boyfriend: I'm glad we could come here and show your coworkers that we really do buy lube for our sexual adventures.

–The Leather Man

Overheard by: i don't go to sex shops with my boyfriend

Creepy older man on phone: Someone should really dildo her.

–5th Ave & 58th St.

Overheard by: Courtney

Girl, loudly: Why didn't you tell me you bought lube?!

–Crowded NYU Elevator

Overheard by: S

Large woman to group of friends: And if someone asks a question, I just wave a dildo in front of their eyes!

–Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: Liat

Posted on November 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Creepsters, Dildos and Vibrators, Elevators, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Lube, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, NYU, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Shopping, Store, Street, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Whole Foods, Wishes & desires, Women

You're in Brooklyn– What Do You Think?

Middle aged woman from out of town: I don't think there are any theaters around here.
Middle aged man with large open map: Maybe. Are we still in New York?

–Broadway Junction

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on October 30, 2009
Directions, Men, NYC Geography, Questions, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Theater & Dance, Women

Ironically, This Turned Into a Domestic Dispute.

Woman: Well, I'm concerned about foreign policy.
Man: Of course, you can make anything into a foreign policy issue. The environment… foreign policy… What does that even mean?

–Sweet Melissa, Brooklyn

Posted on October 29, 2009
Brooklyn, Government, Grocery Stores, Men, Politics, Questions, Stupidity, Women, Words

Next: Driving Gloves

Old woman pushing cart, loudly to old man: I'm going to get you mouthwash for your teeth.
Old man: But I don't have teeth.
Old woman, now yelling: I know that! But this way when you get teeth, you'll know you have mouthwash.

–Columbus Ave & 103rd St

Overheard by: Xsusha

Posted on October 29, 2009
Body Parts, Cleanliness, Health and Hygiene, Men, Old People, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

Men