Who's Gonna Hold Wednesday's Hair While She One-Liners?

Self-tanned woman on BlackBerry, pushing stroller: I'm gonna puke because you're not here with me!

–American Eagle

Overheard by: liveyourlife

Cheerful woman on cell: Oh yeah, I been getting mad nauseous on this bus! But I ain't putting my face near that toilet back there, nuh-uh. I'd rather get sick all over myself.

–Chinatown Bus to DC

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Guy waiting for n train: I just want to fucking go home and puke in my own fucking toilet!

–Canal St & Broadway

Woman: I come out of the bathroom after three hours of him barfing, and people think we were having sex! You think I'm that hot at 46 to go shag my boy in the middle of a party? And even if I were, I would have been gone for, what? Like, ten minutes? Max!

–Time Warner Building

Girl to friends: I definitely think gay vomit would be the prettiest.

–Perry & Bleecker

Overheard by: other contenders?

Posted on October 7, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Body Parts, Bus, Celebrations/Parties, Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Home, Sweet Home, Hook Ups, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Store, Street, The Village, Time, Vomit, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

I've Realized It's What Jesus Would Do.

Young woman #1: Yeah, I'm trying to avoid root vegetables.
Young woman #2: You're avoiding root vegetables?!

–Whole Foods, Bowery

Posted on October 6, 2009
Food, Lower East Side, Questions, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Women

Why Do You Think We Named You “Kleenex,” Sweetie?

Toddler, as mom wipes her hand on him: Ew! What was that?
Mother: Love.
Toddler: Gross!

–54th & 10th

Overheard by: aida

Posted on October 6, 2009
Kids, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Parents, Questions, Weirdness

Good to See Kids Using an Is/Is Not Matrix to Solve Problems

Girl: My back, neck, shoulders, knees, and ankles hurt!
Friend: Oh, so it's like all your joints?
Girl: No! My elbows are fine.

–6 Train

Overheard by: POLA

Posted on October 6, 2009
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Questions

I'm Getting You a Cell Phone

Little boy: When we leave, how do we know how to get home?
Waspy mommy: Oh! C'mon sweetie, you know our street don't you?
Little boy: Uptown!

–Saks

Overheard by: smith

Posted on October 5, 2009
Directions, Home, Sweet Home, Kids, Moms, Parents, Questions, Store, White People

Lion: Tsk, Kids Today!

Mother to daughter, at lion exhibit: And what sound does a lion make?
Young daughter: Woof?

–The Bronx Zoo

Posted on October 5, 2009
Animals & Nature, Kids, Man's Best Friend, Moms, Parents, Parks, Questions, Stupidity, The Bronx

But I Was Drunk, So It Came Out As “Muahd Hhja!”

Girl #1: Did you see those NYU students last night?
Girl #2: Yeah, I wanted to say: “Hey, hey, NYU, I got into your school too!”

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Natalie

Posted on October 5, 2009
Columbia, Columbia (& Barnard), Education, Girls, Pick-up Lines, Questions, School and studying, Wishes & desires

A Lesson the Royal Family Has Yet to Learn

Guy #1: So how are things going with your new girlfriend?
Guy #2: Dude–she's not my girlfriend. We're just fucking. And, like… I don't know. She's been acting really weird.
Guy #1: Weird like what?
Guy #2: I don't know! Whatever, man. I guess she and I were better off as siblings.

–McDonald's, Times Square

Overheard by: …that's what she said?

Posted on October 5, 2009
Family Ties, Guys, Hook Ups, Incest, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Times Square, Weirdness

Bet This Pisses Off Osama More Than You

Lady #1, looking at Time Warner buildings: Oh, look, it's the twin towers!
Lady #2: Well… but like, those aren't the real Twin Towers… cuz, they like… fell.
Lady #1: Well, they're twins too, aren't they?

–Columbus Circle

Headline by: Chuckles

Runners-Up:
· “Oh, Look! The Octo-Towers!” – Octomom
· “Some Porn Movies Shouldn’t Even Try to Have Dialogue” – Twin Peaks
· “They’re Fraternal, Right?” – Chelsie
· “Yeah, the Anorexic Looking One Is the Mary-Kate Tower” – Errrrrn

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on October 5, 2009
Family Ties, Ground Zero, Headline Contest Winners, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Stupidity, Terrorism, Women

Especially New Yorkers

Mother, in front of bridal store: Those dresses are so ugly. Why would anyone wear a dress like that to their wedding?
Daughter, in stroller: Some people like ugly!

–57th & Park Ave

Posted on October 5, 2009
Beauty, Clothing, Girls, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Parents, Questions

Questions