Once Again: Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin Feels

Well-dressed girl #1: You know what?
Well-dressed girl #2: What?
Well-dressed girl #1: Throwing up at work really isn’t as bad as it seems.

–Prince Street

Chick #1: …so, I got these laxatives.
Chick #2: Did you take them?
Chick #3: No, but I never eat. I have, like, one orange a day.

–Columbus Circle

Girl: It might be time for anorexia.

–Columbia University gym

Overheard by: djlindee

A woman can be heard vomiting in the bathroom.

Maitre d’: Did she drink too much or is she just watching her weight?

–Pastis, 9th Avenue

Overheard by: Initials

Posted on March 13, 2015
Anorexic, Diet/Weight, People, Restaurants & Cafes

There’s Plenty of Amateur Farmers Around to Help

Girl #1: Oh my God, look at that lady.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Titty drip!
Girl #2: Oh my God. Go home and milk yourself.

–19th & 5th

Posted on March 12, 2015
Girls, Manhattan, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nipples, Parents, People, Places, Private Parts, Rack, Topics

Jacques Cousteau: Au contraire, tards.

Teen boy #1: Dude that sounds like someone trying to drown a dolphin.
Teen boy #2: Ha, ha, ha! Yo, they live in the water! They can’t drown!
Teen boy #1: I know, that’s why it’s so fucked up!

–58th & Lexington

Overheard by: Max Melsenti

Posted on March 9, 2015
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Stupidity, Teens

Where’s Carnac When You Need Him?

Guy #1: What did you say?
Guy #2: What do you think I said? “That ain’t shampoo, it’s maple syrup.”

–1st between 74th & 75th

Overheard by: The Iron Lung

Posted on March 8, 2015
Food, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, People, Places, Upper East Side

It’s Wednesday One-liners, Baby

Teen girl on cell: …you just gotta sit him down and say we’re both pregnant by him and we wanna know if we can get along!

–Canal Street

JHS boy: Let’s make like a fetus and head out.

–Broadway & Washington Place

Drunk girl: How could I be pregnant? I like women!

–Times Square

Thug on cell: Nigga, how you been? Shit, I had five kids since I last seen you!

–Elizabeth & Prince

Guy on cell: Do we have to wash you and shave you and put a diaper on you before tonight?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: djlindee

Posted on March 8, 2015
Babies, Chinatown, Drinking & Drunk People, Kids, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, People, Places, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Relationships, Should've Used a Condom, Soho, Teens, Thugs, Times Square

The Cuss-Faucet Continues to Drip After You Turn It Off

Woman #1: I don’t care what kinda shit he was talkin’ about. That motherfucker was out of his mind!
Woman #2, motioning to small children nearby: Stop cursing.
Woman #1: Oh shit, I’m sorry.

–34th St N/R platform

Overheard by: jazzystar69

Posted on March 7, 2015
Anger Management, Kids, On the Subway, People, Places, Topics, Women, Words

A Pride of Wednesday One-liners

Queer: You know what I completely forgot people worry about? Getting pregnant.

–The Slide, Bowery

Overheard by: professional hag

Posted on March 7, 2015
One-liners, People, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Queer guys

Starbucks: Where Six of One is Not a Half-Dozen of the Other

Employee: Ma’am, can I help you?
Woman: I’d like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3…
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She’ll take 6.

–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse

Posted on March 5, 2015
Baristas, Education, Favorites, Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, Restaurants & Cafes, Shopping, Starbucks, Stupidity, Topics, Venues, Women

Leeds, are you sure?

Man in a thick British accent: There isn’t a town of Leeds in England. I’m from the CITY of Leeds.

— Opening night party for an off-Broadway show in Link

Posted on February 24, 2015
Foreigners, Global Geography, History & Geography, People, Theater & Dance

Because Nothing Says Hilarity Like Catholicism

Suit #1: No sir, the kids don’t have school off tomorrow. You believe that?
Suit #2: Wait, the Catholic Schools don’t close for the Jewish holidays? You’re kidding me!

–Elevator, Park & 33rd

Overheard by: Nick Jezarian

Posted on February 21, 2015
Catholics, Elevators, Holidays, Jews, Kids, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, People, Places, Suits

People