20-something #1: And she was telling me how she was going out with Mike that night and I was saying to myself, “that's kind of weird, because I made out with him first.”
20-something #2: Did you say that?
20-something #1: Well, I had to say something. And she said, “don't worry, he'll be the last guy we share.”
–F Train
Ghetto chick #1: Oh no! We didn't fuck on the first date!
Ghetto chick #2: What do you mean you didn't? Stop, stop, stop! You got me all twisted!
Ghetto chick #1: I mean… if you really think about it, it wasn't a date…
–E Train
Hot girl on cell: You got cockblocked by cancer! (pause, then very seriously) Is your pussy still radioactive?
–Upper East Side
Grown man talking to grown woman: You know the sandy vagina?
–32nd & 8th
Street man to slutty-looking hipsters: Freeze! Drop your drawers! We've got your pussy surrounded!
–2nd Ave
Overheard by: Maureen
30-something woman on cell: I like to use a blowdryer on the… uh… vaginas.
–D Train
Girl, screaming into cell: No, I will not give you my vagina!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Can I borrow it?
Loud bar patron, reading new item on menu: Anybody know what artisan cheese is? Anybody at all? (mutters) Shit man, this is Astoria, we don't know no artisan cheese.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Jesse
Guy: He said "when you cum yourself." I looked at him and said "that is not how you say that."
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Jill
Girl to friend: So, you see, I was right! It's spelled w-h-e-r-e!
–McDonald's
Guy: And stop trying to rhyme words with other words.
–16th St & 8th Ave
Guy to girl: I am really into words, especially long ones. I love them, and like, collect them. There is a word for people like that, but it's pretty long, so I can't remember it.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Lady: He doesn't speak English good, so he gots deported.
–Park Slope
Girl to a friend: I was piss drunk when I saw The Passion Of The Christ.
–Chelsea
Skateboarding juvenile delinquent to crew: We are totally like the movie Kids, all that's left is for me to get Aids.
–Mott & Prince
Overheard by: Dirty needle or gay sex, your choice
Suit to another: The soundtrack to Big Top Pee-wee was amazing.
–St. Mark's Place
Seven-year-old Asian boy to mother, during the movie Up: He loved and he lost…
–Regal Union Square Theater
Crazy 30-something man: Excuse me! You probably think I'm looking for money. I'm not. But I'm looking for a companion! A girl, aged 18 to 25, and she must have a DVD player, so we can watch movies!
–1 Train
Overheard by: nella
Guy #1: In the future, no one will wear pants. People will realize how unnecessary they are.
Guy #2: Or maybe Spandex will come back…
–B Train
Black guy to black girl: Are you a lesbian?
Black girl: Ha ha! No.
Black guy: What, you don't like pussy?
Black girl: No.
Black guy: I like pussy, why don't you show me yours?
Latina girl: Sit down.
(black guy sits down, Latina girl puts hands in his pants)
–Uptown 2 Train
Hipster boy to friend: I don't know if they're the best band to be playing with, because they're like a gypsy rock n' roll punk band, you know?
Friend, tiredly, knowingly: Oh, yeah.
–F Train
Overheard by: Tricia
Hyper tourist to friend: Wow! A shoe repair shop? Can we go? Please? Come on, don't you have some shoes you want shined?
–74th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Raven
Enlightened tourist: Oh! So Broadway's not just one place? It's a series of buildings? Oh, I see!
–46th & Broadway
Tourist woman walking off Brooklyn Bridge: Wow, look at how nice this is! I can't believe we paid only $24 for it!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: D-Law
Tourist to another: There are so many yellow cars in New York City.
–42nd & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Lisa
Tourist: Not until high school did I know buses could make turns!
–E Train
Overheard by: Probably had to repeat a few grades
Tourist exiting subway: Did anyone lose a pass? Because I just found one.
–103rd & Broadway
Drunk guy #1, doing acrobatic moves on subway bars: I have the tears of a gay ballerina on me.
Drunk guy #2: Yeah, and it's kind of redundant.
–L Train
