Woman in yellow dress: Ya'll know how all women want Tupac with a weave?
Woman's friend: Mmm-hmm.
Woman in yellow dress: Well, this was him! 'Cept he doesn't drink, doesn't cuss, and he goes to church!
–Downtown F Train
Overheard by: Nina L.
Woman in yellow dress: Ya'll know how all women want Tupac with a weave?
Woman's friend: Mmm-hmm.
Woman in yellow dress: Well, this was him! 'Cept he doesn't drink, doesn't cuss, and he goes to church!
–Downtown F Train
Overheard by: Nina L.
Teen boy: Was it you who told me you watch porn?
Teen girl, sarcastic: Yeah.
Teen boy: Do you really?
Teen girl, rolling eyes: Oh, all the time.
Teen boy: Did you know there are some girls who put a squid up there?
–C Train
Overheard by: Paige
Intelligent-looking girlfriend: How's she going to run a marathon in 60 minutes?
Intelligent-looking boyfriend, indifferently: It's impossible.
Intelligent-looking girlfriend: I mean, not even those crazy black people can run that fast.
Intelligent-looking boyfriend, unfazed: I know.
Intelligent-looking girlfriend: I mean, I can't even drive that fast in the city!
Intelligent-looking boyfriend: Um… I hope you can go 26 miles in one hour.
Intelligent-looking girlfriend: Oh, right. I'm sorry. I was thinking 60 miles an hour. It's the vodka talking. Now kiss me once nicely, without whiskers.
(two minutes later)
Intelligent-looking girlfriend: I remember the first time I showered with you and I had this big snot coming out my nose.
Intelligent-looking boyfriend: I remember the first time I slept with you, and farted a lot.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rick
Bearded male hipster on cell: My clit is so stimulated right now! (pause) The communists are attacking! (pause) This is awkward.
–Grassroots Bar
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Guy playing guitar: Look on the bright side, at least we don't have to wait in line for toilet paper anymore. Fucking communists.
–L Train
Overheard by: Milt
Man, seeing another man carrying large box of cereal from warehouse store: That's the biggest box of Cheerios I've seen since we lived on the commune!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Janine
Young, normally-dressed guy, to no one in particular: Your President is a commie scumbag, and he owes me money.
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th
50-something man to friends: Have you heard about Twitter? It's a new way of communicating in short text messages. Each message is called a twoo… No, a tween. No, a twain. No, a twat… No, that's certainly not it.
–Lobby, Off Broadway Theater
Overheard by: another electric guy
Guy with iPhone: I have to twitter! Does the girl with the room above the high line know she's topless?
–The High Line
Woman, while waiting for film to start: Joan Rivers just tweeted.
–Chelsea Clearview Cinemas
Guy on cell: All those food trucks? I'm not into them, but those fucking homosexuals follow them on twitter.
–Waverly Place & MacDougal
Overheard by: Sally
Unassuming hipster with group of girl friends: Sometimes I drink just so I can tweet drunk.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Middle aged woman dressed like a teen, hitting on baseball fan: Your cat could definitely have a twitter page.
–F Train
Asian girl #1: Ew, I don't like the taste of beer.
Asian girl #2: Yeah, but if you don't drink beer and get used to the taste, people will date-rape you.
–Q Train
Overheard by: quesito
Guy: I'm hanging with Ray tonight. You know Ray?
Girl: Yeah, I know him! I used to sit on his face!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Rocco
Little boy to man sitting across from him: It's my birthday!
Man: Well, you know what? Now you have to wait 12 months till your next birthday. I don't have to wait 12 months till my next birthday.
–R Train
Employee: They tryin' to tell me I'm bipolar. I ain't bipolar; I just a overprotective parent.
–Chock Full o' Nuts, W 86th St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Calm woman: The thing about being a therapist is that, well, you're just a band-aid.
–W 3rd St
Dude, introducing himself: So, uh, my therapist thinks I'm ready to start dating again.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jenny
Eight-year-old with older man to cashier: He's not my father, he's my therapist.
–Deli, Upper West Side
Man on phone: Wait, so she bit you? Dude! Wait, what? She punched you? Oh, you went to punch her? Dude, you punched her?
–Penn Station
Too young for final stage alcoholism guy: I totally held my own. I knocked the girl out and fucked the guy up.
–10th St & Ave A
Gangster: Next time I see him, I'ma kick him in his good leg.
–Uptown F Train
Softball-player-looking girl to friends: If you ever wear a tiara at your wedding, I'm going to punch you in the face.
–Wagner Park
Overheard by: mclaire
Young mother to others: Yeah, but you hafta be careful. You can't just hit your kids in public.
–Rivington & Essex
Overheard by: verbal abuse ftw!
Boyfriend to girlfriend: But if I punch you in the throat you will stop breathing.
–SoHo
Teen girl: Did you see that? I almost punched Ira's glass in the chest! That was awesome!
–AMC Theater, 19th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katie
