Girl: My back, neck, shoulders, knees, and ankles hurt!
Friend: Oh, so it's like all your joints?
Girl: No! My elbows are fine.
–6 Train
Overheard by: POLA
Girl: My back, neck, shoulders, knees, and ankles hurt!
Friend: Oh, so it's like all your joints?
Girl: No! My elbows are fine.
–6 Train
Overheard by: POLA
Crazy teacher to little kids getting off train: People! We cannot convene in this manner! Do not stand around like a herd of goats!
Sane teacher: Did she just say “goats”?
–F Train
Overheard by: Afraid for the State of Education
Loud-mouthed girl to friends: She says, "I've had sex with over 100 men." And so I says, "girl! You fourteen!"
–R Train
Thirty-something black man to Catholic high school girls: So what's it take for a couple of black guys to get to play with y'all's skirts?
–Metro-North
Overheard by: kfkdjsdf
Father to infant daughter in stroller: Hey! Close your legs!
–SoHo
Professor: Your favorite teacher from high school turned out to be a pedophile? Seriously? Well was he a real pedophile, or just a hooking-up-with-teenage-students kind of pedophile?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Jack Package
13-year-old girl on phone: So guess what… I lost my virginity last night… looks like you owe me a soda.
–H & M
Overheard by: Imani
Regular guy: You got Old English reeking out your pores… Come outside and air out.
–Frederick Douglas & 126th St
Mother of three: Come with me and I'll buy you a bag of beer! I've never had a bag of beer before and I could really use one!
–34th St & Broadway
20-something girl to another: I gave up Grey Goose for lent.
–Pizza Shop, The Bronx
Overheard by: E.J.
Guy with teardrop tattoo: Dude, moonshine is awesome. It's 99% alcohol and 1% liquor.
–L Train
Overheard by: someone's going to the ER/remedial math class tonight…
Ditzy girl: I was thinking, how come I had a much worse time junior year than I did sophomore year? Then I realized, it's because I didn't drink margaritas.
–Party
Overheard by: The House
Hobo: Where you guys from?
Tourists: Australia.
Hobo: Oh, far, far, far. Tip for you: break the law on weekends. If you break the law on weekdays, it's easier to get caught. But break it on weekends, you can get away with it.
Tourists: Oh… awesome. Thanks.
–C Train
Overheard by: freckles
Tourist daughter: Is it true that New Jersey is just like Kansas City?
Tourist dad: Yes, honey. Only dirtier.
–6 Train
Unattractive fag hag: So we went out Friday and he slept over afterwards.
Gay male friend: I knew it!
Unattractive fag hag: Yeah, but then like, the next morning, I was in the other room and I overheard him talking on his cell phone and he was saying something about how I was a brown bagger. What does that mean, that it was in the bag? Like, I'm a slut?
Gay male friend: Uhhhh… something like that.
–L Train
Grumpy old women on subway: Hey, you! I paid two dollars for this and I am tired. Give me that seat!
Teen: Umm… ahh… What the fuck?
–M Train
Overheard by: Zach
Angry woman, venting: Oh, but he doesn't know I scrapbook like a motherfucker.
–M&J Trimming
Girl, screaming: Fuck you, International Baccalaureate!
–Brooklyn
Really angry guy on cell: I'm talkin' about mothafuckin' cookies and apple juice!
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Q
Well-dressed black man, addressing entire train: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to talk to you today about… fucking. You see, everybody likes to fuck. My parents love to fuck. My ex-wife–she loved to fuck. President Obama, he enjoys fucking…
–Q Train
Overheard by: Hunter
Six-year-old girl to mother, ready for day at the beach: Shit, mom! It's fucking raining!
–Q Train
Suit on cell, cheerily: Okay, fuck you, bye!
–7th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: dignell
Little girl to mom: But mommy, what comes out of Tinkerbell's bladder?
–92nd St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Gordon D
Conductor: And don't forget to wave goodbye to me when you get off. Hey, you! You didn't wave! Can you people believe it? He didn't wave after I asked him to. So please, remember to wave goodbye to the conductor because we drive these trains, and without us you'd be taking the bus in the daylight and you vampires will burn, burn I say, burn!
–3 Train
Overheard by: I waved
Tattooed man in leather vest, to friend: I'll tell you straight up: I am an angel designed to destroy demons. (weighty pause) I have no compassion… whatsoever… for demons!
–42nd St
Overheard by: Harper
Man to friend: The problem with New York is that there are just so many places for zombies to hide.
–57th St b/w 5th & 6th
Little girl: That's not a fairy! That's a boat!
–Waiting for Ellis Island Ferry
Overheard by: Laura
Teenage girl to friend: I'm not listening to you, I'm looking for the dragon!
–Prospect Park:
Man trying to quiet down crying toddler: Shhhhh, you sound like a Wookie!
–Brooklyn Zoo
Overheard by: Snoog
